I have an Ld daughter in H-School. She reads and rites at a 3 grade level. I have fought , or tried to fight for her for the last 9 years. I feel like all my eforts have not helped as much as they should have. The School has a way of overwhelming me and making everything sound like it will change. The problem being that unless you can go to school with them the changes don’t happen. I am so tired of the s telling me that my daughter should start advocating for herself. I say to them, how do you think that she can advocate for herself when I can not even get you to follow her IEP. I am worried about her future and her being able to get a job after H Schpool. Most all jobs now require some form of higher schooling.
Re: tired of the stress from school
School becomes irrelevant when learning isn’t happening at the rates they require.
You gotta do what the school isn’t and find out how much potential an impaired person has to learn and with “proffessional help” get a prognosis/forecast of how things may br a few years down the line.
Do you know if your daughter ability will exceed the 3rd grade level in say 4 years? Do you know how much improvement is possible. She may not be ready cognitivley for colege now. Perhaps she may never be. perhaps she will.
I found college much easier than the real world. I could accomodate myself in the college setting by taking a lighter load and adjust my schedule a bit so I could avoid over load. Unfortunately the real world is not that flexable. I need more time to do things. Unfortunately in the real world time is money.
I have resigned myself a long time ago that my life is going to suck in a lot of ways.
When people think of disability accomodation they think of ramps and wheel chairs but for us, we need something that requires a little more mental technology
than a ramp and a wheel chair.
Re: tired of the stress from school
beth—
Been there, done that, with the schools for my sons! It gets so tiring. Sometimes I just couldn’t keep fighting the uphill battles. I believe, however, that I did all I reasonably could. I have to find peace in that. It sounds like you are doing all you can reasonably do too!
Regarding your daughter’s future—that’s a tough one. Some of us have been lucky enough to find a place in the real worls, with real jobs, that allow enough flexibility for us. It isn’t always easy. I was fired from my first job—it was a bad fit. Your daughter may have to look more than usual too.
I liked the post by Heather and Eric McGehearty in the “Help!” thread started by “Girl with NLD” in this forum. You may wish to review it.
Barb
Re: tired of the stress from school
beth,
keep your child in school. high school dropouts make 42% less money than students who stayed and got their diplomas. i feel your situation; i was in your shoes when i was a student in high school and wasn’t good at math. my parents stayed on me about my work and i’m now in college with a 3.6 GPA. keep fighting for your daughter and teach her to advocate herself about her disability.
Re: tired of the stress from school
Sometimes, he or she needs to take time to relax and do something fun when going thru so much stress because of a learning disability or some other problem. It’s fine to encourage someone to stay in school, but if staying in school is only making it more stressful for the person- then what’s the point anyway. Yes, that’s true that people who have degrees may have better jobs- but is it worth it to stay in school, get real stressed out, and then get sick because of the stress? Think about that. If a person is under adult age, then he or she doesn’t have much of a say and then that can be real difficult for the child who is experiencing a lot of stress. I’m in college right now, trying once again to get my degree. I am recently divorced, and just the stress of taking care of myself and paying the bills has made it very difficult to keep up with all my assignments. This is why I shared what I shared earlier in this msg. I get so stressed out, end up getting tension headaches. School is great, especially if one doesn’t have a lot on their plate. Think about it!
Hi Beth!!
I hear ya….and feel for you. I too have been fighting the school and school board for my daughter (now in gr.9). She has the same learning challenge as me…but is much less “functioning”. She was given an IEP in gr.6 finally…after years of my trying to get her schools to acknowledge the challenge and help us find a path for her. Also, after 7 years of being on the wait list she was put into a program that was going to help her learn in her own way…and how to learn from different teaching methods. Unfortunetly the school is over an hour away and we have no way of getting there for in-person meetings. The teachers have been told this….and still they get upset with me not “being involved” as much as her records indicate I have been in the past. But of course if the school was reachable I would be there….as it is I still do my research on the net to find ways to work with my D’s challenge. The teachers say she should stay after school for tutoring…but of course HOW would she get home then??? They consider her the one who is challenged???? How come they don’t get it??!!
My daughter just finished writing one mid-term exam earlier today….it was to take only 70 mins…she took over 4 hours even with a teacher re-wording the questions for her. She reads at a gr.3 level while her comprehension of speech and written is even lower. This past sept her school put her into regular curriculm gr.9 without contacting us and discussing it. It was completly against our wishes….and no matter what we say they are ignoring us. They have taken what minimal confidence she had and tramped it out to the point she is suicidal. She is yelled at by her “regular” teacher, who doesn’t want to work with her challenge, until she cries.
We have tried everything possible and still the school/teachers keep blocking our every move.
Anyhow…my point wasn’t to rant. It was to let you know that your not alone and I do empathize.
Lil