Frustration in the LD child, how do you deal with it

We have dealt with this issue in our now 8 year old son. How old is your child and how does the frustration manifest itself? We had the worst problems when he was a preschooler. Of course, we didn’t know it was auditory processing problems.

Practical experience, and hindsight suggest:

With love, patience, kindness and understanding (easy to say, I know).

Educating yourself as best as possible as to how the ld manifests itself in your child, and then become aware of how it surfaces. Be careful not to fall into the trap of oversight and get frustrated yourself.

Take breathers.

Find things the child excels at and finds fun and work with as many positive experiences as possible to build a strong, positive self image.

Working with the current age bracket and forward from here and try to explain, point out, in ways that your child will understand regarding how he/she is perceiving things and affected by his/her ld. Do not get caught in describing the ld as a deficit or a detriment, but simply a different form of thought process and information retreival… people are different, not stupid or dumb. As your child gets older, this should get easier.

Hope some of this helps (even a little).

Andy

Dear Andy,
Thank you! I appreciate the advice!
Heather

Dear Beth ,
She is 10 years old and will become frustrated if she doesn’t understand something. It ususally occurs if she’s tired. Any thoughts on how to handle it when she starts to become frustrated? Obviously, we try to not let her get overtired, but, sometimes that is not possible.
Thank you for any thoughts you have.
Heather

Heather,

Do you mean following conversations? Or how to do something like math problems? Or both?

If she has trouble following conversations, I’d have her checked out for CAPD. My son has it and we did a program called Fast Forward last summer which drastically improved his ability to follow conversations.

The how to do something is tougher. My son sometimes just has a fit. I have found prevention is the best medicine. He is eight but we have him in bed by about 8:15 which helps. We try to do difficult tasks when he isn’t tired. We sometimes give up and do it tomorrow. I also have learned to read hiim so that I know when it is going to be too much. Then I help. I don’t push him on decoding words he doesn’t know. I have typed spelling words ect. When he starts melting down, it ain’t a pretty sight and it really doesn’t do anybody any good.

I have also found that consistent routines and expectations help. My son has to read to me for a 1/2 hour a day. That was hard at first but now he really doesn’t balk. If I know he is tired, I pick an easier book. Still he has built up his tolerance for difficult tasks which helps.

I also remind my son of how far he has come due to hard work. I tell him x used to be hard but it really isn’t any more is it.

No magical solutions, however.

Beth

We also got the school to back off on homework but that’s another story.

Beth

How did you accomplish getting the school to back off on homework, thet would not give any homework modifications.

They will when we write this new IEP, I’m hiring an advocate for the second time in 5 years.

Thanks for any info
Marellen

Well, I started out informally. I told his regular teacher that one book report a week was too much for him. I told her he would be doing one every other week. Realize he is in sp. ed for both language arts and math so there wasn’t a whole lot they could hold over him grade wise.

I then tried to work with the special ed teacher. Her homework was taking two hours a night. I was unsuccessful and called the director of exceptional education. At that time, I basically told them he wasn’t doing the spelling words because they were inappropriate for him. He couldnt’ read the words much less spell them. I then brought up his math homework at his IEP meeting. The rest of the staff basically told his special ed teacher she had to give him less homework. She got defensive and mad but they wouldn’t let it go. In response, I’m sure, she hasn’t given him any homework since. At the same meeting, I informally talked to his regular teacher and did away with all assignments, except at our discretion, there. It is lovely.

We are working at home with him and we are having much more success.

As you can see, we didn’t get anything by being nice. My basic line was that until he can read, the rest of this has no point.