Our daughter just entered h.s. and everything has gone down hill, especially with grades. She did fine in middle school and seemed interested in her subjects and was getting mostely A’s and B’s.
She is very frustrated and does have emotional difficulties but can very eloquently state her case for why she wants to get out of her school. She feels she is not getting a good education, the teachers can’t teach because the classes are large (30 kids) and she is worried she won’t get into college because of her grades. She’s had adjustments made to her schedule to reduce the anxiety she was experiencing and has extended time to complete homework assignments, but she still wants to go somewhere else. She says she wants to learn but she is not learning anything in h.s.
We went through a phase of wanting to be homeschooled or to go to a boarding school. We are back to the private school thing again but we don’t have the money to do three years of boarding school then high school.
Sometimes I wonder if we should really bite the bullet and give it a try.
How can you tell if a private school will be a better choice for a child with LD.
Frustrated Mom
Re: Daughter w/LD hates H.S.
It can be *really* hard to get public funding for a private school that specifically addresses special needs;it would be even harder (though not necessarily impossible) to make the case that a “regular” private school could provide the appropriate education the public school can’t. You’d have to have that documented need and then a lot of evidence that the public school wasn’t providing it, and that the private school could. Unfortunately, students whose grades take a nose dive are probably a dime a dozen — it’s probably pretty normal :-( :-( (and yes, it makes me angry).
Have you thought about dual credit options at a community college? There are “developmental” level courses that are at a high school level. It’s not something advertised but if she wants to get out of the zoo badly enough it could perhaps be a carrot for senior year, if not sooner.
Basically, you want to find soemthing structured enough so that she will have to be learning and doing school stuff — if in the past she has done that, when the work has been appropriate, then it is well worth finding a way to set up a better situation, even if it means thinking ‘way out of the box.
(My personal bias is that I hated HS too & dropped out to go to college…LDs weren’t an issue though study skills were)
Re: Daughter w/LD hates H.S.
I work as a tutor with kids in similar situations. Sometimes — no guarantees but it’s worth a try — having a tutor who can fill in those gaps in learning skills, and who can also be a sounding board for the hassles of adapting to high school, can turn the situation around. Just understanding what the work expectations are is often a major step to succeeding in the work; and having a resonsible adult who is not Mom agreeing with you that the assignment is *&$% can make it much more bearable to jump through the silly hoops that are often required. It’s worth looking around and seeing if you can find a tutor who will work flexibly with your child on stdy skills for two or three hours a week. Make sure you get a person who is “on the kid’s side” and is also really knowledgeable about academics. (Warning — some tutors are poorly-trained elementary teachers and can’t do algebra either, not good to share ignorance) Cheaper and less stressful than changing schools in mid-year, and worth trying for at least a couple of months.
Re: Daughter w/LD hates H.S.
(Oh, and some tutors are such whizzes at algebra that “this is easy!” … except sometimes it isn’t…. but you probably already know taht a good tutor match takes some shopping :-) )
But YES, a genuinely sympathetic ally that can push through some of the muck with you can make a huge difference.
Re: Daughter w/LD hates H.S.
As a young guy (29).. It was not that long ago I was in your daughter shoes and I can relate to the problem she is having. I learned better one on one than I did in a class room.. So I homeschooled.. I got a GED went off to college and I beat my friends to college. I got out was a battle but I did fine and now coach baseball.. Now I know not everyone will agree the way I did it but if the player(daughter) is not happy it will be worst.. But at the sametime you have to draw the line… I agree Public funding if you can get it do it… Like rehab serivce throught State is a good start…
Re: Daughter w/LD hates H.S.
Is acedemia really her thing? Is she even college material? It wouldn’t be a crime if she wasn’t.
I do think that going the GED route is a good plan. Even her know that is an option might take the pressure off her.
It is a shame her gudance counselor can’t help her out some with the adjustment from Jr High to Highschool.
Then again, she need to know how to handle difficult situations and adapt to make the best of them because that is what is instore for her in her life.
Re: Daughter w/LD hates H.S.
I am a learning disabled student going into special education…I am currently in my third year of college.
First of all, it is important that your daughter understands that if college is what she wants…college is what she can get. I had people tell me in middle school that college was out of range for me…and I’ve been doing very well in college. I’ve been on the Dean’s list every Semester! I’m not saying that this is where all students can be, but it is possible.
I would say especially if your daughter did so well in middleschool (As and Bs!!!). I was educationally at a second and third grade level in middle school, and I made it!
It sounds like your daughter is having some transition problems. I’m not saying that the teachers/school is not at fault, because that is also part of it. I know from experience and though my classes that changes are VERY difficult for learning disabled studetns to adjust to. It might take a year to get your daughter on track.
First of all, make sure that the regular teachers are following your daughter’s IEP…I hope she has one. I wish I knew more information… Maybe I missed something. I am very much in the beliefe that LD students should be included in the regular educacation program, but some one-on-one attention (if possible) is very helpful.
It is wonderful that you are willing to homeschool your child…that truely saved me because she was able to teach me how to read, and she also…most importantly…taught me how to teach myself.
Find something that your daughter and call back on. Maybe she is an excellent typer…I am and I type everything so I have all of the information right in front of me when I’m trying to understand directions/lecters. Maybe she is wonderful at music…the special educatoin teacher should try to figure out how to work in her strenghs into her education.
It seems like things were really working for her in middleschool, the teachers should find out what worked and transfer that into high school. Large classes are hard to work with, but they are NOT impossible.
Hi,
I can imagine how your daughter is feeling, having been through this with my oldest son. You can’t know for sure, of course, but most private schools allow you to go and observe, to get a feel for the place, so check more closely into any that you might be willing to consider. You know your daughter well, so go and pay a visit (without her at first) and see if you can picture her enjoying the activities and classes, connecting with these teachers, hanging out with these kids, etc. You should get a good picture of class sizes, educational philosophy, support available, etc. from such a visit also.
Have you thought of asking for NPS funding from your school district, if your daughter has an IEP (I assume she does)? If your daughter’s grades have been falling since she entered high school, you may have a case that they are not meeting her educational needs. I did this with my son, and got him into a private school for LD kids for the first two years of high school. It was the hardest but also the best thing I did for him, to pull him out of the mainstream like that, but I knew he wasn’t going to make it if I didn’t do something. After two years, HE decided he wanted to go back to regular high school, did a dual placement for one year, and then returned his Sr. year to graduate from the neighborhood high school. I was very proud of him because he had to work hard to do it, but it came from him, not me.
Anyway, you are in the best place to make an objective decision about it at this point, not your daughter. Just remember that 14-15 year olds are at their most emotional, so as much as they want “control” of their lives, they aren’t really ready for it yet. You should be the one to make this decision, based on her best interests… Hope this helps, let us know how things go!