Why is it always the teachers fault?

Tessa.

You make some excellent points.

Your experiences are the rule not the exception. I have heard parents sing the raises of that one dedicated teacher who does do his or her job and puts in a full day and then some. That one dedicated teacher we hear about proves the point that the problem with our educational system lies squarely on the shoulders of our teachers. Mrs Goodteacher educates her students and finds her job rewarding. Parents like and students like Mrs Goodteacher. Her principal likes her and wishes he had more teachers like her.

What would our schools be like if all the teachers were like Mrs Goodteacher? The simple answer is a heck of alot better!

Tessa, I too have dyslexia and with hard work it is now managable. Your dyslexia can be remediated to the point that the only one who knows you have it is you.

I bet that most of your teachers were quite clueless when it came to understanding the nature of your acedemic struggles. The disorder they call dyslexia effects more than just reading. Most teachers are uneducated about the true nature on dyslexia. For instance, if a dyslexic reverses letters and numbers he will also reverse facial expression. Do teachers even consider the ramifications of that? Along with dyslexia dysgraphia is often present.

Are most educators even aware that the cause of dyslexia may vary from student to student?

Are SPED teachers even aware that different fonts and different techniques can ease dyslexic symptoms for some student or is that considered secret and forbidden knowledge.

I think Tessa, you will be a Mrs Goodteacher. You will show care and dedication. You will know how to take the initative and indetify a problem and come up with a solution instead of hiding behind the wall of apathy and mediocrity. You know what is is to strive for excellence and when you model that behavior for your students they will learn that behavior instead of the helplessness that they are being taught by teacher woh just don’t care enoough to do their jobs well..

Best of luck in your carreer.

Very true! Almost every person that I have spoken with and originally told them about Dyslexia…they immediately think and sometimes even say “ohhhh, that’s where you turn letters around and the words are all mixed up on the page.” That is one reason why some lables are not good at all…I think it is important for teachers to know what they are dealing with…but there are too many generalizations.

So…Jerry it sounds like you have basically learned how to deal with your disability…I am basically there too (I think). My worst problem…and the one that really drives me nuts is my memory, and especially my directional problems. I sometimes wonder if I have something else, because my directional problems render me helpless in a Walmart and I’m not even kidding!

People normally are very surprised when I first tell them I have a learning disabilty (if I ever tell them). They tell me they would have never known. Very few people know to the extent of my current…and especially past difficulties.

Thank you very much for your kind words! I realized lastyear when I decided for sure on special education that…that was for me! I am still extremely nervious…how will other teachers treat me…how about parents.

I am not about keeping my disability a secret…it won’t be the first thing I blurt out when I start a conversation but if we are talking about our pasts I won’t skip around on details.

Thank you!

Wal-Mart throws many people for a loop. Because I drive a small car I have to make a mental note which row I parked it in among all those dreadful SUVs. I know all about getting lost. Sometimes I think I would need a road map for the Indianapolis 500.

Dyslexia is a symptom of a processing glitch going on in the brain. I need to be more up on the science of it but let is suffice to say that the malfunction in your brain that causes your dyslexia is likely causing other problems

I think when you start teaching you will be a breath of fresh air to parents so long as their LD kids are achieving and not all stressed out. You may be a threat to the status quo. Most bright and caring people are.

Good for you, Tessa, I agree that we need more teachers like you, teachers with the “heart.” The hardest part about the job for you, I predict, will not be working with the students, the parents, or the administrators (well, maybe!), but doing the paperwork that goes with this job. I happen to be very good at it, but I have met some special ed teachers who are good at everything BUT THAT! And it is an important part of the job, and is SO HARD to be good at both… therein lies the catch22 for teachers, I think, we are asked to be good at everything!

The list of what teachers study at the teacher college “GUEST” was recommending as a model program is a good example. I didn’t see “reading” on that list, although English was; they are not the same thing! It takes an expert in READING to teach a child to read, and most of our teachers take ONE 3 unit course in reading. I am of the opinion that first year teachers should not be teaching first or second grade, it is just too important of a year for the students, and too overwhelming for new teachers. I also didn’t see “paperwork,” “running meetings,” “writing IEPs” or “testing” on that list, yet our jobs require us to be experts on these things too.

I think my early experiences could be instructive here — I had an awful first year as a teacher. I was teaching sixth grade (looking back, I thank God I wasn’t first or second)! My first principal decided I was the world’s worst teacher and made it her goal that year to get rid of me. I got a nasty note (usually typed, so I knew she was “documenting” it) from her on average every two or three days. Her first evaluation of me, six weeks after starting the job, was 26 pages long, and all of it was bad! Now, you would think I was one of the incompetents who should never have gone into teaching, right? But not because of any of the reasons “GUEST” identified, because I aced the SAT, the GRE, the LSAT and every other test I’ve taken. I had a 3.89 GPA in college and a 4.0 in grad school. I just don’t believe any of those things predict success in teaching. So what was wrong with me in my first job as a teacher?

Well, for me, it was a combination of being in the wrong school district and the wrong administration. Nobody teaches you in teacher training college about “school politics” and I got off on the wrong foot with just about everyone, from the principal to the VP, to the school secretaries and janitors! I used to work until 9PM every night, and the janitor complained to the principal that I left my window open at night (I was still there after he’d gone home!)… I was disorganized and didn’t know who to ask for help, and I asked the wrong people, who promptly decided I was incompetent. Well, you ask, why did I stay?

I knew I wanted to go into special education, and I was in a grad school program to get my special ed credential. I had some classes with other principals who told me I was getting the short end of the stick in this job, and I should ask to change. I went to see my Union president, who informed me that this particular principal always picked one new teacher to “drum out” of the profession every year, and this year it was me. At his suggestion, I asked the district for a transfer to a new school, and they agreed. That was another clue that it wasn’t all “me.”

I also switched grades, to Kindergarten, and I was working opposite a very experienced teacher (I was afternoon, she was morning) from whom I was able to watch and learn. The principal was a very different person; for one thing, she didn’t tire us out with meetings. At the other school, we’d had three hour meetings after school, three days a week, after which we then had to go back to our classrooms to grade and prepare for the next day. This principal had 10 minute meetings before school, once a week. Everything else that needed to be communicated she put in a memo.

Well, now teaching was a completely different story, and I started to enjoy it. This was a long term sub position, and after two months they found someone permanent, so I went on to sub at many other districts and in many types of classrooms, including special ed. Some of those were offered to me as a permanent job, they liked me so much. But I was enjoying subbing so much I decided just to spend that year as a sub and figure out what to do next. The next year I was a special ed “intern” (before anyone else had heard of that), and had great support from my grad school, both on- and off-site. It’s hard to be a “bad” teacher when you’re getting great ideas and plenty of help implementing them, and you see how much you are helping the students!

Well, here it is 20 years later, and I would have to say now that I am probably one of the best special ed teachers I know! I care about my students, I know how to form a rapport with them, gain their trust, motivate them to give their best, etc. I know how to teach even dyslexic kids how to read and spell, and catch up to grade level. My students make an average of 1.5 years progress in a year, instead of falling further behind. And I can do the testing, reports, IEPs, write goals, run a meeting, communicate with parents and staff, and all the other myriad tasks required of me. Did I get good at this overnight? No, of course not, that’s why I described how I started out!

Do I believe some teachers should be sacked? Yes, I do believe some should, but in all my years and all the different schools I’ve taught in, those teachers are few and far between, I’d say no more than one per school. There is a teacher at my school right now who I would have said that about a few years ago. She has a doctoral degree in Music and thinks she knows everything, and has no patience for our “urban” kids, blames everything on the kid or their parents, etc. Luckily, our administration is onto her, they are putting pressure on her to change, and I have to admit, they are making an impact and she had improved tremendously in the last two years. Thus I’d say that the teacher who told “GUEST” that every teacher in his school (except for him, notably!) was rather overstating the case. Maybe if you’d asked someone else, they would have pointed to him as the problem teacher!

Bottom line — teaching is a very difficult job, and it is very difficult to judge, much less prove, what is a good teacher. I would classify it more as an art than a science, more an avocation than a profession. I know that administrators would love to have some “quantifiable” measurement that could tell them what a good teacher is, and more importantly who will make a good teacher in a few years, but I believe most of the primary requirements for a good teacher, such as the ability to form a rapport with students, are simply not quantifiable. It’s like art: you know it when you see it.

Yes, there is much wrong with our educational system. But it is not the teachers, not in my opinion. Right now there are changes afoot which will probably drive many more highly-qualified, dedicated teachers, including me, right out of the profession. Finding new ones will be an even bigger problem. Guest, you are invited to apply for a job, and let’s hear from you again in a few years!

I came here looking for a teacher point of view. I have had a problem this year with a teacher and her reward methods. I feel they set my son up for failure.

I actually sat here and read all these messages looking for answers. Am I being to hard on this teacher? She excludes him from rewards because he is in the resource room. She tells him this reason and now he resents going to the resource room.

I know it is hard for the teacher to have an LD/Dyslexic student in their classroom but why be so unsensitive.

He is held to the same standards as the rest of the class. Yes being held responsible for his actions and completing assignments.

He is in first grade- second time. Dyslexic, fine motor difficulty, speech for language skills. Diagnosed Feb last year privately - not recognized by school until nov 2004

Behavior chart - He has to be caught being good. Ok but he is only in her class for half of the day must earn equal points as the students in there the full day.

Lunch in the classroom - must complete several projects by the end of day. Has 2 hours less than the rest of the class to complete this because the resource class.

Free day no work - names drawn from hat. My son excluded because he is the resource room for part of the day. Told to him infront of class.

Reading chart - caught reading during free time. My son is in resource room during free time yet he still had to earn the same amount of points to eat lunch with teacher as the rest of the class.

Are we teaching him responsibility? Are we teaching him failure? Each of these rewards were done several times during the year. How many times do you think it will take before he feels failure, will he no longer want to try, before he doesnot see a reason to try. What is it that he has learned?

[color=green]Sometimes it is not making it easier but just making it fair[/color]. This teacher wanted to make him try harder.

He is a dsylexic 7 yrs old repeating first grade because the school knew it was just the case of a summer birthday. This boy knows what hard work is why does he need to feel these extra failures to learn responsiblities concerning his motivation.

My son has to work twice as hard to learn what comes easier to most. Then he has to do double time to earn rewards.

Am I being to hard on the teacher? I know it is not an easy job but is this helping?

I do not want my son think he does not have to try or work hard but he needs to feel enough sucess to emotionally continue.

It only takes one teacher to break him and take a group of us to pour in the glue and hope it sticks.

It is not easy for the teacher or the parent but we are forgetting one very important thing. We are all part-timers here. We get to walk away - take a break - forget for awhile. [color=green]My son will never have that privilege[/color].

I do not want to blame anyone but I do not understand why somethings are done in the classroom. Are decision made for the class as a whole or for individual success? Am I wrong to ask for individual success when it does make teaching harder?

Harder I cant believe I just wrote that. I do not want to make it harder for the teacher but making it harder for the student teaches them responsibility for their education. Ok I just gave myself a headache. Is there a right answer here?[size=18][/size][size=24][/size]

I am very concerned for my son.

Anne,
You should print out your letter and take it to the Principal and discuss your concerns.
It seems that you have one of those Teachers who believe that the explanation for any Learning Disorder, is simply that a Student is “not trying hard enough”.
This Teacher is causing major damage by handing out punishment in response to your Sons efforts!
At his formative stage in life, this will just embed an attitude of why bother trying, when all that results, is that I get punished?
Which can then become a life-long attitude?
A Teacher can do no greater damage to a Child, than to destroy their motivation to learn! Which establishes a life-long attitude of ‘Why Bother’?
Unfortunately their are many Teachers who rather than taking the time to understand different Learning Orders, take the simple attitude that it’s just a case of the Student not trying hard enough.
Though they also often like to add that it’s probably a result of ‘bad parenting’.
Yet, when this approach/ ignoring of a Student, inevitably results in them misbehaving.
They then have the escape clause of, “well it must be ADD or ADHD”?
Welcome to the ‘battle’ that millions of other Parents are daily involved in.
Where each new year and new Teacher, means starting all over again?
The most important thing, is to get everything in writing and keep a written record of everything.
This is your only weapon in the battle.

Geoff.

HI Anne,

I agree with Geoff, that in this case the teacher truly is being unfair. However, you do need to document this carefully, and if you approach it right, you should be able to make some changes for the better for your son. Since the school year is almost over, it may not help much this year, but the process is the same for ANY year/class where you believe your son is being treated unfairly. Here are my suggestions

1) You need to schedule a conference with the teacher where she tells you the same thing she told your son in front of the class, and her reasons for it. You could start with, “My son says this is your policy, can you explain this to me?” If she won’t admit to it, that means she KNOWS she is being unfair, and you will have to do some “observation” to prove it, get other student witnesses, etc. so that will be a little harder, but you can still do it.

2) If she does admit it, and explains her thinking to you politely, you will also smile politely, and tell her why you feel this is unfair to him. You could propose a more equitable solution right off the bat: he should be held accountable for gaining exactly half of the same points everyone else has to earn for the rewards, because he is only there half of the time. If it is not quite half, then adjust the points accordingly. She should be able to explain this to HER WHOLE CLASS in a way that makes sense, and everyone can agree is fair, both to him and everyone else.

3) If she refuses, then you will go home and document everything that was said to the best of your ability in a letter that starts out with: I just want to summarize what we discussed today (date) at (time) in your classroom (or wherever). You said… I said… you felt… I asked… and just outline the whole conversation. Ask her to clarify anything you have misunderstood, and again make a reasonable request for her to rectify the situation.

4) If she does not reply IN WRITING to either confirm or deny your version of events, then your version of what happened STANDS, as much as if it were a recorded conversation. You should also send a xerox copy of the letter exactly as written (with cc at the bottom) to the principal, both to notify him/her of what is going on, and also to notify the teacher that you are holding her accountable for this.

5) Next step would be to schedule an appointment with the principal or vp, whoever is in charge of special ed students at your school, to see if they will take responsibility and step in, either forcing the teacher to make the changes or pulling him from her class and putting him with a different teacher (they must reprimand the teacher if they do this). Either way the message to your son is that, yes, he was right to be angry about being treated unfairly, and also that you will stick up for him when this happens.

Research shows that one of the only things that stands between an LD student and some of the more dire outcomes that plague such students is for him to have at least one parent who is squarely “in his corner” and willing to fight for his rights. That doesn’t mean you never believe ill of him, or “enable” him to become a poor student, encourage learned helplessness, etc. But it does mean you’ll stick up for him when it counts, giving him the best chance you can to learn and become successful, and it seems to me that this is one of these times.

thank you for this list. I wish I had found this site at the beginning of the year. There is only one week left but I have to say I am very afraid for my son. She has the entire class thinking they are his boss. She took peer tutoring/assigned bubby on his IEP to an extreme. All classroom intructions where done through a telephone line. She will tell everything to a buddy which was anyone next to him and they would tell him what to do. She said it was because he would only listen to them. She just knew that if she explained it and he did not get she would have to re-explain it and that would take time. Now he has a classroom full of bosses and they love it and abuse it.

I have a meeting on Monday to discuss traits for his next year teacher. Should I bring anything up about this teacher or just let it go.

I would so love for her to justifiy herself to me but it would be for me. The assistant principle did not do anything for him. I have brought many things up all year verbally not in writting.

I will no better next time but I hope there will not be a next time.

Hi Anne,

Hmm, only one week left. I would still document what happened this year in a letter to the assistant principal and principal both; maybe it will help another kid in her class next year at least, as well as let your son know you fought for him. Oh, and let him know how proud you are of him for making it through this difficult year!

The other thing you can add in the letter is that you want special consideration given to his teacher for next year. They are probably going to say that they cannot give him special treatment, and this is true to a point, but they know which teachers work best with LD students and which don’t. You should list his learning characteristics and special needs, processing weaknesses as listed in his IEP, etc. and just note that you will be watching to ensure that his needs are met, that a Free and Appropriate Public Education is being given to him, that he is progressing in the general education curriculum, meeting his goals, and that all accomodations and modifications specified in the IEP are being implemented. This will put them on notice that you are on top of this, and I think they will be more careful to make sure and give him a teacher who can and will do her best for him.

The new IDEA, which goes into effect this July, by the way, has some sanctions, for the first time, for schools that are out of compliance with it — they can lose federal funding. I think it will make sure schools are a little more careful to really follow through, and knowing this may empower parents, at least that is the hope. I sincerely hope your son will have a better year next year! Do look into some good intervention programs over the summer for him. I wish the schools would be giving him the help he really needs, but for many schools this is a pipedream. The best research-based programs are out there, they are just mostly in the private sector. See my website, below, for some general information and some places to start….

I will put it in writting. The hard part will be to actually turn it in.

half way through the year they put my son in the resource room and it may have cause more problems in the reg classroom but it saved him educationally. He jumped an entire grade level in 4 months.

I think it made the reg class teacher more angry at my son because she said he would not do the work and learn yet look what happened. The resource room team was very helpful in their attempts to balance out her negativity.

This last week is going to be hard because well now it is review, fun and games. The resource room is over and now he has to be in her classroom the whole day. Yes this scares me. We have an open door policy. I am feeling the urge to spend the entire day up there to protect him.

Anne,

From now on, when something is occuring in the classroom that is unfair to your child, you need to call an IEP team meeting if you do not feel it is something that you and the teacher can work out alone. There were many ways to work the points out. Either the LD teacher could have contributed points for her half of the day, or the regular teacher should have required him to accumulate half the number of the full day students.

There will always be issues that we as parents have to confront. If the homework takes your child twice as long as other kids, then it needs to be modified. A frequent problem for reading LD kids is when they collect points for reading accelerated reader books. The goal for each student should be individual and private! You have to stand up for your child when things are unfair because there are just some teachers who don’t get it. I do this as a special ed. teacher frequently, too. Regular classes will decide to go out to play and forget to come get the child in resource. Naturally kids will hate resource when they feel they are being punished by being denied the fun parts of school!

I have to say, though, the drawing names for two students to do no work that day is a little bizzare, I think. This teacher does need some correction in her classroom management or many other children will suffer.

Janis

Hi

I answered to another post you made. I didn’t realize that the last week would be just with this classroom teacher. I wouldn’t want my child in this situation for a week. I’d either go on holiday a week early or volunteer to help everyday. This teacher has been on a power trip and your child is powerless and is felt to be powerless by others. I would opt for the early holiday-I’d tell the school something else.

If resource is done, then why put him in the no-win situation?

Hi mmm,
Yes I was thinking much the same, perhaps a stomach bug or the flu?

What is wrong with telling the school the truth? That you believe that keeping him in class for this last week will be very detrimental to him for all the reasons that you’ve listed here?
I have a friend who pulled her son out of third grade in February because the situation with the teacher was so horrible and she made it clear to her son that he wasn’t the problem.
(Don’t encourage your son to lie about being sick - he probably feels conflicted enough)
Have a great summer with your son. You both deserve it.

Just my opinion but it would depend on my relationship with the school. Anne is getting good services from the resource center and wants a good placement for next year. I would focus on those.

My bet is the principal knows about the situation with this classroom teacher but prefers not to have to get into it. I would put my child’s needs and the necessary relationship with the school before a confrontation over a situation that is essentially behind me.

I don’t know that my first choice would be to lie (the child certainly doesn’t have to be involved) but it might be a good time to get those dentist, doctor, optometrist appt. before the summer rush. Or time to get a such a great price on a ticket to see grandma before the summer rush. Or even an offprice ticket to 6 flags or something before the summer rush. Or perhaps the cousins are calling.

Well I just came back from a meeting with the assistant principle, counsilor, and resource teacher. My son will have an open pass to go to the resource at any given monent he feels the need to leave a situation for the last week even thought resource is finished. It will be like CM for emotional breaks. They said they will try their best to find a more suitable match for next year. That is all I can ask for and I believe they will. They did say they have been giving his current teacher advice and next year they will give him a teacher with these skills already in practice.

I feel pretty good about this meeting. I have another meeting at noon to discuss his educational success. I hope it is just a good. [size=18][/size][size=24][/size]

Congratulations!! sounds like a win-win situation. I imagine they will be paying closer attention to next year’s placement.

Yes the first one was good.

I got too emotional for the second one.

It started out good. He going into second at .5 1st graded level but he made so much success in a short amount of time that they have lessen his time in the resource for next year.

It went down hill when we started to talk about his IEP. We talked about why somethings should be change. We made it ok through here. Had discussed most of these areas in the earlier meeting with out the class teacher to avoid extra tension for me talk more freely. Then we went onto behaviors. They told me he needed to except that life is unfair and deal with it maturely. Often failure will ruin his day. Well I opened a can of worms and in defense by saying I think some of the failure could have been avoided. Ex the rewards social intervention from teasing. Then everyone got defensive and it end with it is all because of my parenting skills.

I had to get gas on the way home and had to u-turn three times because i kept missing the turn.

We all tried to leave it on and a good note but ouch. It is not how I wanted it to go.

I ended up crying and they told me I need to let him deal with his life issues. I understand that and I am very protective of him but I still feel that some of his experiences of failure could have been avoided.

I like small meetings better. No more than 4. Not everybody knows all the situations and those people end of doing all the protecting for their peer. How can I help them understand without going over all my examples. I do not think anyone could listen without justifying. Then it is just a battle and it does not benefit my son. I think that happened today.

Right now I just want to pretend that this does not exsist.

Just my humble opinion, but I am NOT an overprotective parent… I’m not even a parent :-)

However, I find it *appalling* that the ADULTS are letting small children run this little show. Just exactly how MATURE is a second grader supposed to be????? I’m talking about the other little twerps in the class. (I think the technology twinged or something, since I can’t find all of the thread for background.) If your kiddo is supposed “handle” things in a mature way — what are the expectations for the other students? It sure doesn’t sound like THEY are handling things in a mature way… oh, but their parents aren’t complaining, so nobody has to DO anything about it. I’m sorry, this sounds like old-fashioned abdication of responsibility.

Okay, I’m vented…

I think this could turn into a “letter of understanding” that could go up the chain of command just to establish that you are duly noting certain problems. And I would ***definitely*** do the “mature” thing and find something to happen besides school for this last week. If your child were “mature” he could quit this job. The school personnel are just trying to survive this week and have “cheated” to do it (with this abdication of responsibility), so you are NOT cheating to take the steps which are within your power to do this.

To play devil’s advocate, though… okay, you don’t want to get yourself or him into the habit of running away when thigns get tough. So… don’t let yourself take the “evasive” action without also figuring out a plan for dealing with the social atmosphere in the best way possible. What are things he can say to other students or the teacher… can he practice something like “Teacher, Jimmy says I”m supposed to…. I just want to clarify that these are the correct instructions. ” Developing a thick skin **is** an incredible advantage; when things dont’ get a rise out of you, people stop messing with you ‘cause they get bored.

Anne - I was wondering. It sounded too good to be true that they rolled over and played nice.

time to get yourself an education on IEP writing, your child’s rights, the joys of documentation, getting an advocate or someone to go with you to meetings and recording meetings. Its time for you to come to the game ready to play. There’s lots of info here on IEP’s go to Ld in depth or do a search. I wouldn’t agree to a decrease in resource until he is at grade level. Its great he has made strides but he needs the resource to keep making them.

Its always after the meeting you think of what to say. Your child is very aware that life is not fair-he lives it every day. But they gave him a really bum deal this year. And you need to arm yourself so that they don’t ever do it again.

time to document everything. Everything in writing.

And lets start a new thread just about this-old ‘starry night’ must be wondering what happened to her discussion!

Hang there-its nearly summer and you won’t let next year be like this year.

yes we, the speech teacher and I, are working with him to use more words. One of his speech goals is “The individual will employ developmentally appropriate communication skills needed for personal, social, and/or education.

This has been since the beginning of the year. He is at 45%. Mastery is at 80%. The teacher is and has been aware of this.

I have been trying to help him understand that if he does not react they may stop and that I understand that it is hard. Well he started to react less but not feel less. The teacher likes this but he occassionally has a breaking point because his peers have authority to tell him what he needs to do and sometimes he just want a break from that. They (school)would say he is sad sometimes but he would not say why. He is not using his words. But they are not asking any questions to get answers. They are waiting for him to do it on his own. Now I am trying to get him to use his words again. The teacher does not want to hear a problem, he needs to just deal with it. I think he is getting a mixed message here. I am going to try to help him find a middle ground.

About this last week - My son has an open pass to leave the classroom at will for this week only. Today has been the first time I have confronted the teacher infront of her peers. I donot know - would she be more sensitive now that there is no question of my son reaction to her class- with the thouhgt maybe she did not realize or did I put him in a bad position.

My friends tell me there is only one week left. Why does this week feel longer than the whole year.

I did tell the school that I think this week is a very important week because this is the week he will remember over the summer and take with him at the start of next year.

Should I still take him out. I do know which could do more harm?

I know as a parent I should protect my 7 yr old but they ensured me that my son would be safe. safe? Emotionally Safe? I think that is harder to detect, witness, it is not always visable. I am so upset I can not hear my gut.

AnneV,
To pick up on your statement: I have been trying to help him understand that if he does not react they may stop and that I understand that it is hard. Well he started to react less but not feel less.
Rather than trying ‘not to react’, a more effective way is to identify and practise ‘other ways’ to react.
To develop scripts for ‘ways to react’ to typical situations which cause problems. Then to rehearse them.
So that when confronted with them, he actually has a practised way to react.
It makes an important difference to have some way to react. Rather ‘no reaction’ at all, which just tends to develop frustration.
Much the same way in which you’ll no doubt rehearse a script for your next meeting with the school?
Rather than going in without any developed ways to react.
The summer break could be an excellent time to develop and practise these?
Geoff.

.

He is fully capable of expressing himself but needs questions to be asked to get him started. The teacher feels she should not have to ask questions. That if he needs to say something he should just say it. We practice situations but he runs into problems when his peers do not listen and continue a behavior he is having a problem with- teasing etc.

What I have been trying to encourage the teacher do is if there is a problem not resolving itself to please intervene. She does not want to intervene and feels that these 6 and 7 yrs old will come to a solution on their own and learn that life is not fair. I do not agree with this. Exspecially since she is aware that he has not mastered the communication goals in speech that effect this process.

It is a bummer that my sons difficulties make her job more challenging but life is not always fair. Sorry it is 5:30am and I have not gone to sleep. It almost time to start another day.

This is not the only area we discuss - her reward methods!! - but it just the one that is bothering me the most right now.

I walked in feeling good about next year and left crushed. I am going to look into a child avocacy(sp?) I heard that the school has to supply one if requested. Is this true?

Sorry Starry night I just caught on to what mmm said.
Anne

Hi,

I think the main problem is that teachers aren’t trained well enough to know if a child has a learning difficulty.If teachers could detect that a student has a learning difficulty in the early stages of primary school, a lot more can be done to help a child.Teachers, can therefore ask for Integration Aids and so on.Unfortunately, if parents aren’t able to see if a child has a learning difficulty in early primary school, the problem may go unnoticed for years by the school.

Regards,

Anne-why don’t you start a new thread on Parenting Ld or join schwablearning.org and post on their message board, click on connecting to find it.

I think that there are experienced people who could help you write a great IEP and guide you through some of the intricacies of working with schools. I really encourage you to use the boards. Others may try to sidetrack with comments and vents. Stay focused on getting productive, constructive information.

What your child experienced was not okay. And the school should not have allowed it. You need to let them know that. And there are ways to do it firmly and productively.

I have one under emotional roller coaster in parenting LD. I would definitly like more feed back there. Thank you

OK…posting after 30min of explaining visually why you don’t do something with the 5yro APD + SI Disorder 5yro!!!! While explaining…she repeated back to me why it was unsafe to do this..then elaberated on what could happen. She got it…right???? (as this happens alot!)
CLINCHER: As soon as I left the room she did it anyway!!! ERRRR!!!
OK, some of this is age..as I had one “normal” child„,the 14yro boy…Our 11yro APD and SI dis. girl did this stuff too…but I never had the seemingly “trying” behaviors the 5yro gives me…BUT…I spanked with alot less BS with the 11yro..and the 14yro I spanked with no hesitation when the 11yro and 14yro would “try” me with dangerous behaviors or totally DISRESPECTFUL behavior.

Please don’t get me wrong..I’m not “spank happy” but I don’t have difficulty using it when all else fails! (time-outs are a JOKE with the girls..unless you have 100 ft of duck tape to tie them to a chair..LOL..oops…that would be a restraint..LOL)

Basically…do you ever think…or do you all ever think that some of a childs behavior is a lack of discipline at home? Although I would not go announcing this to my LEA as she called child and youth on a child w/behavior problems she failed to address properly although many teachers have voice thier concerns to her and it was pushed back on the parenting…as a result of many things the child developed Renal retention..and then eventally it had to go somewhere and he would smear on himself in school and stink. The Administration called child and youth on the parents. After farther testing and then pretty muched forced interventions..the child is doing GREAT!!! No more problems. Grades have come up greatly and problem behaviors have ceased.

Therefore„„I don’t want to anounce I spank or I may have my kids removed and put in emotional termoil because of problems the SD doesn’t know how to address either.

TG it hasn’t gotten to this point w/ us…but I do spank and my kids are nothing but respectful and hardworking in school. Both of my schoolage kids ( 14 & 11yro) are succeeding…even the 11yor despite her “problems”…WE, the teacher and us, work hard TOGETHER to make the good behavior possible along with success and nooooooo passing the buck because of “Learning difficulties”! Although with somethings…the LEA is in the way with thier budget concerns…..could you imagine the success and self esteem boost the 11yro would get if the LEA would be removed from the situation to get needed services for our child and the Reg Ed teacher…

But anyway…despite LDs and things…I think alot of the childs attitude comes from what they grow up in. Now..that can be bad for me because the 14.5yro boy got the teen boy attitude & hormones going..but NEVER disrespectful to school staff, that I’m aware of, and believe me, I in contact with teachers..LOL…report cards have consistant Honors and Advanced.

I want our daughters to be aware of thier difficulties and LEARN skills to make up for the deficits they cause…but NOT>NOT>NOT use them for a EXCUSE!

Sorry to ramble..as I have these concerns you’ve expressed w/your students.
Binky