Kindergarten help

I don’t see why you can’t withdraw him and place him in private school if you wish. That said, many people would kill for a school district that wants to test and is already thinking about offering special ed services to a kindergartener. Until you have your child evaluated, you won’t really know what is the issue, but do be careful about refusing services your child may really need and benefit from out label fear. Some school districts are better than others, some special ed programs and services are better than others, so be sure you know IN DETAIL what you are dealing with. In some places special ed is a warehouse. In others, it is well done. My child went from private school into a public school self-contained class in second grade. He got what he needed, “graduated” from special ed in 5th grade, was accepted by a private school for gifted kids in 6th grade and now is a top-knotch, A student. He still has LDs and his current school knows that and that he came out of a special ed program. It hasn’t stopped them from regarding him as the bright and capable child he is. Had he limped along in regular ed without receiving the services he got by his special ed placement, I seriously doubt he would even have managed to get accepted into his current school.

Thank you so much for your response. I agree, I need to have him evaluated first before I can make my decision. But because I have this problem with his school teacher, and now his after school teacher, I feel like they just don’t want to deal with him anymore. It gets very difficult to handle, especially when everyday you get nothing but complaints. He is also very frustrated, and I know he is reacting in rebellion to what he goes through at school. That is why I feel maybe it would be best to pull him out of regular school, and have him go to a private preschool, or something.

I HIGHLY recommend looking into alternatives like Montessouri. We used alternative schools for both of our ADHD-type kids and never had to resort to medication, even though both were pretty severly hyper in their early years. They are both VERY bright and VERY inquisitive, and hated doing things just because someone else told them to.

There were a couple of good studies back in the ’70s that showed that while ADHD kids in a regular clasroom stood out like a sore thumb, teachers were unable to distinguish ADHD kids from “normal” kids in an open classroom setting where the kids had some control over their time and over their activities. Montessouri is a perfect kind of a setting for a bright, active child as you describe. I hope you give it full consideration, because we found that the educational setting makes all the difference between a child feeling that there is something wrong with them and a child who learns self-control in a way that respects and values their strengths and special abilities.

Good luck!

Thank you……What are your thoughts on taking him out of kindergarten alltogether, in the middle of the school year, as opposed to leaving him there untill the end of the year, May or June. The reason I ask is that I don’t think he’s going to make it till then. His teachers are allready frustrated and so am I. It’s not his fault, and I would like to just get him out of there as soon as possible. Do you think this is not a good idea?

You have to weigh the advantages and disadvantages; this is not an easy decision.

If you keep him in the present situation, you are setting him up for failure — he and the school are rubbing each other the wrong way, and he will be a “troublemaker” in thier eyes. But if you take him out and he doesn’t go to kindergarten at all, then it may be hard to get the system to accept him back — they might take it as a sign that he is not able to go into a regular class.

I would say to look at alternative school programs first. If you do pull him out, set up a formal homeschooling system, keeping records and protfolios of his work, and possibly buying a curriculum from a reputable homeschool organization; then when you want to integrate him back, it wasn’t the negative choice that he wasn’t going to school, it was a positive choice for homeschooling and you can prove that he is bright and can do age-appropriate work. You don’t say you took him out of school, you say you preferred to home-educate him — silly as this distinction may sound, it can become important.

I have to add a caution to what Steve said. Research from the 1970’s always has to be looked at with a critical eye because people were trying a number of extreme changes then, and bias comes into the issue even more than usual. I have a most interesting book from England comparing open style classrooms and traditional clasrooms; when all other factors were worked out, the traditional classrooms came ahead every time. The only kids who did better in open class settings were *low achieving* boys. Unless he is a low achiever, be cautious of such settings. Montessori is quite another issue, *not* an open classroom in this sense if it is well run.

Thank you. Point well taken. However, I’m not looking into homeschooling. Since I am a single mother, I have to work, and this is part of my problem. I really want to place him somewhere where he will be well cared for, and where he is also learning at his age level as you say. I don’t want him to fall completely behind, but at the rate we’re are going with the public school, I’m afraid they will fail him. I don’t know if I’m being paranoid, I’m just looking at all the options.

thanks again,
MS

Well, if you pull him out of kindergarten, where would he go? Does he have a family caretaker who could do some homeschooling activities with him?

No, you are not being paranoid. It is best to jump on these things right away, so your son does not start to think of himself as “bad in school” or think of education as something painful.

As for the comment regarding open classrooms, I am sure Victoria is correct about the general research; however, I believe our “ADHD” kids ARE “low achievers” in normal classrooms, and that the ones who do best in open classrooms are exactly the kids who get the ADHD diagnosis. It certainly proved true for us: both of our ADHD-type boys did very well with both homeschooling and in alternative schools where they had more control over time and subject studies. My middle child, who would not qualify for such a diagnosis, needed a lot more prodding and was not very productive in the same environment.

Bottom line is, different environments work for different kids. Best to find a workable environment right off the bat, rather than trying to force your child to be something they can not be and end up feeling bad about themselves. It’s not paranoid, it’s being a good parent, IMHO.

to be able move to an environment that is more appropriate to your child’s needs is wonderful.

but it doesn’t sound as if you are very sure what those needs are. If the school is offering evaluation, take them up on it. If they are not offering and you feel that things are not going well, make a request in writing for evaluation.

You seem to be waffling about. Is it the teacher? Is it the program? Or does your child have needs that require more than the usual program? An eval will give you a better idea.

You need to nip this in the bud…and if you take him out now into a preschool environment he won’t be learning things he needs to know to learn to learn and read I am dealing with a kid was retained in 1st grade for the type of behaviors your son is exhibiting now…He was SO angry when he saw his friends move on and he was stuck in 1st grade. I had to do another assessment because he is FAILING first grade AGAIN….guess what…this kid can’t read because he he can’t focus, you can just imagine the stories he told me during the assessment when time after time I caught him zoning….:-D He is the class clown, cute as a button, etc…his ADHD is out of control…and finally the mom is getting him help because she sees what we see at school and she is just as frustrated as we are…

So if they are offering to test you son go for it….You owe it to him to figure out what is going on….and if your son is as sharp as you say he is…I wonder how your son would feel going from kinder back to preschool?

How would a Montessori school help? Aren’t Montessori schools highly structured? Always remember as well that private schools do not have to sccept your child, and can at any time tell you to pull them out! Many do not have the psychologists(to test) available either.

I thought Montessouri was all about spontaneous activity. Yes, they have structured centers for activities where the kids have to follow the directions, but they get to decide where to go and how long to stay there, at least at the one Montessouri school I have seen in action. So you have structure plus flexibility, which is what I found worked really well for my kids.