Thanks for listening. We went tonight for the first meeting for the college that our son has chosen - a local, informational meeting for students who may or may not have made up their minds about where to attend. It is our son’s and our first jump back into the real world - not the sheltered environment of the ld private school. First off, darn it, he was too dressed up. We had not met the college admissions official and wanted to make a good impression. So, we directed our son to wear slacks and a dress shirt. He decided to go further and wear a tie and jacket. Oh! He was the only one dressed - all the rest of the kids were California casual - shorts, sweatshirts, jeans. It went OK, but I was very much reminded of Richard Lavoie’s “hidden agenda”. He/we have much to learn about “fitting in”. He’s an only child, 6’6” - not the kind who easily blends in. He seems OK. Just a mother’s worry. We have a school visit in a few weeks. I know we’ll try again, but it is scary.
Re: First dose of college reality
Oh no!!!! I’m sure it will get better too. In the meantime take your son to a store like American Eagle or Abercrombie and stock up on some casual clothes. That should help him feel more comfortable (at least that’s what my daughter would recommend!).
Re: First dose of college reality
Angela,
Sounds like to me that you wanted him to look decent to impress, which wasn’t totally out of the realm of what would have looked “normal”, but he took it one step further. You were probably pleased that he cared that much and everyone forgot what the context was.
Beth
Re: First dose of college reality
I remember my freshman year… one of our cohort had never *owned* a pair of jeans! It was a fun shopping trip on one of those first Saturdays.
Re: First dose of college reality
With two in college, I can tell you that American Eagle, Abercrombie, and Old Navy are all acceptable places to get the clothes if you want him to fit in. My son does not have a dress shirt or tie at college!
Janis
clothes at uni
I tell you guys something, the fellows who like those shirts can get them on the cheap at the thrift store. I mean, those clothes are neat and everything, but some of those stores cost a lot. The Abercrombie short sleeve casual shirts (that advertise made up bars and whatnot) have look a likes you can get on the cheap, that way your son will have more money for books. Also, it is wonderful to hear of any young fellow who can tie a necktie and not mind wearing a proper suit.
most college kids I know go to thrift stores to get clothes
You would be surprised at the deals they find. My son goes to BYU and they have an honor code. My son wears shirts with ties on Sundays when he goes to church, the rest of the time he lives in thrift store finds and Old Navy jeans….
Re: First dose of college reality
Normally he’s a sweat pants and t-shirt guy. I guess we just thought meeting the admissions rep for the first time at the Hilton was something we should dress for. In a few weeks there will be a reception at the college (Whittier College) for those admitted. Maybe we’ll take a change of clothes in the car, in case it is more dressed up than the last. I could also email the rep to see what would be appropriate. More fun!
cool
BYU and Whittier are great schools. You guys are soo sweet to think of your children in such a nice way.
my husband just graduated
from Whittier Law School. He doesn’t know if he passed the bar but for someone who struggled with reading his whole life to graduate from law school was quite the feat!!
Re: First dose of college reality
Taking a change of clothes in the car is a very good idea. Also an outfit that can dress up or down — a nice cotton shirt that looks good either with a tie or without, a tie that can be worn or put in the pocket, plain dark pants, and a blazer — set for almost anything.
Angela,
It will get better and I feel for you. My 19 year old son is away at college now and he is struggling because his ADD and I am not there to keep him on task…sometimes I wish he was closer so I could help him and know when to back off.
Where did your son choose to go to college?