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Just what does this word mean?

Submitted by an LD OnLine user on

My daughter’s school has come up with a new label for my daughter. It is “oppositional”. Now while I’m pretty sure that I know the meaning of this word, I am trying to figure out how it relates to my child. She may be alot of things, but oppositional is not one of them! I truly believe that her school has sunk to a new low.

Can someone please give me a definition as it relates to LD’s regarding this word?

Thank you.

Submitted by Anonymous on Thu, 05/03/2001 - 2:35 PM

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Oppositional behavior means the kiddo is opposing what she’s asked to do. The teacher should be able to document specific examples of the behavior s/he considers “oppositional” — so I would ask for those specifics. Even better would be a formal behavior assessment by an observer who can try to ferret out what’s leading up to whatever behaviors the teacher(s?) considers oppositional, too… and then figure out how to work with the teacher & kid so it doesn’t happen.

Submitted by Anonymous on Thu, 05/03/2001 - 2:46 PM

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Are they saying that she has ODD which is Oppositional Defiant Disorder? or just that she is oppositional? please either e-mail me or post your message.

Submitted by Anonymous on Thu, 05/03/2001 - 4:52 PM

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Leigh they are saying that she is being oppositional. The don’t say that she has ODD. They’d better not even THINK of saying that because she does not have ODD!

She has been having trouble with one teacher in particular who has choosen to pick on her (I know this is true because I’ve taken it to the principal and the teacher has admitted it) so I’m thinking that she is reacting to his behavior and they are calling it oppositional. I can’t say that her reacting in this way is correct but I can also say that I don’t really blame her for acting this way.

Thanks Leigh

Submitted by Anonymous on Thu, 05/03/2001 - 6:07 PM

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Oppositional behavior is challenging behavior. Sometimes students with learning disabilities may appear to be oppositional when, in fact, they cannot do something because they don’t understand what to do or how to do it, or even where to begin. What specifically did your daughter refuse to do? JJ

Submitted by Anonymous on Thu, 05/03/2001 - 7:08 PM

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yes well that is a lot better. I thought that you were saying that she was ODD. My daughter has trouble with the other students who get her going and get her into trouble. They in turn it around to where she is the one at fault. they are quick enough to lie their way out of it and she will just tell you like it is. but if she is only having trouble with one teacher in particular then maybe they can move her to another class or something but don’t give up. some teachers have a really hard time dealing or excepting special needs children. and before I get a bunch of hate letters from teachers I know that some are hard to deal with, and I know that there are alot out there that care for special needs children, but there are some who just don’t understand them and label them. I have worked in the public school district caring in a Mentally retarded classroom, I have taken care of 2 autistic boys and one that had numerous problem including ODD and it is not easy but it takes a special type of person to deal with these children. my daughter is mild mr, but she doesn’t look or sometimes even act that way. she is active in sports and other activities, but we still have a lot of problems with the school and the very small school that she goes to because she has that “label”

Submitted by Anonymous on Fri, 05/04/2001 - 12:50 AM

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Leigh, I’m sure a lot of us have heard words like this before. Oppositional, defiant (gak! My all time LEAST favorite word), willful, spoiled……whenever someone suggests my son is any of these, I am in that room observing.

Submitted by Anonymous on Sat, 05/05/2001 - 5:16 AM

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How many times have children with LD and ADHD been falsely accused of being lazy, careless, spoiled, uncooperative, unmotivated, fooling around, goofing off, refusing to work, refusing to listen and pay attention and concentrate, refusing to apply themselves, refusing to make an effort, refusing to try, etc., etc., etc.? Of course I haven’t been around any of the children mentioned on this thread, so I can’t give any informed opinions, but I rather suspect this is yet another case of falsely accusing the child of being willfully defiant and bad when he really has a physical, yet invisible, disability.

I should like to add another twist to this thread, if I may. In times past, such accusations were quite common, and punishments were frequent, both at home and at school (as was failure itself). Now, supposedly, parents and schools are more enlightened about LD and less quick to assume character flaws if a child is struggling. In truth, to what extent do you all think that is true? How many more teachers and principals are enlightened enough to consider LD when a child is failing, and how many are still hard-liners who accuse the child of having a motivational problem? It would be most interesting to know today’s percentages.

Yours truly,
Kathy G.

Submitted by Anonymous on Sat, 05/05/2001 - 12:29 PM

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Carla,

If I’m not mistaken, the school simply cannot unilatterally come up with a new lable for a child without following proper procedures.

You need to get all of this documented and pursue how all this has come about.

For a child to be “labeled” as such, it would seem at the very least an IEP meeting was held and ALL TEAM MEMBERS (which includes you) agree to this AFTER it is determined to be so.

How was this determined? If a teacher has said so, then I would inquire and request documentation to establish the teacher’s credentials for being able to make such a determination.

Furthermore, in order to really find out what is going on with your child, it should be discussed first (at an IEP Meeting), then a qualified individual (psychologist or otherwise) should observe her in the setting and provide feedback, and finally, to confirm suspicions, if it is going to affect your daughter’s IEP, she needs to be assessed in the suspected area (by someone qualified) and the results then reviewed and discussed in another IEP Meeting.

I also would also consider asking in writing and request a written response as to what the word means. If not, either by their refusal or your discomfort, make darn sure you tape record the next IEP Meeting, and ask all to please give you their interpretation of what the word means. You will find with enough people in the room, you will get different and possibly conflicting answers. It only matters based on what their definition is, not your interpretation, remember this.

In short, it is not the label even that is the issue, it is what does this label mean in regards to your child, her education program, her records and how it effects her future education etc. etc. etc.

It might behoove you to inquire to look into her records, make this request in writing, and be sure to ask for all records, documents etc… and see what pops up there.

Don’t get depressed, but do stay alert, and if you haven’t already, begin to document everything. Eliminate conversations, or at least follow up with letters confirming what you understood was said. Request that communication be done in writing to you at home and you will respond in kind. No phone calls to the home, request that all contact be done via letter, fax, e mail… Keep record of all contact. Be specific in your writing, respectful and pleasant, and above all else, tough as it is, remove all emotion and just work with facts and go from there.

Good luck.

Andy

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