Research Study-Graduate Student

Hi!

Although I don’t live in Michigan, I was wondering if there was anyway that I could help your research. Your topic is actually something that I have struggled with in both my childhood and adult life. I am 24, a special education teacher, and I have ADHD. If there is anyway that I can help you with your paper, please let me know. I would love to!

Thanks,
Elizabeth J
Fort Worth, TX

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/ADHD_Bulletin_Board/

http://www.chadd.org/

http://www.adhd.com/

Hi. My name is Debbie and I am a 30 year old female living with Adhd moderate type. I do not live where you are at and cannot participate in the study of course, but I would like to answer your question.
Your question interest me because I have recently began realizing that my somewhat poor history in interpersonal relationships with both men and women have been part of a pattern I can now understand to relate to characteristics of someone w/ ADHD. I was diagnosed about a year and a half ago by a psychologist and my doctor at Louisiana State Univ. Now that I have learned more about ADHD, I have been able to understand things a/b myself and why.
Interpersonal relationships have always seemed to be difficult. The wierd part is, is that I am always left feeling, ” What did I do wrong?”. I am not super outgoing, but I am not shy. I don’t feel like I am mean to anyone, yet at work for instance, the girls don’t seem to like me. Some seem to, but I am pretty sure I am not winning in the popularity contest. I do work with numerous young females which is always a place for caddy girls. However, it’s not just there,everywhere. I have friends, the ones who get to know me. And I still hurt their feelings, sometimes argue, ect..The rest, well I seem to give off this “other” perception of myself that I do not try nor wish to give off. I am never rude, yell, curse, belittle, gossip, steal ,ect.. from anyone. I have been employed here 9 years. I note some may be petty stuff, but I know that mostly, its that people misunderstand me.
This seems to be relevant with men also. I am a single mother in school at LSU. I am a forever single. Or I feel like that, and actually happier being single than I have ever been.But, I still have this way of either changing my mind whether I am interested in someone suddenly or they are telling me that I don’t give them enough attention, that I hurt their feelings, blah, blah, blah.OK maybe I am too honest or too blunt sometimes, ok, I don’t trust any Tom, Dick, & Harry that comes by, maybe I don’t look at you when I am talking to you, so what. This is good, my mom lives out of state and one evening when she came to my home for the weekend, we were talking in the living room. Me, I can’t do just one thing at a time, I feel like I am wasting time. I usually don’t sit motionless and look at you constantly as we speak. Well, I start organizing a bag of craft stuff and My mom gets upset and suddennly says ” Nevermind, I’ll tell you later.” She didn’t think I was listening to her.I repeated the whole story back to her word for word, I was listening, I just multitask. This bothers me b/c it’s been like this my whole life, but now I know why. It’s just a matter of getting her to understand. I told my mom, ” what you don’t realize is that when we are one the phone on all those late nites or whenever, I am probably doing much of the same thing then as I am now, it’s just that you don’t know it, so you feel like I am ‘listening’ to you.”
I seem to be unapproachable. I think I am fairly attractive & a friendly person. Maybe I am not afraid to say some things that others won’t, but I am kind, helpful, and understanding. Yet, I am the bitch too.I don’t feel I am. I just don’t run to give everybody hugs and fake compliments.When it comes to work, work is work. I feel like I seem to see the broad picture more than alot of others and my own independance, drive, and creativity threatens some. I don’t know, but it does hurt my feelings. I have read several articles about the effects that ADHD can cause with interpersonal relationships. It made me feel better to finally know that there maybe is a reason now for my poor interpersonal relationships and that phrase I hate, ” Well, you know how Debbie is sometimes”. One more note, I read something about ADHD persons who seemed to have a sensitivity to being touched and not really like to be real affectionate .Like in bed and so forth, well that is definately me. I can’t stand to be smothered and all my boyfriends complain of not getting any attention or not being affectionate. Both of which I am usually surprised b/c I thought that I was being affectionate and giving attention. Whatever.
Well, I hope this helps your research, the topic interest me alot.
Deborah

Hi, unfortunately I also do not live near your location; however, I am 22 years old and have dealt with being ADHD throughout my life. I have always been good at confusing people by changing the subject quickly or my attention going to something or soemone else and physically moving away from them leaving them hurt and confused…unintentionally. I notice this being a problem most when people stop me, get my attention and most of the time complain that I wasn’t listening, that I must be bored or not care-which most of the time isn’t true…something else just caught my attention. When other people get frustrated with me because of this I usually get frustrated to. I sometimes feel more comfortable around other add’ers because I know they understand.

wow that was an amazing answer. I am going to check this week to see if I am able to conduct a phone interview, because you really have a lot too say, and I am aware that you have a lot of really interesting experiences to talk about. I will get back to you and let you know if there is someway to work that out. thank for the reply

Thank you! Congratulations, you have my attention. haha Lets’s see how long that lasts. :) Like I say ADD works for me so maybe it can work for you also. I’d like to help you any way I can, it sounds like a lot of fun actually.

Hey, I am still looking for michigan residents to interview for my research study to let everyone know. Unfortunatly, my interviews have to be conducted in person. Thanks for all the past responses