I want to homeschool my daughter but because my separation/divorce agreement states that both of us must be in agreement as to her schooling, and my ex-husband is not, she has to stay in public school for now. I went to family court today to file papers but that will take weeks to even get a hearing.
My question is this. Because I have no choice in the matter I feel like I should hold the school responsible, why, I don’t know as she has been there for almost 4 years and every single test score has fallen from the previous IEP which was three years ago. What if anything would any of you do in regards to holding the school, and my ex-husband for that matter to any kind of responsibility?
Does this question make any sense to any of you?!
Or do you have any suggestions such as been there done that kind of story to tell me?
Thank you.
Re: I need some advice please.
Thanks for the information but I’m not sure what you mean when you say that you can’t make anyone take responsibility for someone else’s well being. Isn’t that what we are doing when we entrust our children to the public school system or even a babysitter for that matter? If someone isn’t responsible for her well being then why bother sending her to school? They need to be held accountable it would seem.
Re: I need some advice please.
Responsibility isn’t something you can prove, it has to come from inside. A babysitter is basically responsible for keeping his/her charges safe for a few hours… a whole lot simpler than teaching for years.
I only said you can’t make people do it… I did not say that there weren’t teachers at the school who did take that responsibility — and that’s a key to your kid’s success, finding out who they are and working with them. But if there are people who really are just concerned with the legalities — and I’ve worked for some of ‘em — that’s right, you cannot make them look past “have I covered my backside” and make sure that what they’re doing is really what the kid needs. In fact, when they think they’re being “Held accountable” what lots of them do is take time away from their real responsibilities to do more paperwork to cover their backsides.
Trying to hold folks accountable keeps you busy and maybe keeps you feeling good (because hey, they’re the ones that *aren’t* being responsible, you are) — but in the meantime, instead of focusing on the kid’s needs, you’re focusing on those other people not being responsible so the kid gets the short end of the stick.
SOmetimes, they think they are being responsible, too — they honestly believe that what they’re doing *is* the best they can do for that kid. This is where going out to find out what they can do and presenting it to them comes in.
Re: Here's what I would do....
This site is a great source of information about how to deal with schools. If you go to the “LD in Depth” section of the website and read up on “assessments” and “I.E.P.” you’ll find some good information about what you can legitimately ask for, what you can get, how you can negotiate in meetings, how you can find an advocate to help you, etc. I would use this and other sources on the internet to become really well-informed, so that you (1) know what your daughter needs, (2) know how far the school can go in meeting those needs, and (3) negotiate effectively to get the optimal kind of help that the school can provide.
I would also research ways that you can help your daughter at home. One of the things I would do is negotiate heavily for reduced or eliminated homework for your daughter — to free up time to work one-on-one with an adult tutor. (I wouldn’t necessarily tell them the tutor is you.)
If reading is a problem, then I would look into getting the book Reading Reflex ($16) and doing that for a half-hour per day at home. If math facts are a problem, I’d look into getting Math Facts the Fun Way ($44 for a multiplication tutoring kit, http://www.citycreek.com) and Quartermile Math software (http://www.thequartermile.com) — and plan on doing 10-20 minutes of math drill 5 times a week. If math concepts are a problem, I’d order a set of appropriate-level books from Singapore Math (they have placement tests on the site) and spend 40 minutes on that every day (about $30 for a half-year’s worth of books).
The biggest problem with doing after-schooling with your daughter is that it might make the school look too good. If at all possible, I would try to get extensive testing done through the school system (or even just get an Iowa test done privately) to establish exactly what her levels are before you start after-schooling. You can test again at the end of the school year, and again after summer vacation (we do a lot of homeschooling during the summer), and drag out these test results to compare with the school’s test results. At least you would have data to support your position down the line, and might even win over your ex- without going to court.
I think it’s unrealistic to count on a school to meet your daughter’s needs, especially when they’ve already shown they are unable (perhaps not necessarily unwilling) to do so. I also think it’s unrealistic to assume you will win in court. That’s why I would look for ways to optimize the situation, given what you have to deal with.
Mary
Re: You would probably want....
to get testing from an independent source. It wouldn’t necessarily have to be the Iowa — that’s just the one I’m familiar with. What you want is some kind of achievement testing. It might be possible for you to get it through the school — that would certainly be sufficiently independent!
Are you familiar with IIE’s? You may be able to get an independent evaluation free through your school district. Go to the “LD in Depth” section of this website and check out the articles under “assessments” and “IEP”. Even if you can’t get it free through the school district, you can probably get a list of “approved” independent testers from them.
If all else fails, I would go through the yellow pages and make some phone calls. There are listings here under “Education - Consultants and Services”.
Also, under “psychologists” there will be many who specialize in pediatrics and/or educational testing.
Mary
If you don’t think the school is meeting your daughter’s needs, then figure out what they need to do to meet those needs, and ask them to do that. Just pointing out the sliding test scores won’t be enough.
What should the school be doing that they are not?
Keep in mind that this is probably a rough time for your daughter — so be sensitive to adding stress.
And as for holding anyone responsible, school, husband, whatever… you can only try to hold ‘em responsible for obeying thelaw — for doing what looks like providing a FAPE. You really can’t *make* anybody (even yourself, for that matter!) take responsibility for someone else’s well-being.