My son had a rocky start with homework this year for the first time. We had a 504 meeting and it was agreed that, if necessary, he could turn in homework a day late, if for some reason he didn’t get it done the first night, i.e., forgot to write down the assignment, forgot to bring the book home, etc. He has gradually become more organized with our and his teachers’ help and is getting things in pretty much on time. The first quarter is almost over, and he has gotten everything turned in, although some papers were one or more days late.
One of the teachers apparently told the kids the first couple of weeks of school that there would be a party for the kids who turned all their homework in the next day without fail. Three kids in the class didn’t. One missed several weeks of the quarter, one simply doesn’t bother to do homework, and the third is my son. I have a huge problem with this. First of all, I think it is cruel to single kids out like this for any reason because it doesn’t accomplish anything for the ones who don’t care, but it’s especially cruel for a child like my son who is doing his darn best with the continuous support of us at home as his parents to help him succeed. It’s like all the work we have done to keep him feeling positive about school and feeling responsible about homework is undone with this negative message. He was in tears when he came home because of missing the party, and, if that’s not enough, they are expected to spend the hour and a half doing busy work while all the other kids have their party.
Am I way off base here?
Re: Cruel and unusual?
Thanks, Stacy- we decided to keep our son home today to have our own “party” to celebrate what he has accomplished.
We talked to the school counselor who backed up the teacher’s choice to reward the kids who met her expectations, but she understood our feelings too. She has suggested we might all be happier with another teacher who has a smaller class and may have more patience that this particular teacher who seems to be more interested in her own agenda than the children. We have never switched a teacher before, even if they weren’t exactly what we hoped for, because we want our son to learn to deal with all kinds of people and expectations. However, this just seems like out and out cruelty to me, not just for my son but those other kids. Seems like a good teacher would go ahead and arrange a party, allow every child to attend, but perhaps have the kids who didn’t meet her expecations act as the clean-up committee— all of course handled in a humorous, caring manner. Or something…..
Re:instructional time?
What does the principal think of a teacher taking 90 minutes of instructional time for a party after only 1 month of school?
Re:instructional time?
Actually, this is the end of the 1st quarter here— they started school at the beginning of August. I wondered about that too, but, it sounds like the school leaves this sort of thing up to the teachers…
Re: Cruel and unusual?
AC-
It sounds to me like you did the right thing by having your own party. I also understand how you feel about switching teachers. I switched my son out of his 5th grade class because his teacher was down right cruel. Before that I believed the same thing you did, that my child would have to learn to deal with different personality types. I felt so much better after the switch and my son felt so much better and the learning environment was so much better that I knew I had made the right decision. Unfortunately, some teachers just don’t “get” ADD, they believe that the child just doesn’t want to focus or pay attention, etc. My son is in 8th grade now and its still a struggle for him but we are dealing with it. I have a unique perspective being a teacher of special needs children and a mother of a special needs child- please feel free to e-mail me at any time.
e-mail address is [email protected]
good luck- Stacy
Re: Cruel and unusual?
I agree with the others that this teacher is way off base and obviously knows nothing about kids like your son. I think changing teachers is a good idea. I don’t say that lightly but a year is a long time in the life of a kid. That’s a whole lot of days to feel like you just don’t ever measure up in the eyes of the person in authority. I think that can cause enough damage that if there’s a way to avoid it, you should. It especially bothers me that the principal is supporting the teacher in this decision. Somebody ought to hand that teacher a pile of books to read in order to get up to date on teaching. Or send the teacher to a couple workshops for some retraining.
You are in no way off base with this. I am a special education teacher and I would not even consider doing something like this to any of my students. I also have a son who is ad/hd and I would request a meeting with the teacher and the CSE committee ASAP. I also believe there might be a legal issue involved since this was taken to a 504. Please keep advocating for your son- and teach him to do the same.