help

hi I am a 45 year old I have had learn disabilities all my life. I recently went and got all my records from the board of ED. I was classificaed in1970 with both visually and auditory perception promblem.I have no self esteen now or do I think i ever did. About 3 month ago I started on antdepression they do not seem to be working. MY biggest promblem right now is I need a job. Money is a issue I can not afford any couciling or testing. I do not think I have made any new friends in at least 10 years. I have loss contact with most of my old friend because I couldnt kept up with them, Lawers doctor and nba. Iam married with 3 children. My huband try to be understander but you really cant unless you live this life.Where can I get FREE help in center N J. I have been babysitting for the last 14 year but it has seem to dry up + it isnt fullfilling. I have also been delving news paper for 13 years that has gotten wrost ever year and making less money every year. I get up ever day at 230 amto do that 365 days a year. They got mad at for not deliveing the paper on monday THE 4 biggest snowstrom on record STATE OF Emergancy and they expect me to go out in 40 mile winds and snow. I dont know any one elese that was expect to go to work. I didnt go. This job is putting stress on my married because he feel he has to help me.I cant go on doing this for the rest of my life. Ever one tell me how smart i am . but noone can tell me how to make a living.IF any one knows who to contact for help let me know. Thank you Joanne ps this is my 1 e mail