confused

What about a tutor to help with the homework while you are at work. Would there be a structured enviroment for her at school where she can do her work without being distracted? I would also suggest the use of an assitive listening device to help her pay attention in the classroom. A pediatrician was telling me today how Ritalin works well for his son but when they tried adderall their son was really quiet and withdrawn so maybe the medication is the problem too. If you get the correct medication and behavior modification with struture you should see improvement at home and school. I can just imagine how tired you must feel after working all day and having two hours of homework to complete with your child on top of everything else..

As you’re willing to consider medication to help your daughter to deal with her challenges, you might consider medicaitons other than Ritalin. Ritalin is only one of several medications available to help with ADD/ADHD. Does your daughter’s doctor know the Ritalin didn’t work for her? Your doctor should be able to work with you to figure out what would work for her.

In the meantime, there is a difference between incomplete regular assignements and homework. Each child is a part of a class and every day a class completes certain tasks and moves on to the next. It can be hard for a child to move on unless the day’s tasks have been completed even if that’s done at home. Homework, strictly speaking, is work that was assigned to be specifically done at home.

But I find two hours a night of incompleted work to be somewhat unbelievable and to me it feels like some of that two hours of work has to be traditional homework.

If you could, you might consider taking a day off from work to visit your daughter’s class and observe. Watch the day’s tasks and see what happens. See how much she gets done of each task. That night you should know very well where the work came from and if it really is incomplete regular assignments or homework.

Does your daughter have an IEP? I don’t know much about IEPs but it might be possible through an IEP to have your daughter’s nightly work modified to better fit her needs.

Good luck.

Regarding the homework that has been sent home, the teachers and principal at my childs school had agreed to reduced assignments inorder to reduce her frustration. The agreement was if 10 questions are assigned then giver her half and slowly build from there. This was in December and the teachers have never followed this agreement. I have requested an educational assessment for her and was refused by the principal. He said that my daughter is very capable of handling the work. Her class is a split grade 3/4 with only eight third grade students. She has a morning and afternoon teacher and also the EQAO testing teacher as well as her daily french teacher. I find this to be more confusing for her. There are personality conflicts between her and one of the teachers. During parent interview, the teacher was pulling her hair when discussing her frustration with the inability for her to sit still and complete her assignment. My daughter was then isolated in at the back of the class. Her medication was also being given to her in her class instead of the office as it should have been. The school has told me they can not provide the help I have requested including the specialty teacher. What should I do?

Regarding the homework that has been sent home, the teachers and principal at my childs school had agreed to reduced assignments inorder to reduce her frustration. The agreement was if 10 questions are assigned then giver her half and slowly build from there. This was in December and the teachers have never followed this agreement. I have requested an educational assessment for her and was refused by the principal. He said that my daughter is very capable of handling the work. Her class is a split grade 3/4 with only eight third grade students. She has a morning and afternoon teacher and also the EQAO testing teacher as well as her daily french teacher. I find this to be more confusing for her. There are personality conflicts between her and one of the teachers. During parent interview, the teacher was pulling her hair when discussing her frustration with the inability for her to sit still and complete her assignment. My daughter was then isolated in at the back of the class. Her medication was also being given to her in her class instead of the office as it should have been. The school has told me they can not provide the help I have requested including the specialty teacher. What should I do?

Hi,
Do you have a diagnosis from a psych dr.? Did you put your request to the principal in writing and send by certified mail? Do you have any advocacy services in your area that can assist you? Did you put the agreement in writing with signatures from the teachers? A friend of mine had their child tested independently at their cost and showed results to the school. THAT got their attention and services required. Eventually, the school reimbursed the cost since they were proven to be wrong. Good luck, Diane

Thanks Diane. No I didn’t have a written agreement. I had several meetings with the school and have since written to the school board. They have no desire to change anything at this point. The assessment was done by a psych doctor and letter was then sent to the school with the suggestion of possible medication implementation and school and teacher support recommendations. They don’t seem to care. I become more frustrated with the lack of support everyday. What else can I do?

With the school being so uncooperative, my advice is for you to go up a level. Whether it is a city or count y school, there is a Coordinator of Disability Services for your school board. Contact that person, you should be able to reach them by calling the local board of education, and let them know what is going on, how uncooperative the school is being and how dissatisfied you are with them. If that doesn’t change anything, put in a call to your state coordinator. I know most things need to be done in writing so you have a copy for your records, but I did this by calling and keeping a log book of the calls.

Get all agreements in writing. IEP, 504 plan, or just a written and signed note from a school official will work. Keep a folder for all correspondence with the school. Get a letter from your child’s doctor requesting that she be evaluated by the school. The school cannot argue with a doctor’s order in writing. And again, keep a folder for coopies of things like this from the doctor. The nost famous excuse I have heard of from schools is, “I’m sorry, I could not find it in the file.”

And remember that your child has the right to her dignity also. You can force the school to allow her to leave class and go to the office to take her meds so she won’t have to be embarassed or be singled out in front of the whole class to take her them. Put a request in writing, keeping a copy for yourself, that simply says you would prefer for your child to go to the office to take medications at school. If that doesn’t work, get that in writing from her doctor also.

I would also consider having your child placed in a class that consisted of all children in the same grade next year. Having two different classes going on simulatneously has to be causing more distraction than a regular classroom with everyone on the same page at the same time.

As for the homework issue, you may want to do what I did for my son. He was doing homework from the time he got home from school until seven at night every night. I got fed up and had him do a part of every page and signed off on the bottom with the time he started and the time he finished on each sheet so the teacher could see just how much time he was spending on homework. After the first coulpe of days of this she realized it was too much and toned it down herself. It is now part of his IEP.

Good Luck and God Bless,

Crystal

I suggest that you become hyper-organized in documenting each and every meeting and discussion you have with your child’s teachers and school administrators. This means:
1. After every meeting, you write a letter (or e-mail) to everyone who attended the meeting stating a) the purpose of the meeting (e.g., discuss my child’s current difficulties in completing her homework), b) summary of the opinions expressed (teacher: she needs a quiet, consistent homework time at home; parent: she is spending more than 2 hours every night without completing it), and c) any tasks or steps that the people who attended the meeting agreed to undertake (e.g., teacher: will cut back on the homework and write daily observations on child’s in-class performance; parent: will set aside the hour after dinner for focused homework help with child).
2. If you run into a situation in which you feel your child’s teacher or principal is not undertaking the tasks or steps they agreed to do, write a letter (with copy to teacher or principal) to their superior describing your frustration and requesting a meeting.
3. Keep a file with all of the paperwork, including your letters and any responses you receive from the school. If the school ever wants a copy, never give them the original (they may lose it or fail to give it back to you).

We found that merely writing letters summarizing our meetings helped to resolve a lot of confusion going on between the school counselor and us, as parents. We would come out of meetings with one understanding of what was said and the counselor would have a completely different view. Before we started writing letters, the principal was only hearing the counselor’s side of the story. By putting it all down in letters (“The purpose of this letter is to confirm our understanding of our meeting on …”), the principal was able to intervene and help fix the problem. It also puts in black and white the commitments (and time schedule) the school staff makes verbally during the meetings. (In our case, the counselor would tell us that she would set up appointments for testing for our son and then never follow through).

I think writing letters also creates a paper trail that a bureaucracy responds to. You get the school’s and principal’s attention that you’re not going to back off of getting the help for your child that you know you need.

Finally, if you should ever have to get a lawyer’s help, you’ll have a paper trail documenting all of your requests and efforts to work within the school system.

Good luck. My heart goes out to you having to take on this struggle as a single, working mom and my prayers will be with you.

First, it is your right to have your daughter tested by the school. Second, if she is unable to stay in her seat and pay attention then she won’t be able to finish her classwork in class. The teacher should be able to see the difficulty and respond accordingly.(apparently they aren’t though) Your daughter isn’t trying to not do the work, she has adhd and it is affecting her ability to concentrate on the work. Third, I have been involved with 4 schools in 3 states and 2 countries and the only persons qualified to give meds are the school nurse and the office personnel. I always had to fill out a form with the dr signature. The 4th thing is the meds. My son is on Ritalin however I am taking Wellbutrin, ask your dr to try a different med. If you can find a med that works for her that will probly do her a world of good. I know my son w/out meds in school would only be writing his name on the paper while his classmates are half finished with the assignment.Good luck and best wishes.

I’m a little confused too. Does your daughter have an IEP? Is reduced work and/or reduced homework on her IEP? If it is, they’re in violation of her IEP and the advice you got from another poster as to going up a level makes sense to me.

If your daughter doesn’t have a formal IEP, then you’re a bit at their mercy and you might want to think about getting her one. I’d also think about getting back in touch with her doctor as it sounds as if her distractability is significant.

I also don’t think they can refuse to do an educational assessment on her but you might want to post that question and see what other better informed parents think. I think that if you request an assessment in writing, at some point the school is obligated by law to do it.

Until, one way or the other, you can get the school to do something, I guess you have to ask the hard question… what’s second best? As like many of us you work outside the home, homeschooling would be difficult. Your daughter is likely to remain in this school so you want to build bridges, not tear them down. Unless you can a find a friendly insider - someone who take your side at the school - you might have to figure out which is worse for the meantime - doing the two hours of homework or having her face the music when she goes in to school without it done.

I did and do hours of homework with my son every night and I absolutely hate it. It’s taken over our lives but I haven’t found my way out of this one.

I hope you do. Good luck.

Hi Leah,
If you want to try going all the way to the top, here is a website for you in D.C.. www.ed.gov/offices/OSERS/OSEP/Staff.html. The address, room numbers and phone numbers are listed. Ask them where to go for help in your state and why. Good luck, Diane

Hello Leah,

Just last night I attended a Parent Workshop on ADD/ADHD given by our local SELPA office (Special Education Local Plan Area). What you need to request is a 504 Plan this is Federally mandated under the Americans With Disabilities ACT. Your child may not qualify for Special Ed. services but under this act does have a right to have her school make appropriate accommodations and modifications to her school work, homework, testing of any type and to keep her self-esteem up. The best place for you to begin getting help is with your district, call and ask for the Director of Special Education or a Program Specialist. I am the parent of a LD child, the step-mother of a child with ADHS and I also work for the local SELPA office…Good Luck

My daughter attends a parochial school in N. CA. She has auditory processing
issues and ADD - inattentive based on an evaluation done by a pediatric phsycologist and an audiologist specializing in CAPD. My daughter is failing 2nd grade due to the above issues (biggest one is she is unable to finish her work due to her unability to stay focused and distractibility, poor vocabulary, poor expressive/receptive language skills). A friend mentioned the program SELPA the other day but didn’t have much info. on it. My daughter’s school does not provide any special services and recently said they feel that they are no longer able provide my daughter with educational services. (In other words - find another school). It is important to me that my kids (I have 3) attend a parochial school (because of the religious aspect).
I want her to stay at this school but where do I go to get her help? Is the program SELPA for all children or only those who attend public schools?

Thanks for your time and answers!

A Frustrated and Desperate Mom