stubborn math instructor

I’ve been on both sides of this kind of argument, and so all I can tell you is that there may be more going on here than meets the eye.

Yes, *sometimes* instructors can be unreasonable. I’ve had a couple. I can tell you tales that would curl your hair. It is possible that you just lucked out and got one of the really bad ones. This happens maybe one time out of twenty.
Now, about the other 95% of the time …

On the other hand, when I hear a student complaining about having to do things “the teacher’s way”, I cheer for the teacher. That is her job!!! She is there to TEACH. That means showing people how to do something **new and different**. If they don’t like doing something new and different and always want to do exactly the same they’ve always done, well then they can stay in the same place, they dont need to get a fake degree saying they have learned something that they haven’t.

When my daughter was in high school, a local woman warned us away from Mrs. P, the head of the English department at the large high school, that Mrs. P was “mean” and wanted everything done “her way”. Well, my daughter got into Mrs. P’s class in Grade 11, and made sure to choose her again in Grade 12. She was one of the best teachers at an award-winning school. It turns out “her way” was (duh) correct English — good grammar, good spelling, organized writing, well-constructed essays, answering the questions asked — all those things that both get you a good grade in AP English, and make your work readable so that you get better results in other subjects and in the workplace. Of course if you don’t want to learn English and think you know a better way, then you won’t like a serious teacher like this.

When I was teaching college developmental (read remedial) algebra, I had a couple of students with a weird fixation: they absolutely refused to do any algebra. I had one who was quite good at logic and very good at arithmetic, and he worked out the answers to the problems using these. He point-blank refused to ever write an equation on his paper. I simply could not get through to him that the *subject* of the class was working with equations, and that once out of the beginner books there would be problems that could not be faked. The numbers don’t matter; tomorrow I can change the problems around and get different numbers, but the *equations* and the *method* of solution stay the same, and that is the topic I was there to teach. Nope, he was not going to do that stuff; he got the “right answer”, so he was right and I was crazy. He ended up failing the class, because you can’t pass algebra if you refuse to do algebra.

Over the years, I have been on the receiving end of quite a few complaints of “she only wants it done HER way”. At first I felt very bad about these and tried to understand the student’s point of view. After a number of very negative experiences, I realized that in almost all cases it was a lost cause — the student had a way of doing things that he felt comfortable with, and he was going to go to my supervisor and get me fired because I didn’t do things HIS way. But unfortunately his way was either dead wrong, or at best so incredibly inefficient that he would never progress.
There are certain limitations in reality. Extended time is OK, but the math center closes after eight hours and if you use techniques that won’t finish in that time, you are not going to get anywhere. Nor will you succeed in the workplace if it always takes you eight hours to do a job that is usually finished in one. Looking up new formulas is OK, and using calculators is OK, but you have to know the fundamental tools of your subject or else you will either make constant errors or you will have to reread the whole book to do every problem. Variant styles of writing are OK, but you have to put things in the standard notation of your field so that other people can read them.

I have several times been in the horrible position of following a teacher who played for popularity by watering down the course content to zero. He was a great teacher and all the students loved him and they learned “so much” from him — of course, over the entire school year he covered one chapter (and not the most important chapter at that) out of a twenty-chapter text. He accepted the students exactly as they were and loved them and told them jokes and was their best buddy. Of course, when they took standardized tests the entire class was in the fifth percentile and they all were refused entry everywhere, but hey that was because the world is prejudiced against them, right? Then I was hired to try to clean up the mess, and I am mean and horrible and too demanding (those are the only repeatable comments) and I only want things done “my” way. Of course when I and the administration managed to stick it out for a year at least some of the students passed the next level, funny how “my” way gets people past those barriers …

Thinking in particular of the horizontal versus vertical issue, well, a few things come to my mind:
(a) a number of problems in intermediate and advanced math are simply too long to go across a page. When you get twenty terms, you simply can’t get paper three feet wide. And it is super-difficult to sort out the terms. Working vertically is often the only way to preserve your sanity when faced with one of these.
(b) when working with equations in two and three and four or more variables, there is a standard technique which works neatly and quickly — and it requires writing across in order and then adding and subtracting up and down. Anything else creates chaos.
(c) When you get to a topic called matrices — a basic tool for engineering math — they are rectangles of numbers with both rows across *and* columns up and down. You’ve got to deal with both directions.
(d) Graphs are a fundamental tool for engineers, on the level of the alphabet in reading. You have to deal with two dimensions, horizontal and vertical, in the most basic levels. Then when you get past the beginning, the world is three-dimensional and you have 3-D graphs with x and y and now z.

So before just blowing off the teacher for “wanting things done HER way”, it is a good idea to find out whether “her” way is, well, the entire subject of the class, the material you are there to learn, the standard techniques and tools of the field, a step up towards the next level …

Thank you for your reply, and I understand exactly what you are saying.
I am the angry one, not my husband. I was very defensive of him in my post. He has not refused to do anything, and he does not dislike his math instructor. He does not think she’s “mean”, and he has been very respectful to her. That’s how he is. He has been spending many hours trying to understand her methods and cannot (not, will not). When he found a method (through trial and error) that he understood, he was so happy because he wants to learn this so bad.
My husband is not someone who has “skated through” life. He has had his own business as a general contractor. He understands practical applications of math. He was able to calculate pricing estimates and design piping sytems for homes and businesses. He has never been opposed to learning new and different ways of doing things and in fact has welcomed it.
When he told me that his instructor blew up at him in class for trying to find a method he could understand, it broke my heart. So forgive my defensive ranting.
We are well aware that in the employment world he is going to have difficulties with his processes. He has no choice…this program is his (our) last chance for a future. He has disabilities, but we are still hopeful he can find employment.
He was recently at a meeting with his school counselor, his math tutor, his math instructor, and the school dean. His math instructor stated that he was spending all of his time on his other classes and no time on her assignments, and that he was behind in her class by weeks. In fact, he has been spending most of his time on math, and a bare minimum of time on his other classes, and he is only missing a couple of math assignments, one of which was not collected for credit because the whole class was having a problem with it. But she still brought it up at the meeting as him not having turned it in. She said he was not capable of succeeding in the program. She may as well have said he was not capable of succeeding in life. I guess this where you and she agree. I do not.
The day after the meeting, my husband’s physics instructor showed the “whole class” different methods for physics math. One of the methods was very similar to the way my husband was working his math. The instructor watched him work some problems and told him he was doing “backdoor algebra” or “linear math backwards”. He said it was not wrong, just different, then proceeded to show him a few more formulas to work with. When my husband came home and told me that someone understood what he was doing, he was so happy, there were tears in his eyes. Even if he should fail his math class, this, to me, was a success.
Again, I appreciate your feedback.

Your instructor’s comments do sound over the line and yes, there probably is a problem there.

The physics instructor’s comments about “backdoor algebra” are the kind of thing I was suspecting. Again, yes you can get “right answers” from personally invented methods. And if your goal is to get one specific topic, you can indeed succeed in that one topic. But if your goal is to move ahead and get the big picture, then you have to learn the language used by everyone else in the country.

My recommendations in situations like this are generally to work on both fronts, the instructor and the math:
Drop the class before it leaves an F on the record — use medical etc. evidence if this will require flexing the rules. Change it to audit status (no grade report) if that can keep paperwork straight.
Get a tutor who really knows advanced math (NOT the peer tutor, who usually shares ignorance and counterproductive “trick” approaches).
Work with the tutor *ahead* of the next session and get a grip on what you are supposed to do and how.
Take the subject again with a different instructor. Maybe you can do that at your present school, and maybe you can do it at another school and transfer credits. For the first two years of university you can transfer credits from junior colleges. There are also correspondence classes and online classes, and if you choose a reputable school the credits wil be transferable.

Victoria,
Thank you for the advice. The school is not a university, but a vocational technical college. The program is for an associates degree in Mechanical Design, geared toward entry level employment in the field. It was a 2 year course that has been reduced to about 20 months…a cram course I guess you would say. My husband is still in his first semester and
is being funded by the Dept. of Vocational Rehabilitation based upon his disabilities. They sent him for vocational testing and concluded that he was best suited for this field due to his work history, interests, and abilities. He thoroughly enjoys the program except for this one “roadblock”. He’s not looking for a way around it, but wants to work through it. He so far has A’s and B’s in his other classes and a D in math. We cannot afford an “outside” tutor. The one he has was provided by the school.We are living off of his (very small) student loan and food stamps at the moment. I have had medical problems for many years and can no longer work.There is a small chance that he might be able to take a math class during summer break, but this depends on DVR being willing to fund it, and he will still have to make it through spring session.
I appreciate your suggestions, and in regard to something you said in your first reply, some of the so called “meanest” teachers I have had, have also been the “most excellent”.

Sounds like a situation we have here on occasion (community college). Teacher match can be dreadfully important for folks with disabilities; I bet my bottom dollar this is not the only teacher for this course, *and* that there’s a pretty high repeat rate (unless it’s a lock-step program where you have to have all the courses in the right sequence).
Is there somebody at the college who could be a good advocate? Who might know different options? (We’ve got all kinds of options and full time people who do nothing but advocate and advise students in those kinds of math courses… but this college, under the current administration, thinks that developmental students are a worthy investment.) Who would know a better match?
Our best teachers do insist on working vertically — but most of them *teach* it and teach how and why it works. It makes a difference. As one of my regulars, who’s repeating 094, said, “If I don’t get it in this class, it’s me.” (I’m happy to say he’s getting it — around some pretty significant memory issues. )

I worked for a short while as a VA tutor. I believe that sometimes also the DVR will support tutoring. Ask — the worst they can do is say no.
And if this school tutor is not getting where you want to go, you can also ask the school for another one, explaining that your husband’s disabilities require an experienced and highly qualified person, no offense to the other but his needs are more extreme.
Your husband can also go to the school and ask for extensions on time to complete requirements etc. Sometimes you can get an Incomplete grade and re-do the exam after the semester break, which gives time to study. There are many places to flex the rules for real health reasons.
The main thing if you need some special consideration is to ask BEFORE the emergency blows up in your face. If you wait until after it sounds like an excuse, while if you make a request before it is much more likely to get a hearing on merit.

I worked for a short while as a VA tutor. I believe that sometimes also the DVR will support tutoring. Ask — the worst they can do is say no.
And if this school tutor is not getting where you want to go, you can also ask the school for another one, explaining that your husband’s disabilities require an experienced and highly qualified person, no offense to the other but his needs are more extreme.
Your husband can also go to the school and ask for extensions on time to complete requirements etc. Sometimes you can get an Incomplete grade and re-do the exam after the semester break, which gives time to study. There are many places to flex the rules for real health reasons.
The main thing if you need some special consideration is to ask BEFORE the emergency blows up in your face. If you wait until after it sounds like an excuse, while if you make a request before it is much more likely to get a hearing on merit.

Thank you both. My husband’s school counselor found out that he could drop his math class and “test out” at a later date (if he chooses). That way the “F” that the math instructor just gave him won’t show up on his school record. This will give him more time to devote to his other classes and the math that is involved with them. If he doesn’t feel comfortable testing out, he’ll have the time to find another math class. His counselor is also going to talk with DVR about extending his program to 3 years. His counselor hinted that there has been “incidences” with this math instructor in the past, and wanted him to report some hurtful things she said to him, to the people “upstairs”. But my husband, being the kind-hearted soul that he is, refused and said that he didn’t think doing that would help him in the long run. It seems that (almost) everyone at the school feels he is worth helping. I feel like going to the school and hugging (almost) everyone! Also, his tutor is a mathmetician that is employed full time at the school and has in fact, been an “advocate” for him. It just took him a while to understand what my huband’s struggles were.

Has his voc rehab couselor been involved in the negotiations with the teacher or school? Working for a successful program outcome (read: job) is part of the job. In fact, it is the job. If a vendor/school wants more business ($$$) then they’d better cooperate. :)

John…30 years in the field as a counselor and evaluator and still at it.

Well again, I’ve been on both sides of this story.

There was the math professor who was verbally abusive, screaming at me for more than half an hour before I managed to say any more than my name — when I had come to apologize for missing class because I had just spent a week in the hospital. Like yours, he accused me of missing homework when for the first time in my life I’d actually been doing it. He also told me I was a failure and would shame my family and a lot of other nice stuff; just what you need to have yelled in your face when you are young and ill and alone. That incident trashed my university career and my plans to become a math professor, hard to be a math major when that happens. So OK, I do know what it’s like to be really badly treated. It does happen.

On the other hand, there were the lovely people who went to my department head at the college and quite deliberately got me fired, because I insisted they actually had to do the math on the program and learn something. After I got fired, I heard through my daughter that some of my former students were very happy I had taught all that stuff, because they was able to pass the university courses, unlike all the other transferrees from that college who were flunking out.

So when you say there has been “trouble” with this professor before, well, was the trouble because of something *off* the topic, or was it because the professor is trying hard to push people up to a standard where they will be able to succeed when they get out of this protected environment?

Another incident: when teaching at the college, in the earliest remedial algebra level, I got a student once who had very odd class behaviour. He did come to class, but once there he opened his textbook and bent over it, and paid no attention whatever to what was going on in the class. I spoke to him once or twice about listening and participating, but he just went on and I left him to do his thing; this is college after all. The first test he failed miserably. He became very very angry about the failing grade. I said quite simply that I could not do anything at all for him if he didn’t actually take part in class, that if he wanted help he had to first try to use what was offered. He blew up. He said (yelled) that he had been homeschooled, he learned on his own, that he knew how he learned best and my methods were a complete waste of his time, and then he went on that he was going to go to the department and tell them how bad I was and get me fired, and he was going to get out of my lousy class. OK, I said, no problem, switch classes if you want to, you should have switched before if you felt so bad about it. He did switch classes, deliberately choosing a young man in his first year teaching as an instructor, I guess hoping to find someone easier to pressure. At the end of the term I verified the computerized grades of my students; this one was still on my list, and lo and behold, his grade report was three F’s and a D — the nice young math instructor had bent that far, to a D, but the other subjects were all F’s (and none of my doing). So much for knowing your own best methods of learning.

I hope you see why I’m of two minds about this. Yes, there are some bad instructors out there; and also there are some students who have been sadly misled about what they need to do to succeed.
Certain courses and instructors are “gateways”. You need to get past a certain level in order to move on into either the next level of school or into the working world. Being one of these gateway instructors is not fun, varying from difficult to complete burnout. You hear every excuse and threat in the book. If your administration supports you it is difficult and fatiguing. If your administration plays both ends against the middle, telling instructors to keep high academic standards and telling students that the instructors are being too strict, it’s a recipe for a nervous breakdown.

The instructor who has had “trouble” before may indeed be a person who has no business teaching — as above, I’ve certainly met a few — or she may be a basically good person who has been backed into a corner so many times that she has all her defenses up and ready. No, it is not good to say that a student has no chance of passing a class. On the other hand, after a few students have gone to your boss and made lurid complaints and had you fired because you gave them D’s when they wanted B’s, you may feel that preventive/protective action is necessary, to let it be known they are failing on their own academic merits before it becomes a situation of trading threats and their claims that you are retaliating.

Back on topic, testing out of the math class can be a good thing. He can work on the material at his own pace with the tutor. Just that he should be very sure he is learing the skills and can do the required work, *not* just to the point of recognizing the correct answer on multiple-choice, but to be able to solve the problems independently so he can succeed in the next levels.

Yes, my husband’s school counselor has been working with his DVR counselor, however the DVR counselor has been reassigned, and he hasn’t met his new one yet. His school counselor is setting up a meeting for the 3 of them, and she’s been pretty on top of things.
As for the math instructor, there were no details of the past problems and my husband didn’t want to go there anyway. I doubt that she is a “bad teacher”, it just seems that she got really frustrated when my husband would get correct answers by a different method. She told him she didn’t understand what he was doing and she didn’t want to deal with it. She actually shoved his homework aside and refused to discuss it with him. I’m sure she has a lot more things going on than just my husband’s LD, but she didn’t have to be nasty to him. My husband just wants to move on and keep trying to learn what he needs to learn. It’s his nature to want to know how things work. He doesn’t want to just memorize formulas. In any case, if he can get his program extended and slow down the pace [u]a little bit[/u], he should be able to reach his goal(a job!).

Well, I feel for both sides here.
She shoves his homework aside and doesn’t want to deal with it — yes he feels hurt.
Try to put yourself in the place of the math instructor who gets criticized day in and day out for trying very hard to do her job, to teach a standard math course and accepted methods of communicating math and to prepare people for the next levels of study and work. She keeps explaining things and keeps having her words fall on deaf ears. She doesn’t feel so hot either.
Frustrated people, people who get criticized a lot, people who cannot get others to listen to them, tend to come out with comments and actions that they may regret later when the heat of the moment has worn off.
And then when someone keeps after you and after you when you have already said no several times, you do get defensive, and the heat stops wearing off.
Given the poor math preparation of most students entering college, and their feeling of entitlement despite not knowing the work, math instructors take a lot of grief. They tend to turn off when they hear the same thing for the five hundredth time and they tend to draw the line on what they will read or not. I’ve had professors tell me to rewrite my work, and I’ve told students to rewrite theirs.
It may be too late to do this if too much bad feeling has built up on both sides, but I would normally suggest he go to the instructor during office hours (that’s why instructors are required to have hours) when it is quiet and private and less stressed, and ask her to show him how she wants the work laid out and what is missing from what he has done. He might find it is a relatively small issue, or she may, with time and calm, be better able to read what he has done.

Victoria,
I’m sorry that this discussion is so upsetting to you and that you have taken it so personally. Obviously, you’ve been treated very badly in the past. But you keep assuming that my husband is refusing to try, when in fact, he has been trying very hard.
I appreciate your earlier advice, and that of the other posters.

I did NOT say your husband is “not trying”.

I have been trying hard to explain that he may very likely be trying very very hard to go in the *wrong direction*.
If the class is heading north and he is slogging hard through the swamp heading west, yes he is working incredibly hard, but no he will not reach his goal.

I respect where you guys are both coming from. Victoria, I repsect where you are coming from because one of the things I have learned on these boards is that you have very good teaching experience and that Sue does as well. noinwi I can repsect where you are coming from, not to sound redundant, but you respect your husband and are expressing your concerns out of your respect for him.

But Noinmi, you should be grateful that the DVR will and are helping your husband ;it is not like that everywhere in the US. I think that you are grateful for the DVR and your husband being at a nice place at his life where he can get his schooling. That in and of itself, is a very blessed thing. Any wife would be proud of that.

However, for what your husband wishes to study, you really have to know different forms of math. I envy the living daylights out of your husband for his being able to convert things to linear equations. I can not do like linear equations in two variables as of yet because I have mad wicked dyscaculia. So, yay for your husband, gosh if he can think in terms of manipluating equations like that then the sky could be the limit for him and he does not even know it yet. But, for engineering, you really have to know more than what your husband is currently able to do. That is just a fact, he will come to a point where he has to learn how to do more. And, even though he should be commended for what he can now do…he has to be given the tools to learn more and especially different forms of math as it pertains to his future career goals. Your husband sounds as though he is smart enough to learn more, and I think he should go for it. There is never any shame in fiding the strength within yourself to increase your knowledge and I bet your husband has that strength, especially if he has a wife who is trying to hunt for ways to help him! He just has to increase his skills set, you know? No shame in that. With schooling shame comes when you let your mind become as stagnant as a pond, no shame should ever come from wishing to learn more. Heck with that. I think that Victoria has good advice because if your husband can get a tutor from this DVR, then he can work that class and test the heck out of it…but he has to know what he is doing fully, not just through converting things to linear equations. Most especially with engineering. Any form of engineering, you learn your math wrong and one day you build a bridge that collapses or a computer that explodes or you get a nice job at a factory and cannot read some write up of something…who wants that! Especially a fellow like your husband that has had challenges already and overcome them.

Now, on the down low…I wonder if your husband cannot get like an incomplete? And then he can finish the class up later on? If you work with this DVR, maybe the school will allow that? Something to that effect? But, like how Victoria says, where he learns what he needs to with a tutor? Where I live the DVR is for the most profoundly of all disabled peoples, so be grateful you have it. But…I do not know, for that was on the downlow.

If that professor really was rude to your husband, then that is silly. Like, ask your math professor for help and have them say heck no and swipe away your math homework? Your husband is quite the gentleman for not speaking harshly at that professor, I am a lady and I would have given them the whatfor. Maybe they can reach a compromise? I know from personal experience that if you tell your instructor your learning situation and do that work and show that work, they can help you. Look them in the eye and ask them stuff and come prepared as heck. My online prof helps me and I am like grade six math for right now. If your husband cannot reach and compromise with this prof, then that is far out and who needs them!

there is a resolution to this. everyone on this board is nice, you know? and they are trying to help, not hurt.

Merlinjones,
I understand exactly what you all are saying about direction and applying the math to the job. I also have a great respect for teachers, and math teachers in particular, as I too, have dyscalulia. I know Victoria is trying to help and she has given good advice, which I appreciate.
My husband was up front with all of his instructors at the beginning of the semester. He sat down with each one of them and explained his disabilities, told them he wanted to succeed in the program and we was going to work very hard to do so.
He was not only tested by the school(for entry), but was tested at a vocational evaluation institute prior to choosing a program. He had help choosing a program, he did not pick it on a whim. He understands physics, he understands practical application of math, he understands electronics and mechanics, and spent several years designing and installing propane and natural gas piping systems in businesses and homes. He was licensed and bonded and had a contract with the local power company where we used to live. He has prevented disasters by recognizing and repairing poorly installed gas appliances and systems. He was very aware of the safety issues in that field of work, which is why he shut down his business when he had eye surgery that saved the health of his eyes, but left him with severe vision problems that are not correctable. He can no longer do any physically demanding work due to a back injury(he needs a cane to help him get around), and his low vision slows down his motor skills .
He has a uncanny ability to solve math problems in his head(I know, not practical in the classroom), but cannot show his process “vertically”. He has to convert all problems to linear form. He does not change the the order or what the problem is asking, just “squishes and stretches” it out on paper so his brain can recognize the procedure. Then he solves it from right to left (I know this makes everyone crazy). Then he reworks it left to right to prove it. You’d think he would be able to work it left to right in the beginning but he cannot. He spent hours and hours trying to do this for his math instructor and kept getting the answers wrong. He has had this problem his whole life, and grade school teachers and high school teachers told him he was lazy and not paying attention. He’s beaten himself up terribly over this, and was thrilled when both his physics instructor and his tutor recognized his process as an actual “math method”, accepted or not.
He is dropping his math class (per counselor’s advice)and will concentrate on his physics and engineering classes. He will not give up until these two instructors tell him that they believe he cannot succeed in the field. If he does well, he will either test out of math, or take a later math class.
My husband is not at a “good place in his life”. He is in a lot of pain both physically and emotionally, and is trying to overcome it all. I help him however I can. I see the desperation on his face daily, and try to encourage him.
Most of the school and DVR people that he works with have faith in his abilities, as I do, and we’ve been so grateful for the help he has been given. He very much wants to prove that he’s been worth their time and effort.
I wish more people knew about DVR. You do not have to be totally incapacitated to receive their help. They want people to work, and will go to great lengths to help them. They do not offer financial assistance(for living), but they will help with evaluation and training. I’m sorry this post is so long. Thank you all for your help.

I am sorry for mis-speaking. I meant that maybe your husband is at a good place in his life with regards to the fact that he is trying very hard to get his schooling and has a nice wife who cares deeply for him. Please pardon me for not making myself more clearer, I mean no disrespect to you. I am a total sap because I have been following this thread and I just think it beautiful that your husband has a nice wife who is obviously very caring. Maybe my thinking that a nice fellow who has a nice wife to turn to for support colored my thinking with regards to my stating that your husband is at a nice place in his life, and I am sorry for that. I have empathy for your husband, most especially with regards to his problems with his back. My younger brother Stephen is a smart as a whip. He had scoliosis really badly and by the time his own sister (not our parents, but his older sister…Ms. MerlinJones) got a way to help him, he was really far gone with his back and is a 25 year old who might as well be 90 years old, with regards to his physical strength and manner of walking.

Please note that I am beyond sure that your husband has had a very gainful means of employment because you have stated that yourself in past postings. But, math is far out for certain lines of work…that is all I was trying to say. From your elaborating on your husband’s prowess with math, I must say that #1 I am very jealous! :) and #2 I am not a scholar or anything but your husband sounds as though he is a very gifted fellow! I honestly cannot claim to understand how your husband does his math, but he sounds very gifted and I have vibes that he will test out of his math class with the piss poor instructor.

It is weird when you are l.d. most especially with math l.d. I think that there are things that your math l.d. does to you that make you better at some things than others. And sometimes that can actually make an instructor jealous and not wish to help you. I do not know how that would be like for math, but my l.d. makes me good in English and I have had profs just proofread papers of mine and give me a perfect score. I will ask about what they thought of what I wrote out, and they will say it was never their area but that they appreciated my attempt. That is silly. But I think that in math an instructor should appreciate the attempt no matter the means and then help a nice fellow or lady transcend the manner in which they got that answer, or wrote that paper, but still pay mind to the actual attempt made. I think that Sue and Victoria are like that. And, I personally have had instructors of math be like that. I bet, and have really good vibes that your husband is super smart and will be testing out of this class and be laughing about it come the summer.

Where I live there is only DVR for the most profoundly of all disabled peoples. It has been that way since, like, 1995 or so. I personally cannot get mad at that, because I think it would be worse for my city to not acknowledge the most profoundly disabled.

But, for anyone reading this, never send your youngsters to University in MEMPHIS,TN unless you know of some other means to get help for your l.d.

Thank you for your kind words. I do care deeply for my husband and I guess I can be over-protective.
I’m sorry to hear about your brother’s condition, and you’re a very good sister for trying to help him. He is lucky to have your love and support.
My husband’s situation was a bit similar in that his family didn’t believe he was having vision problems when he was younger, and he didn’t find out he had an eye disease until he was 21(he’s now 31). He had one eye surgery and had to wait years for it to heal completely so he could have the other eye done(corneal transplants). In healing, the new corneas, although healthy, have become irregular and prism-like. His family never cared about what he was going through, they just wanted to know when he would be able to “fix” things for them again.
I do believe he may have been a gifted child, as he repaired his first TV when he was 5 years old. He said he was always taking things apart to see how they worked. A neighbor, and surrogate grandpa took him under his wing and taught him a great deal about electronics, radios in particular. And he has always been mechanically inclined(sorry, I’m just gushing now).
Last night he worked several hours on his physics math and when he came home today he told me he only got one problem wrong because he didn’t understand the question. He did it all in his backwards linear fashion, and the instructor was just fine with it.
Merlinjones, you have a very good way with words, and what you said about instructors appreciating the attempt is exactly how I feel…only I didn’t do a very good job getting that across because I was so angry. I’m one of those people that Victoria mentioned, who lash out in anger, then regret it later. I’m not very diplomatic. My husband’s the even tempered one, and tries to keep me in check.
I’m glad I found this forum. There seem to be a lot of nice, helpful people here.
My own dyscalculia has not been officially diagnosed, but one of my former doctors “highly suspected” that I had it. I can learn some math procedure and lose it completely the next day. Or even minutes later I can’t work out on paper what I was just shown and understood. Everything morphs into hieroglyphics as I’m staring at it. It’s been this way since 7th grade. I completely blank out every time I’m asked a math question without warning (very bad during job interviews). I had to use a particular formula for a job that I used to do, and I had no problem with it because I used it daily for over 7 years, but that was a long time ago and I couldn’t remember that formula now if my life depended on it. If I’m not using it constantly, I lose it. I leave the numbers to my husband, and he leaves english and spelling to me. Between the two of us, we have a working brain(sort of). Sorry for rambling. I do think things may be taking a turn for the better. Thanks everyone.