My 18yo ss will be trying to get his learner’s permit soon. I realize that he may not even pass the test, but I am petrified when I think of him actually passing the test and starting to drive. He took driver’s ed. in school a couple of years ago and made Bs and Cs. But somehow that doesn’t make me feel any better.
His dx is borderline MR. He has attention issues and either has slower than normal reflexes or is doing a really good job of being lazy, I haven’t been able to figure out which.
I am afraid that he won’t be able to pay attention to all of the things you must pay close attention to when driving. He has a tendency to drift off and space out sometimes, he was cooking one time and went off into his room and left the pot boiling on the stove while he played video games. If I hadn’t found it we would have been in big trouble. I’m afraid this kind of thing might happen when he gets behind the wheel.
Does anyone have experience with a MR child starting to drive? I could really use some first hand experiences and how people handled the situation. Thanks.
Re: Borderline MR 18yo and driving
Thank you Victoria. I know he wants to drive so badly. I’m just worried for his safety. Maybe he’ll surprise me and become the best driver there is, I dunno.
Re: Borderline MR 18yo and driving
The Washington Post has a traffic columnist named “Dr Gridlock” and this gentleman strongly advocates that parents control the learning to drive process. His arguement is that Driver’s Ed is just the beginning of learning to drive. He recommends that parents log 100 hours with the teenager driving. Drive in all kinds of conditions, traffic, interstate, snow, rain, etc. The idea is to let the new driver get plenty of experience before letting him or her drive on their own. I think this is an excellant idea and plan to do this when my kids are driving.
Re: Borderline MR 18yo and driving
Thank you jerirat. Where we live he will have to get his learner’s permit and keep it three months I think before he can get his license. He just won’t study the book to take the test. He thinks that he learned everything he will ever need to know in driver’s ed.
I am planning on spending a lot of time with him driving before I let him go it alone. My parents never even took me on an interstate. It took a friend of theirs having both hands operated on and needing a ride to his checkup to get me on the interstate. And he gave me the best advice…pick a speed that I was comfortable at. If they passed me, let them pass. If I passed them, just do it right. I still drive like that to this day and I’m 32.
Not firsthand and not my own child, but one of my students. He is now 19, never formally diagnosed but the general suspicion is some kind of PDD. He is inappropriate socially, and tends to turn off and stare into space. He was warehoused in his schooling and left school with about a Grade 2 reading level. I worked with him for much of the past year, up to around a Grade 4 or 5 (slowly) reading level, and he is now holding a job and able to do the necessary paperwork, and is returning to adult ed to try to get a Grade 10 certificate so he can do vocational training.
Anyway, part of his whatever it is maybe PDD syndrome is a fascination with cars. His mother said that he used to go and just sit in the car for hours as a child. He wants to work with cars in some way.
So I was desperate for a ride one day when my car broke down, and I asked him for a lift, praying I’d get there alive. Well, it turns out he’s one of the best young drivers I’ve ever ridden with. He is the only one other than those I have taught who leaves enough space to avoid the car ahead. He keeps a reasonable speed. He checks before switching lanes and changes smoothly. He *likes* driving, and it holds his attention. In fact his father has sent him to do deliveries for the business, four hundred miles across the Canada-US border.
So while I don’t know your boy and every person is different, there is indeed hope.
Get him proper driving training from an old-fashioned and strict instructor who will never bend a single rule and who will take the time to get it right. Get both on-road and (repeated) in-class safety instruction. They all need it repeated and kids with problems even more.