Need Experiences for Article

Hello, I would like to share the experience that we have had with my Grandson Dylan. He has been diagnosed with ADD. He is very smart also. His IQ is very high. He is in the second grade—reading on a 7th grade level. His intelligence is remarkable. Yet the public and private school setting is not working out. I guess I should start from the beginning….When Dylan was about 2 yrs old he would act out how bugs and worms moved…he learned the very complicated names of dinosaurs and the kinds of bugs that the average 2yr old was not interested in. It was amazing to say the least. He was so far advanced in his comprehension of the english language. He was so different from the other 3 grandsons that we had , even though they were all about 6 months apart. He loved books and taught himself to read simple words and when he was 3 he came to his Mom and said that words had these things in them…he would sound out syllables…not even knowing what to call them ….he would say Dylan has 2 of them potatoe has 3. We were so excited when it was time for him to go to Kindergarten….We just knew he was going in there and do so well. His Aunt is a Special Ed teacher and since Dylan was doing the animal impressions and naming all the bugs and Dinosaurs, she told his Mom to get him tested right away …she recognized there was something there too. Well, Kindergarten was a Nightmare! He would not color, he would not finish any thing they gave him to do….We asked them to test him…we figured that he was bored. He was always so smart…Well, that was the wrong thing to do…they saw a child that was not doing anything that they asked him to do…Parents were going to the school daily, it was a mess everyday…Parents asking for him to be tested, the Principle saying things like . My Grandchildren are gifted they certainly don’t act like him! She was so set on proving that we were wrong about Dylan being so smart, that she would not help us try to see what the problem was…She was accusing, and put the parents down , making them feel responsible for the problems Dylan was having…when they would ask what to do, it was spank him, take things away, go to another school, never, lets test him, or lets get some help or anything that was going in the right direction to get to the bottom of this. Dylan spent the first 3 months of school in the Hall, with every child in the school passing by him on their way to the Library making remarks and also making fun of him. He never saw a movie, never went on a field trip. Never got a snack when the others did. One day on the play ground, with a student teacher Dylan was told to do something and he told the sub No! Well, she took him to the office…..to paddle him, when she was informed that she was not allowed to spank him, because the Parents wanted to be contacted first…she suspended him for 3 days! Kindergarten is not even required in Alabama. But I called the School Board and spoke to the Assistant Superintendent of County Schools, he was on the phone with me for 45 minutes….giving me his thoughts on the matter, first thing he said when I told him that they had suspended Dylan from Kindergarten was Thats alittle young isn’t it? I agreed…but it was done…So we could not send Dylan back to this mistreatment ever again…we decided to put him in a Christian Based Private school. Very exspensive…but since he had been suspended from school their board required that he be tested to see what the problem was. That was done (at our exspense). They found that he had ADD. But the most immedient problem was the self esteem…it was so low, he would say “I am just a failure, a hopeless failure”. He was 5 yrs old. He walked with his shoulders drooped and head down…they worked for the rest of the year just to get his self worth back to a place where he could function again. They saw that he was so intelligent that he was reading where the others could not. But were too afraid to really do anything except encourage him. We could not afford another year, so we prepared him to go back to public school. We were told that in order to get back in Public school , He would have to go to the School from Hell that he had started in , since he was suspended, to get released by them I refused to ever let him enter there again. So, I called the State of Alabama Education Dept. The person over the dept that deals with kids with ADD was very helpful. She insured me that there would be someone from the county that would get in touch with me…..They did and when I told them of the treatment of this Child, they wanted to know what can we do?, what do you want? First thing I wanted was to have the suspension taken off the records, I wanted the Principle to be reported for telling us to”take your child and get out of her school.” I wanted the test scores that she swore to the Assistant Superintendent that she had done(but never could find because the Counselor had such a messy desk and she could not be found to get them for him either!). We never found the scores until later. It was a verbal test done by the Counties Gifted teacher. Who said in her opinion, he was not in the gifted catagorie. So, we found another school, we were given all that we requested. The first few weeks of school every teacher that came in contact with Dylan asked if he had been tested for the “gifted” program…we told them yes. So they went to get the results from the Gifted teacher. She said that he did not have the scores to put him in there. They were in disbelief….he had them in awe with his intelligence. He was on Retilin and was doing great, except he had crying spells every Monday…it turned out that he was not on the Retilin on week-ends. The Dr’s orders were to give it to him , just for school. It made him very emotional…the teacher was so upset by this that she asked that he be taken off the Medication. She wanted to try it without the Retilin. So, that is where we are now. He is having trouble getting settled in doing his work. It is affecting his grades. They are not understanding that the Medication kept him able to focus and stay focused on his work. He is having trouble with Math, but can read like everything! Next week it may be the otherway around. This is so hard to figure out. I think the people that we are dealing with mean well and want to do what is right for Dylan ,but they do not understand this condition or disorder. I say this not to put them down, but they want to make these kids act and be like the other kids. It is not possible from all that I can understand about ADD. Dylan is not the only Grandson that I have that has ADD, we have one with ADDHD and another with ADD like Dylan. They have had their share of trouble too. It is not being addressed in this area like it should. We have had to fight all the way for these kids. The most often thing that they come up with is ….you must let us spank them….They don’t have a clue about these kids. You could spank them till they can’t walk and the same impulsiveness will be back tommorrow. They are all above average in intelligence…Skyler, who is the one with ADDHD was sent to the office for being bad , he was in kindergarten. When he arrived in the Principles Office, she asked what are you here for? He told her, it says here that I would not sit down. She asked him how he knew what it said, he told her because he read it…She called the teacher and asked if he could read…she did not know, but she would try and see when he got back down to the classroom. She was so excited to see that he could read…they sent him to the pre-school to read stories to the ‘little” kids. He and Dylan are in the 2nd grade this year and are reading on nearly the same level. Skyler still has not been given the chance to be tested and a IEP set up. They keep saying that he is not elligible. Yet, he is always in trouble, they were asking everyday “Did you take your Medicine today?”….”It is not working, your Mom needs to take you back to the Dr. and get it changed” My Daughter had to call the school, ask them not to ask him that or make those remarks in front of the other kids. It was so embarrassing to Skyler. Self esteem is such a big issue here. Adults that are in the posisition to make or break these kids are so ill-informed that they can not help them. It makes me wonder about these boys and girls that shoot up their schools and fellow students. Were these kids put in the hall so that everyone could pass by and make fun?…..Were they asked everyday “Did you take your Medicine today?” If the people that teach , teachers would educate them in recognizing kids with problems and to get them help, not single them out and belittle them we may be able to stop some of these shootings. We can trace this disorder back a couple of generations, no one knew then what to call it….but the symtoms were there just the same. I am afraid that there are at least 2 more of my grandson’s with this. They are going down the same road. They have the same brightness, they are so “busy” and the attention span is short. So that will be 5 out of 7 with it. I hope you can use some of this info to get the message out. We are just having to fight our way along. If this can be made out front, maybe the powers that be will get it…..We need all the help we can get….Thanks so much, Raye Jones
3021 Dee Hicks Rd
Altoona Ala, 35952
[email protected]

I wrote an article that ran in several newspapers in the washington D metropolitan area entitled “A Parent’s Struggle”.. I’d like to mail you a copy. Please forward a mailing address.

Dear Mrs. Jones,
PLEASE visit my web site! Http;//specialedmom.homestead.com/index.html. I have two boys,and if you didn’t mention Alabama,I would of thought you were my mom,and my kids were your grandsons! My point,is my children are almost identical to your boys. They are gifted/ld/adhd. Having the very same problems as you did,I fought the school system for many years,in doing this I wound up finding out so much stuff that I put it together on a website. These children have rights! Personally I would notify my state dept of education and the office of civil rights. The school is in violations of the boys civil rights.

Although our experience was a number of years ago, so Mrs. Jones does not feel so alone, I have attached a copy of a letter I submitted to the California LDA Gram publication a while ago. As mentioned, years have now passed, our son is doing great, completing his first year at a local JC, he is working around his school hours, and advocating for himself. We went through hell as a family, and to this day have to resist all desire to throw rocks through the district headquarter’s windows :)

By the way, we had no computer, access to internet or bb’s like this one, the ld community of parents has come a long way (baby). You should check out the sites like Socks’ and others, the legal ones like www.wrightslaw.com, www.edlaw.com etc… other parents also have great sites with much to offer. The main thing to remember, is you aren’t alone (but by God, when we were in the thick of things, we sure felt that way).

Anyway, (one more time), here it goes…

Attn: LDA, State of CA
GRAM PUBLICATION OPEN LETTER TO PARENTS

Re: What was learned from the nightmare of a Learning Disabled Parent of a Learning Disabled Child attempt to obtain a FAPE in our local district.

To Whom It May Concern:

First, I ask your patience, because I, like my son, have a learning disability. I have difficulty with handwriting, so I always type. Typing makes the words legible, spell check makes the paper presentable, however, unfortunately, they have yet to invent the program to unscramble the word processing of a dyslexic mind.

Anyone who has lived through / survived the hellish experience of help seeking within the public school system for a child will know that this letter has the capacity for a 1000 page novel; I will do my best to be brief.

Our son was diagnosed with “LD” by the public school Psychologist in the 1st Grade. He was given an IEP, which was to begin his 2nd Grade year. By the 3rd Grade, with minimal and no provision of the services specified on his IEP, our son was floundering terribly. His areas of deficit were dysgraphia, dyslexia and other assorted invisible disorders, which clearly affected his performance in school.

By the second month of his 4th Grade year, having no RSP (as specified on his IEP), and no Counseling (as specified on his IEP), our son tried to slam his head through a window at home. He told us, with tears streaming down his face that he would rather die than go back to school, “where the teachers did not understand, and the kids were so mean about this handwriting”. He was 9 years old.

My wife and I sought help from the school; and the rest is documented history. Of course, it is also documented that the school claimed he was doing fine in class, the problems were coming from the home.

We (my wife and I) attended countless IEP Meetings (with and without advocates), we have attended Mediation Conferences (with and without advocates), I have represented my son in State level Due Process Hearings, and I have represented our son, alone, in Federal Court.

I know what it is like to be a learning disabled parent, seeking protection for our learning disabled son from a system that allows a school district to hire the representation of a “consultant” whose sole purpose is to keep the district from providing those services which are due the child by law. (I could go on and on about this one extremely unfair practice that is tolerated, the fact is, everyone knows this happens, and the child is still left without help, unless the parents can afford the services of costly consultants or attorneys).

I know what it is like to have an inexperienced advocate intervene and represent our son at Due Process Hearing, and have to sit back and watch an absolute kangaroo court in progress, while the Dean of the McGeorge School of Law presided.

Perhaps I need to digress for a moment and explain that during this time I was working, and unemployed at times, in the construction industry here in Southern California. It is common knowledge in the business world for sub-contractors to be loyal to the general contractor; the reason is simple, future contracts mean more guaranteed income. Even in the blue-collar world of construction, it would be abundantly clear that if the “inspector” worked for the General Contractor, the quality of homes could be jeopardized by the “partial” decisions made by a biased inspector. How obvious must it be for a law school like McGeorge School of Law to be a contractor with the State Department of Education to side in behalf of school districts whenever possible?

In June of 1991 McGeorge’s Year to Date Statistics show that the total number of Due Process Hearing Decisions rendered, parents did not obtain the services they fought for in Due Process 70% of the time!

If the hearing Officer finds the district to be within compliance, then the State does not have to enforce any “laws”, because there was no violation! This is absolutely ludicrous. The burden is entirely on the parent, and the power is entirely in the system.

I speak from experience. I will gladly provide a list of all the names and numbers of “protective agencies”, government employees, political figures etc., who were well aware of our son’s predicament. This is not limited to, but includes Chief Liaison to President Clinton, the Federal Dept. of Ed, State Dept. of Ed., Protection and Advocacy, the Governor’s Office, Congressmen, Assemblypersons, Senators, local agencies, OSEPS, OSERS, Office for Civil Rights (the list is endless)… The bottom line is there is no help, only a terribly tangled web of beaurocracy the feeds off of our taxes, and is simply impotent, inept and incapable of enforcing the laws that were written to protect children. The blatant and total failures of these public officials to enforce protections is disappoint, to say the least; corruption of this magnitude would not go on, if it were not tolerated at the higher levels.

I have scores of letters I sent to attorneys and agencies (and their responses) from across the country, begging for help for our son. My only request was to either enforce the law and provide him the FAPE he required, or release him from the system, and provide us with the funding to ensure he be educated and not destroyed.

One of LDA-CA’s past presidents, Joan Esposito, had written a GRAM which clearly outlined the problems parents like us have experienced. She is one of the only ones who understood the frustrations of what we were going through. (I can only imagine that she has an entire file cabinet with our son’s name on it!) I continue to thank God for her strength and compassion for our kids. The gauntlet is excruciating, the retaliatory actions of a school district are disgusting, and designed to exhaust parents. Our son’s last “active IEP” was his 4th Grade IEP, which was never enforced. He is currently going into the 10th Grade!

After 6 years of attempting to “right the wrong”, and taking both the local school district and the state dept. of Ed “to task”, I have only learned that I could do the impossible for our son. That was to survive the stress of war, stay married to his mother, see that he finally get an appropriate education (outside of the system), and move on with our life.

I have since passed on my “law library”, a virtual war chest of cases, laws and protections for learning disabled children to a local (San Diego) advocate. She has my permission to copy and pass along any and all data I compiled; including phone numbers, addresses etc. My hope and prayer is some other parents may get the help our son never received. It was quite a paradox to find all the protections, and rights our child had, yet been completely incapable of finding any authority to enforce the law!

My wife and I went to a leading “special education attorney and we begged for her to help; she felt to “untangle this case at this stage” it would cost an estimated $70,000.00, at least. It might as well have been $70,000,000.00, if you can imagine the devastating news to hear such a proposal. The up front money was to be a minimum of $15,000.00. I don’t know about anyone reading this letter, but that is a substantial amount of money which we did not / do not have! It is probably noteworthy to mention that there are not very many lawyers who specialize in the highly complex field of special education law; and those that do, usually work for school districts and the states, those that don’t are extremely expensive!

Out of necessity for our son, I virtually became the closest anyone will probably come to being a lay-lawyer in the highly specialized field of Special Education Law. For over 2 years, I stood alone, as a parent, in Federal Court, without an attorney, and did the best I could. With my wife’s help, we won some Motions, lost a few, and even had Court Decisions OVERTURNED, without help from attorneys! Truly, I will admit that the damage and suffering of such battles was more psychological and detrimental to peaceful family existence, and the fall out was financial, emotional destruction. It was as close to divorce and stress that I will ever hope to experience for the rest of my life.

Ultimately, the Federal Court Judge Ordered me to find an attorney for our son, because, if I did not, he said that our son’s case would lose at the Appeals level, due to the child not being properly represented in Court. What an irony, even if we could have won at the first level, they would have had it overturned because of how he was represented. Again, after an exhaustive search, we finally located a young, fresh out of Law School attorney, who offered to represent our son “pro bono”. Remember, we had been in Federal Court for over a year prior to her having even graduated from Law School! Within 3 months, our son’s case was closed, and the State Dept. of Ed and the local school district were absolved of any responsibilities.

I believe it is important that you understand the following, which is of public record in the Federal Court system in Southern California:

1. The District admitted to not providing services on our son’s IEPs.
2. The District could not provide original copies of documents where my name was added to agreements. (Reviewed by a documents fraud examiner).
3. The District failed to properly diagnose our son’s disabilities.
4. The District contracted a Dr. (for $14,000.00, on record)) to diagnose our son during the pending court case, to determine “what would have been appropriate 3 years past; when this same district had tested him 7 times within 12 months during the time in question.
5. State level investigations were useless.
6. OCR findings were biased and inaccurate.
7. McGeorge School of Law hearing transcripts are of record, and the Hearing Officer’s failure to acknowledge or address blatant violations of Special Ed Laws are abundant.
8. Numerous other violations of Education Law were proven clearly on Court Records.
9. Our son NEVER had another “active” IEP from the time when we filed for Due Process; the two parties (parents and district) could never come to agreement, so…

Our son’s case ended over a year ago. The scars my wife and I carry may never go away. Time is the healer and seeing our son doing well as a soon to be 10th Grader is the soothing ointment to assure us we did the right thing. He has no IEP, he gets no special help, and he is working very hard. He is alive, healthy and we are grateful. We stood by our child and did what we thought we had to do, protect him at all cost.

Adding insult to injury, after the case was closed, we received legal documents from the school district’s attorneys’, attempting to bill us for the legal costs they incurred! Some of these costs included the depositions they took of our son’s “expert witnesses”, a document fraud examiner and a Neuropsychologist; both who are highly qualified specialists. These testimonies clearly demonstrate among other issues the district’s blatant failures to diagnose our son’s disabilities, their (district’s) inability to explain how my signature ended up on a copy of an education contract that I had refused to sign. The irony is the district DID NOT enter these depositions as evidence after their attorneys deposed these witnesses, I DID!

My advice to anyone who will listen. If you are an advocate, thank you for your strength, courage and perseverance, and for trying to help protect our children. To you parents, until there are drastic changes in how the laws are enforced, do what you have to do to save your child. Our experience dictates that it might be wiser to pull your child and put him/her in a safe non-public environment as soon as possible. The money will be more effectively spent there, and less stress placed upon your family.

You see, for those of us who do not have a lot of money, we need to determine where best to spend the limited resources we have on what we find to be most precious to us, our kids. Moreover, for those who have enough money for attorneys and consultants why would they spend it on fighting a system? They can afford the tutoring, counselors, private educations…

Absolute power corrupts, and all the laws in the world are useless, until they are enforced. God bless you Joan, Mary Ann, Chris, Sandy, Adele (retired), and the rest of you advocates who fight for our kids!

Sincerely,

Andy

Ps/ Everything we experienced is of public record; I wish (pray) to God somebody had the time, money and courage to look at what clearly was the “Anatomy of a Public School’s Failure”. What has happened to my family, and specifically to our child, is the story of one; however, it will clearly show what happens to all who get involved and try to help a child (anyone’s child).