Emotional Rollercoaster

I would expect accommodations to be followed. Get the remediation privately if you can so he’ll have a chance of improving the needed skills.

Janis

Write to them and tell them you have a focus of concern that your child is feeling like a failure and that the IEP needs to be changed because the accomodations don’t seem to be working and what do they suggest. Hang in there!

He has a very good IEP. She says all the right things in the meeting and seems very concerned but her actions do not match her words. When they verbally agree with you what else can you say??

Well I had a small group meeting without the teacher. I was told - I am sorry that you feel this way. We were all hoping for sucess this year.

I was asked if I expressed this to the teacher. Well I expressed my concerns about my son reactions to her reward programs but not that I feel she plays a large part in my sons frustrations. The fact that I questions some of her reward methods should suggest that.

I do not know if I could say that directly to her. I think it would crush a teacher to hear that but I do believe it to be true.

The teacher doesnot want to change the rewards methods. Her last change to my concerns about her many reward programs are the behavior reward charts are now in the students desk instead out in the open. My son is only in the classroom for half of the time and allow no modification to make up for missed time and opportunity to earn points. But it is Ok because no one can see the chart now but himself ????

I am now being told - Well there is only two weeks left.

Yeah but it has been the whole year. I have another meeting next to discuss my son progress. It is going to be a long two weeks.

Behaviour modification can be a wonderful thing but when it is done poorly it can be quite damaging. It is important that they focus on consequences only for actions that are within the child’s control. My son is a slow processor, he tries to move fast but he just isn’t built fast. We had one teacher put a yellow coin on the child’s desk when they did not do what they were supposed to do. He had a yellow coin put on his desk for not getting his books out fast enough. He is such a pleaser so this just sent him right over the edge. He was anxious and that just made everything worse.

Long story short, my frustrations with this particular teacher in sped and the school’s truely awful response to my concerns set me on a road to address his problems outside the school system. I had them do as little as possible because their solutions were just causing bigger problems.

In the end, it turned out to be a good thing for us. I guess what doesn’t kill you, empowers you, or something like that.

What did you do outside the school system?

I have to say I am happy with the schools resource team. My son has been educational progress.

My issue is with the reg ed teacher. He seems to be a bother to her. I do not like the way she treats him. I have no idea if she has been spoken to by the assistant principle or not. She the teacher says one thing but behaves another.

One more week left. It will be a long one. I have asked the resource teacher to continue my sons time with her until the last day. I want my son to spend the least amount of time with reg teacher as possible.

They are not happy about that because they believe he is capable of learning and spending more time in the reg class. Not if the teacher is unfair and emotionally damaging. Realizing this they agreed.

They all seem to agree that some of her decisions are wrong but I do not know what is being done about it.

Could something be done and I just do not need to know about it?

I would speak to the principle, asking to have your son placed with a teacher next year who has a strong record of successfully working with kids with a variety of learning needs. If you have been a pain this year, they are likely to be accomodating.

This year is water under the bridge at this point. You just don’t want a repeat performance next year.

Beth

I did reading reflex with him to teach him to read, vision therapy so that he would enjoy reading and to address his specific visual motor deficits, interactive metronome which helped attention, sequencing and motor timing some audiblox, some sequential spelling.

But back to you specific concerns. If you feel they are doing a good job in other areas well then, great!

I would write a very specific detailed letter about the type of teacher you would like for next year. Site specific examples of things about your son. For example, I have always requested a teacher that is flexible and kind because that is what he responds best to. Approach this not from the angle of being a complainer but rather the angle of lets all help this child succeed by giving him what he needs.

Most principals don’t like you to try and pick a teacher but a good principal will be open to input from an involved parent.

I guess I have been a pain but for good reason. Unfortunatly this is a repeated year of a bad thing.

This is very much like his Kindergarten teacher. Just giving up on him. I did not say anything to the principle or assistant principle that year. Only to his reading teacher, who just happens to be our new assistant principle.

I guess since she know what went wrong in K, I feel comfortable telling her when I saw similar things happening again. My son had a great teacher his first year in 1st so I know capable teachers are out there.

I did ask for a teacher that is calm patient and understanding. He really needs a teacher that cares about him.

Just today my son told me that the teacher drew two names from a hat. Those two did not have to work to day. A free day. He told me his name was not included because he goes to resource!?! I can guarantee you the resource would have let him participate. He was not even given a chance.
He said that is was Ok. I guess he is getting used to this treatment-being made to feel different- and excepting it. I think it is unnecessary and unexceptable.

I have an amazing boy and he is handling it very maturally for a 7 year old but want it this doing to him inside. Is he handling as well as he seems.

Your post made me so sad. He sounds like my boy, very sweet and forgiving.

He shouldn’t have to put up with that. It can be frustrating. I started out as a person who didn’t want to make waves. When I saw my son being affected by the school’s incompetance I became this other person. I didn’t care what they thought of me. Every time something happened that I didn’t like I called a meeting. We had about 7 or 8 meetings before they changed his class. I layed it all out on the line, never holding back.
That really isn’t me, I hate confrontation. I wrote everything in a letter that this one teacher was doing and CC’d the principal, the head of the sped for the district, the school psychologist etc.

Based on what you are saying, I would definitely get some of this documented. It is amazing how often my words were ignored but things on the written page were respected. I would include this particular episode in a letter as something you never want to see happen again.

I used to have this saying I would throw out at meetings.” Teachers should take the oath that physicians take, First do no harm.”

I haven’t had a bad teacher since this one episode.

Just think what messages this teacher is teaching — and has been teaching all year:
Your school work is so important and so vital and so interesting that the *best* reward I can give out is to let you NOT do it.
And:
Getting out of this work that I’ve taught you is hateful is a matter of luck.
And:
All of us are equal (we all have equal chances with names in the hat) but some are more equal than others (No, not you. YOUR name doesn’t go in the hat.)

You know, it is probably a really good thing for your son that he has not been one of this teacher’s pets!! At least he hasn’t bought into that horrid worldview.

And just think how the rest of the little darlings in the class are going to react for the rest of their school days. At a very impressionable age they have been taught to hate their school work, to avoid effort as the highest goal, to fight and compete against each other instead of trying to better their own results, to suck up to the teacher in order to get rewards — they are going to be horrors to try to teach for several years if not for life. I know, I have had the misfortune to be the nasty old &*&ch who followed that teacher several times in my career and who caught it for trying to actually teach something and to aim for some internal motivation.
Again, your child is lucky to have seen the underside of this and to NOT be caught up in it.

yes I can see how the students that recieved these rewards will be in for shock next year.

There is no good coming from these rewards on any end. My son has decided that he is not going to go to resource next year because it has caused many exclusions. I now have to fix his view of being in the resource room.

I had a talk with the resource teacher about this, as I left I said Oh just one more week! Then later I realized - No the only one that has one week is his reg teacher. NOT my son. Not the resource teacher. We have damage control to prepare for next year.

I have a meeting on Monday. Somedays I think I want to know why she did the things she did. Did she know the damage she was causing? When it was brought to her attention why did she continue?

If I know the answers will it make a difference? Will it change anything?

It may too late for my son but what about the next LD student she gets. She is a first grade teacher. They will not come to her labeled like my son did. Look at what happened this year and she new he was Dyslexic.

Who would I be doing it for? Does it need to done at this point? I do not know what to do.

I’m so sorry that your son had to deal with this.

Look forward for your son. Retraining (or restraining!) this year’s teacher is the admin’s problem. I bet they know about it but have chosen not to have the hassle of dealing with it.

Write that letter about what you need for next’s teacher. (that alone would tell them there is a problem but I’m still betting that they already know.) Principals don’t like specific teacher requests ” I want Mrs. Soso for my child” but class placements are always done with speical cases first and then balancing the class for gender, race, abilities, etc. An identified child with a request for a type of teacher is not out of line, at all.

You want an inclusive teacher who does not resent the pullouts and who is kind, caring, flexible and gentle. They may claim all teachers are kind, etc. Ask specifically for someone who is successful in building the self esteem of special needs kids and who works well with the resource room.

Its too late in the year to fix the classroom teacher-so celebrate his gains and move on all the wiser.

I felt very unsuccessful in my last meeting and left very upset.

Good and Bad here. I wish I did not have to lose my cool in the meeting but my son is seeing a difference. He did not even know I had a meeting. The teacher is actually listening to him. Correcting another student for bullying when he brought it to her attention. 2x’s

This was not the first time asking the teacher to do this but it was the first time infront of her peers. It is sad it had to end this way. I am glad my son will feel support this last week. This is the week he will remember over the summer and bring with him on the first day of school. Two more day to go. That may sound silly. To worry about two days but everyday counts.

My son is going to be tutored over the summer by his resource teacher once a week for an hour. I cant wait for summer.

Glad its getting a bit better.

Is the summer plan of one hour a week her plan or yours? Is she planning to maintain with an hour a week? Have you considered 1 hour several times a week for remediation? Summer time is a great time for remediation. there’s still lots of time in the day for fun.

Its unlikely that one hour a week will make major changes.

Over the summer it is for one week an hour. More to retain and review.

My son has always done some tutoring since Kindergarten. Tutoring in K the whole school year twice a week for an hour each. Then that summer same tutoring plus summer school 3 hours a day for 4 weeks. First time in 1st continued tutoring after school for one hour twice a week plus 30 min tutoring through the school before school twice a week.

Last summer he did speech tutoring. No summer school. They did not have appropiate instructions for LD and it did not help last year. It would have been the same as last year since he is repeating 1st.

This year we stop the after school tutoring. It was getting him depressed. So we signed him up soccer and boyscouts. He loves it. Great for his self esteem he is good at soccer. He has decided not to join boyscouts again. It got in the way of his neighbor play time. He still wants to play soccer. It is a fall and spring time sport. He wants to do basketball next winter. He no longer qualified for morning tutoring because he is in the resource room so that stopped too at the beginning of this year.

Strangely enough he did better even with less tutoring. The resource room was so helpful he jump for K goals Nov this year to mid first grade this May. He read story 4 on the TPRI which is good. Very exciting news.

His new goals are anywhere from 1st grade goals to some 2nd grade goals next year. I was hoping to give him a break this summer with just once a week. Is this wrong since so much progress has been shown?

Now that I am thinking about it. I will talk to my husband about it. Twice a week may be all we a afford right now. I am thinking about it.

With my luck he may do so good over the summer and not qualify for resource next year but still struggle in the classroom. I have to admit that is a fear of mine.

This is his/our first educational success feeling and I am not ready to let go of it and I am sure he would feel the same. I have found a safety net and do not want it to be taken away.

If next year he has a more supportive classroom teacher I may not feel so scared for him.

I am thinking.

Hi Anne,

I agree with mmm that summer is an important time to make use of, so do it more often if you can possibly find a way to afford it. A lot of parents in my area do our intensives over the summer; even though it is more expensive, you get more “bang for the buck.” Even the kids seem to like it, especially if they get sports and pool and stuff the rest of the time (and you can make sure that happens!)…

Also, there is a difference between tutoring and educational therapy, and it sounds to me like what he needs is ed therapy, not just tutoring. Something that will fix the underlying problems, deal with processing issues, etc. It’s more expensive but worth it in the long run, and there usually isn’t time for it during the year because the focus is on homework, test scores, and just keeping up.

There are lots of good programs that could fit the bill: PACE, LindamoodBell and Reading Reflex are among them; which one depends on what areas you and he see as most pressing. Licensed PACE providers can give him a quick processing skills screening, usually for free or very low cost, which might provide some guidance. Go to the PACE website www.learningrx.com or www.processingskills.com to find a provider in your area.

It sounds like your resource teacher is doing something right if she has helped him to progress that much this year, and it sounds like she has a good relationship with him. I don’t discount that, because I believe that we can only learn from someone we truly like and respect. But find out what she plans to do with him this summer, and see if it will really be worth his time and your money before you go that route…

I have one other comment regarding this year’s general ed teacher also. I think you can rest assured that the problems she has caused for your son have been taken into account. I have had similar problems with a teacher at our school this year, and I know some of the “inner workings” on how they had to deal with the problems. They can’t tell you anything about how they are dealing with it and what they are saying to her, for one thing, because that would be a violation of her confidentiality, as an employee. Also, they have to document everything, give her chances to improve and change things, warn her a certain number of times, etc. It’s a very convoluted system, partly based on the Union requirements that protect tenured teachers, and partly on employment law. So every time you say something to the administration about a problem you observed or heard about through your son, you gave them some ammunition, but may not have seen any results; of course, if you hadn’t said anything, for fear of being a pest, then nothing at all would happen, and that would be worse.

The teacher I had problems with this year at school is one of our oldest and most experienced teachers. I’ve had experiences with her before, and knew from day one that this was a bad placement for this student. I tried to get the principal to change it, but was told we had to “give it a chance.” Twice during the year she was on the verge of changing his placement, but didn’t because it would have made a “major hassle” with this teacher and, I believe, with the union. School politics, again, I’m afraid! Anyway, similarly to your son, my only consolation was that I was able to ensure that it wasn’t a totally wasted year for this child, and give him a place of refuge.

I agree with the earlier comments that you should document this year, for the record and for future ammunition, if needed. Oh, and as for your last IEP meeting, I really recommend you find a good child advocate, or even just a friend who is knowledgeable about regular or special education, to go with you to your next IEP meeting. Tape record the entire meeting, just let them know at least 24 hours in advance that you plan to do so. You can say that you want to review what was said afterwards…

I just went to a meeting with a friend last week. She told me after the meeting (which went very well) that it was the best meeting she’d ever had — she couldn’t believe the difference in their attitude and demeanor toward her: much less condescending, no patronizing tone, didn’t try to pull anything over, offered services she hadn’t even asked for, bent over backwards, basically. All because she had a “friend” who happened to be an RSP teacher in the meeting with her! Even a mother, sister, husband, aunt, uncle, neighbor, whatever, will help, so you are not so alone and they know someone else is on your side… maybe it’s a psychological advantage, but every little bit helps!

Good luck with your plans for the summer and next year, keep us posted!

I have to say I have taken the path that shoshie recommends with my son now in 5th and he doesn’t need much from the school anymore. Definitely try to identify and address specific deficits. I suspect this resource teacher may have been doing some of this based on your positive results. You can continue what she has started, even if you just do it yourself.

I did a lot on my own. I did audiblox, reading reflex, and some sequential spelling myself. Vision therapy was paid for by insurance. I paid for interactive metronome myself. I have been considering pace to improve his processing speed and bring him up to the next level.

Anne
We did much the same thing. Intensive private reading tutoring, private afterschool support, vision therapy, private evaluation, a little resource help. Basically me as case manager. We had a couple of hard bumps along the way - one Attila the Hun teacher and one wacko sped ed teacher. I’m very big on really comparision shopping before I find a vision therapist or a psychologist or any ohter services.

Learn to work the system. It sounds as if the resource teacher is on your side. Don’t split her loyalties but do ask her for recommendations for private services. she will know who does a good eval. or who does the speech work. If she doesn’t know, she will know who to ask.

I no longer feel that I have to right all the wrongs in the system - I have to find the right services for my child. Period.

Well I talked to my husband. He was not happy and said I am trying to make him a genious and I should just let him be a kid. The summer is for being a kid.

To understand his view, I must explain some history. My husband has an older brother and an older sister with dyslexia. The sister having a more sever case. There was never a diagnoss or recieved any extra assistance at school or at home. They are both in their 50’s now. They are both very successful. She owns her own successful salon. He went back to school in mid 30’s and got a law degree and even ran for judge.

My husband see a bright future for him and think he just needs to get through school. assistance not necessary because his sister and brother did not get it and they are fine.

My husband is 13 yrs younger than his sister so he did not see her struggle through the school system which she admits she got through out of mercy of her teachers.

I think it harder to get social promotion these days.

His brother got into a lot of fights. Ended up on the wressling (sorry I am bad speller - I guess I have my own problems) team. My husband doesnt think he fought out of fustration but because he is short. My husband is the tallest in his family and he is 5’7.

I know all this from his mother and sister. His brother doesnot talk about it.

He thinks I am pushing him too hard and things will work out. ???

My husband is not afraid that he is dyslexia because he is very proud of his brother and sister and thinks our son will have the same success. I am only afraid of his self esteem and what him to feel success now in the school.

I have also raised a perfectionist. I know it is a learned behavior but I do not know how to fix it. Could really really use some advise to help him not be so upset if he gets something wrong.

I think I will ask the resource teacher for some homework or advise that I could do with him during the week. This way we could do it when he has down time. Work around his play time so he doesnot feel he is missing anything.

Still thinking.

there are good multisensory reading programs for teaching dyslexics. The most sucessful are the Orton Gillingham based. I’ll bet your resource person is using one of them.

sorry, hubby is wrong. Early intervention is important. But frankly, this is a common complaint among the parent boards. Dyslexia and LDs are very familial and it is very common to meet resistance in one parent. Usually the dad!!!

You need to educate yourself and your husband on LD’s. There are some excellent articles in the LD in Depth section.

Do post the scores. Good evaluation is important to finding the correct services. Many of our kids are a combination of deficits and styles.

As to summer being for play - well there’s enough time in a summers day for reading practice and play. We did swim team every morning and two meets a week, and had the grandparents to visit and had no problem scheduling in 4 x 45 minute tutoring sessions a week. I spent a lot time waiting in my car but the frequent tutoring was wonderful.

this is important and I know that you know it. the remediation statistics are not good at middle school and they are really bad in high school. There is no time like the present time. Go for it.

I found an article not too long ago that had stats in it that millionaires were disproportionately LD but so were convicts. I told my son the millionaire part and he quite happily went around for a few days gleeful about the fact that he had a better chance of being rich than his nonLD siblings.

The prison stats are frightening. Closer to home for me were two college educated friends (one with a Phd) who had LD teenagers about the time it was becoming clear that my middle child was LD. They had a horrid time, and both ended up clinically depressed. They are both adults now and doing much better. But I want my son to have an easier road.

I think LD puts a child at risk. Just because your husband’s siblings fared well is no guarantee that your child will. I decided, based on what I observed with friends (there is no LD in my or my husband’s family), that it was pay the piper now or later.

My son has spent every summer and school year working on remediation. He has gone from special ed for math, writing, and reading to making mostly Bs in a regular classroom with accomodations only for spelling. I suppose he has given up some childhood for this but I see it as giving him options as an adult and sooner. He doesn’t always like it but I felt like the risk of doing nothing was too great. I have no doubt that without my intervention he would now be in a self contained LD classroom in middle school. Instead, I have a well adjusted child who is active in sports and boy scouts (one sport at a time!) who told me he is average at his school (and he goes to a demanding parochial school).

Beth

Yes, know I need to do more. I am going to talk to the resource teacher tomorrow and find out if she can share her methods since I have seen progress and we can be doing the same method with him. I know they have been working with the Stevenson program but I do not know if that is what she will be doing over the summer.

Beth I have read that article too. My son has been very frustrated. More this year than ever but it had more to do with his teacher and poor communication. I have pointed this out the school and that they need to very careful about who they but my son with so we do not make his risk of low self esteem greater.

mmm What do you mean by post the scores. His test scores? Progress scores? I have scores from Scottish Rite for Children and then are the scores from the school.

He has multiple things going on. The only method I know for sure he needs is tactile.

oh The teacher has been extra careful with my son this week. I am glad I brought it up in the meeting this week even though there was only a few day left. They were not because I gave them an issue to work on when they are ready to close up shop. It was hard to do but I am glad I did it.

The next time the teacher doesnot response to a suggestion or plea I have learned to reask infront of a peer. It seems to put more pressure on them to act on it. But I guess that would depend on the person too?!

All I now is that it is a better week. One day left.

My husband has called my son my little science experiment at times. In the end my husband is very proud with what he has accomplished and proud of me for helping him. My son could never draw because of his visual deficits. I remember one time when he started drawing all of these interesting pictures and my husband almost cried.

My husband was dyslexic as a child. He is very successful but it was a bumpy road for him.

I just think that the work we have done has made my son’s life easier. He is less stressed because the heavy burden of deficits has been lightened.

The entire experience has made us all closer.

Sometimes I have been made to feel that too. Like he is my project.

I have said that my son may have dyslexia since preschool. I think, since no one in the school district has taken me seriously until this year. 2.5 years later. I have come across as someone looking for a problem to fix that is not there.

Now that I am not the only one admitting to his struggles, his birthday ruled out, my husband has not switch gears that I am not overreacting and this is all real.

I do need to slow down though that I know. I have many sleepless nights and I always have books from the library out. I do not like unsolved puzzles. I have to fix and finish right away. Some how I have to change this or it is going to wear me out.

Yes, keep working on it. No, you are not going to “fix” everything at once. Remember, raising a child is a twenty-year project.
Sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof.

Hi Anne,

I agree with mmm and Linda — your husband is wrong to assume that everything will be fine for your son because it was for his brother and sister. For one thing, the school system is different today. For another, the temptations of drugs and other illegal paths are even greater than they used to be when we were kids. It is also even harder to make a living now, particularly if you don’t have really good literacy skills. Current stats say that over 80% of the jobs of today require a high school diploma or higher. Back in the sixties and seventies it was only about 50%. And the drop out rate right now is around 25%. That means that 25% of the population are COMPETING for 20% of the jobs… not a good scenario, and that explains a lot about the prison stats, I think.

I also heard something else along these lines recently. A friend I know asked someone in government how they know how many prisons to build; know what they told him? That they take the 3rd grade illiteracy rate. Project forward 10-12 years, and that’s how many prison beds you’ll need! Scary thought, isn’t it?

I can also tell you a little about my own experience. My son Jason was diagnosed with “classic dyslexia” in 1st grade. Those were the psychologist’s words, although she didn’t put it in the report, of course. I was already a Resource teacher, but I didn’t have a clue what to do for him, so I went on a search, tried lots of things, some that helped, some that were a monumental waste of time and money.

I know now that I should have been even more proactive than I was, because the worst part came in middle school. My sweet, quiet, artistic little boy became a completely different person than I could even have imagined. He began picking fights, ditching, ran away three times (once was gone for three days!), set fires, in short, showed all the signs of serious at-risk behavior. I remember I had taken him on vacation when all this was going on, he was about 14, and we were talking about all this. I’ll always remember his words to me, talking about the other students who were always picking on him (this had been constant through elementary, but got much worse in middle school): “Mom, you have to get them first, before they get you!” That was when I realized I had to intervene.

I had him committed the next week to a psychiatric institution for troubled teens for about two weeks for observation and evaluation. It was absolutely the hardest thing I have ever done, but it was the right thing. They diagnosed him with ADD and depressive disorder and put him on antidepressant that also helped his focus issues. I also ended up putting him into an NPS for kids with behavioral problems, and we got some serious counseling, three times a week for awhile. The counselor told me that, for boys especially, depression usually comes out in behavior problems. Between the school, the medication and the counseling, we were able to turn things around eventually, but it was tough going for awhile there. I know the stats about LDs too, and I knew he could easily end up either in prison, mentally ill, or dead. It was a very scary time for all of us. By the way, he is 23 now, did graduate high school, and is gainfully employed, but it’s been a long hard road. Not over yet, either, as he still lives at home, but he’s hoping to get his own apartment in the next few months…

All through his childhood, my ex-husband was also convinced there was no such thing as a Learning Disability; he thought it was all just laziness. He also blamed a lot of things on my supposed “bad parenting” (we were separated, and Jason had been living with me since age 3). I even had one school psych suggest the same thing! But the part when Jason fell completely apart came after he had lived with his father for three years (boy, was I glad I allowed that!). I did notice he changed his tune after that, and especially after things got better when I took over again. He had the same attitude: “I pulled myself up by my bootstraps, he can do it too.” Must be “male” way of thinking, it seems to me….

I also agree about the millionaires thing, though, and I don’t think it is a coincidence or a contradiction. Most of the LD students I know are extremely gifted, and will make outstanding contributions to society if they can get through our school system with their self-esteem intact. But that is the catch, isn’t it?

Along those lines, there is a great article in Fortune Magazine about “Dyslexic CEO’s.” I believe it is the July 2002 issue. There is a picture of Charles Schwab at age 12 on the cover, it is the cover article. All about how so many of the most successful CEO’s were dyslexic in school, and how they now believe it is their dyslexia which makes them more successful in business. I would like to point out, however, as you’ll see in the article, that each and every one of them had at least one parent who was 100% on their side, sticking up for them, encouraging them, smoothing the way, etc. I believe that is the one thing that can “tip the balance” in favor of a good outcome rather than a bad one. Having a really gifted teacher or two probably helps too, but that only lasts for a few years, at most…

Remember Albert Einstein? He was kicked out of several schools as a behavior problem, until his mom had to simply school him herself. What if she hadn’t had the brains, the training, the determination, and the financial wherewithal to do so? I believe we would not have known the Albert Einstein we all know today, and there would be one more “wasted mind”…

Anyway, hang in there, do everything you can for your son, try to “educate” your husband gradually about this (you could use the Fortune article, for one), but don’t give up, it is really worth it in the end.

Hi Anne, I’ve had similar experiences with things being agreed to but never happening. In our case, the sped teacher suggested a visual schedule for my son was has Asperger’s. I keep checking and no schedule. It took a year to get it and it only happened then because the classroom teacher did it.

What I would do differently now is to say in the meeting, “that’s a great idea, who will be implementing this and when will it be started? How about two weeks?”. Nail down the details at the meeting and then check to see it’s being done. Monica

Hello

We just got back from our family vacation. It was a nice mental break from a rough year.

I just got the final paper from the school about the ARD meeting we had the last week of school. I disagreed with at least 3 areas all for the same reasons. It was all about his behavior and how he responds to peers. A lot of it had to do with how the teacher was handling the situations, but that was not written in there. My son just completed his third year of school - this year was his only year of complaints and was from only one teacher out of six. This was his most successful year educationally because of the resource room. I can not wait to see who they give him next year.

Thank you to everyone for sharing your personal stories. It is really helpful and a reminder of my responsibilities. I often get caught in the clouds with everyone saying I am over-reacting. I would so love to be just over reacting and think that life will take care of its self.

I have learn a lot here and I know I have a lot more to learn. I have to work on remember to ask all the questions. The topics change so quickly in the meetings, I often lose my place.

Shoshie thank you for sharing your story. I do fear this outcome. My son has already expressed the opinion of getting them before they get him. He is only 7 so it has been more about name calling now but I know it can get worse as he get older. His teacher this year allowed his peers to tease him and when I asked her why in this last meeting. I was so nerve to ask this question but I had to know. Her answer was he needs to learn that life is not fair and to deal with it. The problem was she was not helping to learn how to deal properly. Just letting him figure it out on his own. And then had the nerve to say he is not good at it. I so feel sorry for anyone that gets her next year. I have let the school know this concern. I can only hope she does not do the damage she has done to my son to another student.

I just want to say again I really appreciate all your opinions and advise.