What's the Difference?

If he is learning and he is happy, then it sounds like you’re doing the right thing. It sounds like things are going well and they are bringing out his strengths :-)
Why did you become unglued at not labeling him as retarded? (If you thiink about it, all it is saying is that that person isn’t going to commit to anything, one way or the other, and hopefully that *she* isn’t going to see any reason to assume he can’t accomplish things — but it’s one person’s statement. Sounds like this is a good person to be working with your son :-)

Sue,

Thank you for your reply. It made me feel so much better. :D

I am hard of hearing and had been since I was 6 years old. My husband had deaf parents (he was in special education for 10 years, the school thought my husband was “slow”) We both had bad experiences in school. This was during the late ‘70’s and early ‘80’s. And we did not want our son to have the same pains.

I thought the woman at the meeting was telling me my son was “retarded”. Sometimes I misunderstand people. I knew that he was not, and was trying my best to help him with his learning. Do you know at the rate that he is going if he will to stay in special education for long? They say he can only stay there for 3 years and then they have to discuss if he is ready for regular class?

Thanks again!
Lily :D

If he has hearing/language deficits, it is very difficult to evaluate for developmental delays. As you husband’s experience demonstrates, it is very easy and very common for a child with a hearing/speech deficit to be judged as lower IQ than he really is.

Unfortunately there is a vicious circle effect. If he is designated as a slow learner, he will not be challenged intellectually and he will be in classes with other kids who are slow learners and with lowered expectations, so he is likely to stay behind.

I didn’t want to answer your question earlier because I didn’t want to upset you unnecessarily. But the hearing/speech issue changes the picture.

The term “learning disabled” is defined as having *average to above average* intelligence but a *specific* limitation in certain areas — for example, a person who has high intelligence verbally but weak reading skills, or a person who does well on non-verbal measures of intelligence but has difficulty with verbal tasks, and so on.

The term “developmental disability” is very vague — and many people like to use it because it is so vague that they can use euphemisms and avoid the issues. A limited single developmental disability can be similar to an LD. In general, if a child is determined to be *overall* developmentally disabled, this usually includes a lower than average IQ.

Unfortunately people like to use euphemisms and avoid hurting feelings, so they muddy the waters by using terms to mean something else — we just had a parent on another thread upset because a person is using LD as a synonym for retarded, whereas in fact her son is LD and gifted. Then we get to invent and use new definitions every few years to try to get past the misuse of the old ones.

From your description of your son, he sounds like he is coming up to the normal range for kindergarten. If he can tell stories, remember other kids’ names, draw meaningful pictures, dress and toilet himself, then he is on a good track.
I have had “normal” Grade 1 students age 6-7 whose parents tied their shoes and zipped their jackets (I refused to do this — I would rather wait and let them take the time to do it themselves) Of course OT is a good idea to help with his coordination and definitely keep it up, but you can do quite OK in the world with a weak sense of balance — that’s one of my own issues.
With two parents who have hearing problems and his own hearing issues, he needs all the speech he can get. Anything you can do to get him both therapy and real-world stimulation. Do you take him to any other activities where he gets to talk and socialize with other kids and/or adults, everything from sports to cubs to Sunday school?

Academically, there is a fine line to draw between challenging him enough and pressuring him too much. Be positive but be careful.
At this point I would hope he knows colours and if not he should learn them; he should be counting, first one-two-three objects, then to five, then to ten, later to a hundred; he will be learning to recite or sing the alphabet; and then he needs to learn to recognize *and* print the *lower-case* letters (please avoid the capitals-first thing — they are not in any way “easier, this is a popular fallacy, and 95% of all print is lower-case); and he should learn to write his name normally in lower-case (and please teach correct directionality in printing and avoid the backwards and upside down dead end). Once he can recognize several letters consistently at least 90% correct — and don’t rush him — you can teach him to sound out the phonic sounds of the letters and slowly, gradually, work into sounding simple words. If he has hearing and speech issues, teaching this directly, teachbing how to form the sounds with his tongue and lips, can have a powerful feedback to his spoken language. Avoid memorizing words by sight which is a dead end and very likely extremely frustrating, and avoid trying to drill addition and subtraction facts before he even knows what a number is — these are two high-pressure hurry-up approaches that are tried and failed over and over again, just not effective if the child is not ready, and cause a lot of frustration and resistance.
If you spend just ten to twenty minutes a day with him each morning and each evening going over basics starting with colours, counting, and letters (have him trace the letters and numbers in correct direction on a large black or white board and at the same time say the sound to get kinesthetic and auditory memory tied in — much more effective), this can make a huge difference within a couple of months, and it can be like day and night by the end of a school year. It’s generally not huge intensive interventions that make a difference, but the slow building up of skills a little bit at a time. Slow but steady wins the race.

There are other interventions that parents here have tried. Many people here speak highly of Audiblox for cognitive training. It is a definite time commitment but people who have done it say it works. I haven’t used it myself but you can do a search on the site and see what you find.

Thanks again. :D It makes me feel better that I am not the only one in this. And thanks for all the help.

Again, I am hard of hearing (not deaf) I took speech in school for 3 years but I am weak in Math and Grammer (because those are the classes they took me out of of) and I still have trouble with these. I work with babies newborn to 10 months. For the past 12 years I worked with children 2 to 5 years of age. That is when I noticed that my son was having problems when he was 2 1/2 and got help.

My husband is not deaf (but was raised by deaf parents, they have 3 hearing children) The school considered him “slow” he was placed in special education for 10 years and he also took speech for 3 years. He is weak in all areas except art. (He can draw anything in cartoon form). It makes him upset that he can’t get a better job than working on a golf course.

As for my son. He enjoys school. He is in Kindergarden in Self-contained class (whatever that means) Some say Special Needs Class some say Special Education class. What’s the difference??? :?

We take him to the library every other Saturday. He goes to church services with us on every Sunday and Wednesday. He enjoys his time in class there. It gets to be with “normal” children for a change. I think it is good for him so that he can learn to communicate with other people. About twice a month we take him to a park or somewhere special (mostly on Saturday).

He is beginning to spell his name verbally. He notices some of his the letters in his name. Among 4 different names he can pick out his and name the others!! He knows all his colors. Some shapes (he does not know rectangle, octogon, diamond) I think that is good! He can sing the ABC song, he is now learning the alphabet. He can count to 10 by pointing to objects. He know Nursery Rhymes by looking at the pictures. He loves to trace letters and shapes. What else is there for him to learn. He learned all this is the space of 5 weeks. I don’t know what the teachers taught him in preschool, they only sent home art work. But his teacher in Kindergarden sends me a list of things he will be learning in class. I also requested that she send some work home so we can “practice at home”. Because my son was begging to do things at home. She has sent practice sheets to trace letters.

Sorry that I wrote alot :lol: Thank you for listening. This is the best thing that has happened to me. I am able to discuss my problems and find support. Thanks again!

Lily

Special Needs and Special Education are overlapping terms, used pretty much the same depending on where you are and who is talking.

Self-contained means he is in this classroom all day separate from the rest of the school. This can be either good or bad. From the sound of it this year it is a really good learning atmosphere and he is doing well. As time goes on it may be a problem not being in the regular curriculum. Schools and teachers vary so much that it is impossible to say which setup is best, self-contained or not.

From what you say he is doing standard kindergarten work and doing well. Keep supporting and adding to it at home but he is definitely on the right track.

If he continues to do this well, you may want to talk to the teachers about when and how he should be re-introduced into the regular classroom. Many kids go to the special needs class part-time and the regular class part-time; if your school is as good as it sounds, they probably have a long-term plan in mind, and you will be reassured if you talk to them about how they see him doing Grades 1 and 2.

Thanks again! Thank you for helping me understand a little better. Maybe I won’t be so uptight about if I am doing the right the thing. Now I am worried about report card time!! Is it a ongoing cycle?

Lily

Yes absolutely it’s an ongoing cycle. Re-start every school year and re-re-start at each transition level (K to primary, primary to middle, middle to high at least).

You really need to sit down for a coffee and a quiet, long talk with the director of the program that he is in now — since it sounds like a good one, you should get some real info from this director — and talk about long-term plans. Not to put anything formal on paper but to get an idea of where he is going and what the next steps are.

Who would this be? The principle of the school, Coordinator of Special Education, or The Director of Student Affairs? :? I wish I knew who was responsible for what. It seems like a big maze to me. Sometimes I feel like I am one lonely sheep among wolves.

Start with coordinator of Special Ed, since that’s where he is now.

heep among wolves? Read the letters from the other parents here who are stuck in uncooperative and actively damaging school systems!

The term “developmentally delayed” is not applicable at age 6 and older. Preschoolers who are delayed in several developmental areas (cognitive, or thinking skills, speech/language, gross or fine motor, self-help, etc.) are given the developmentally delayed label and often served through special needs preschool programs. Once the child turns 6, he is re-evaluated to see if he continues to qualify for services either as specific learning disabled, mentally retarded (or whatever term, such as “educable mentally handicapped”) or speech and/or language impaired. The term “developmental disabilities” is different, and usually applied to older children and adults who are what most of us would call mentally retarted. IQ is not stable in young children so although they may be mentally retarted, it is often too soon to say. Many preschoolers outgrow their “developmental disabilities” and go on to be typically developing students in elementary school- with normal IQs. Some will continue to need speech or language therapy, some will have learning disabilities that need specific remediation. It sounds like you and your child are on the right track. Sit down with your child’s special education teacher and ask the questions you are confused about— IEP’s and all the associated paperwork are confusing even for the professionals.

Rover — the ever-expanding euphemisms are sliding the developmentally delayed term into school age and even later. You just have to keep up with how people are trying to misuse words this time.

Right- I would love it if at least the 50 States would agree on terms. IDEA uses dev. delay for kids birth to 3 years old to qualify for an IFSP. Each state gets to determine what constitutes a developmental delay. “Developmentally delayed” is not one of the 13 categories under which school-aged children qualify as having a disability, though children 3-9 “may” qualify if dev. delayed. Who writes this stuff?