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Is this normal?

Submitted by an LD OnLine user on

I live in MS. Here before a child can be evaluated, he has to go through a series of interventions lasting no more than 16 weeks. Well, my 11 yr old is on his second intervention with no success.
At the beginning of the year he was a good student who kept up ok in his other grades except for math. He has become very frustrated and angry, calling himself stupid and dumb. Now his other grades are slipping and he has started to get into a lot of trouble.
The lead teacher at his school, who is the one I have to go through, seems to think the behavior and academic problems are totally unrelated. My husband agrees. My son has never been a behavior problem, but has struggled with math since the third grade. This year has been especially hard and he knows there is no way he is going to pass.
It seems so clear to me that all this frustration has got to surface somewhere. Am I totally off base here?
Yesterday, Erik was written up again and I was in class and the school could not get me, so they called my husband. They wanted to know if they should suspend him or paddle him. My husband said paddle him. I was so angry. He is already angry and frustrated enough.
Help me out here. Is this normal? He is being punished, but should I be harder on him. I feel like I should hold back until something can be resolved at school.
Mary

Submitted by CAMom on Fri, 02/04/2005 - 9:21 PM

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PS— I wrote you a note with my thoughts on the Teaching ADHD student topic, but here’s a PS. My husband and I tried the spanking route (no more than four or five times in his life) when our son was younger. It never accomplished a thing. If anything, it only made him feel more frustrated and resentful. IMO, it’s the school’s responsibility to help a struggling child, and I can’t see how paddling him can possibly accomplish that!

Submitted by Anonymous on Fri, 02/04/2005 - 9:53 PM

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Thanks, CAmom
I agree. My family has always been very corporal punishment oriented. I was raised that way and so was my husband. We are the younger in our families so we have grown nephews. Every one that was spanked turned out to be productive citizens. The only one that never got spanked is a no good 28 yr old member of society. But spanking has only seemed to make things worse with Erik. It has certainly never corrected any behaviors. I am trying to get my husband to see that.
I probably should not have posted on every board, but I was so frustrated and I wanted as much feedback as I could get.
I just can’t believe that people can’t see that these children need help.

Mary

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