Parents

Ah, yes, IEP meetings…

I am currently teaching elem SLD. I have been able to get most parents in, so far. But I am having problems with a few—schedule problems, for some.

I am thinking it might be helpful to schedule for some parents the way we do conference days now. School is open from 2pm-7pm. Because for some jobs, parents do have difficulty getting time off for school meetings.

Presently I schedule for teacher’s planning periods—but also send a form for parent input with the schedule. Changes are made to suit parent schedules, and phone calls are made as well.

Which I think is appropriate. I write the IEP, but need parent (and teacher)suggestions, etc, at the meeting.

Anita

Hi Julianna,

We have one option on our “notice of IEP meeting” forms, that is a box where the parent can check that says they cannot attend but we can hold the meeting without them. Usually, it then becomes my job to call them and go over the IEP by phone, but at least we can go ahead and complete the IEP, send it home so they have it in front of them, along with an extra copy of the signature page for them to return once everything is agreed upon. It takes a little more time than if they had been at the meeting, and I would never do this for an initial or when there are major changes, but for most of the “routine” meetings it works just fine.

We also have a special ed clerk who works at our school, and she double checks before we even schedule the meeting that the parent will be able to make it that day and time. Then she calls the day before to remind them, etc. Seems to work, I’d say fewer than 20% of our IEPs are “no-shows” and most of them have checked to say we could hold it without them in that case. It does save having to reschedule the whole thing! I believe the exact wording of the item reads something like this: “I plan to attend; however, if for some reason I am unable to be there, you may hold the meeting without me and go over it with me by phone later.” Of course, there is also an option that says, “I cannot attend at this date and time. Please call me to reschedule.” But at least we gave them both options, and many parents seem to appreciate that.

As for the many reasons parents don’t show up, it’s hard to say. Maybe they don’t get the sense that it is really important for them to be there. As a parent of my own LD child, even though I was an RSP teacher, I often got that feeling at his IEPs, as if I was the least important person, I was “only” his mom! I know that is not the way it was supposed to be, according to special ed law at least, but that is the way it often felt… I really felt neglected, disrespected and disempowered by most of the special ed. staff I encountered during his school years, even though they knew my background and expertise. How is it for parents who don’t have that expertise or knowledge? I’m not saying that you personally have made them feel that way, of course. But I think we as special ed teachers and staff members have to be very careful to make sure the parents know how important this is, and how important their role and decisions are in their child’s life and educational career. I always tell parents that they are the person most able to make the “crucial difference” in how their child turns out — and I believe this is literally true. See my post in the “Emotional Roller Coaster” thread if you want more details on this, from my own experience…

As for showing up at IEP meetings, I worked at a center for autistic adults. We didn’t have IEP but ISPs (service plans). Almost all the parents were very involved in other ways (ie visiting, doctor’s appt., etc etc) but when it came to ISPs many of them were not at all involved. Either they thought we knew what to do or we could not get the scheduling down (even though we did nights and everything) or…
I really feel some were intimidated, even though they were not to us as people and workers with their sons or daughters.

I honestly feel that IEPs can be very intimidating. I had a chance to look at them another way coming in as the tutor of one of my students. They had this assemblied mass of people (and this was just someone who had speech and language). There was the Kindergarten teacher (even though he was homeschooled), the special ed teacher, the speech path. and some other person. You should try lookign at it from that side some time!
I think there is good intentions in having all these people show up but there are also negatives to this as well.

BTW, some people are not intimidated. A friend of mine used to show up wtih a wallet size picture of her son. She waved it in front of their faces, “If you don’t know this boy, you should not be here.” :-)

—des

I’m even willing to work around the schedules of staff involved so we are NOT “rushed”. I take these meetings VERY Seriously as one of you have pointed out…….It effects our children later in life (but not in those words).

My experience as a parent has been a barrage of mixed signals.

Principle: I’m always made to feel like I’m a pain in the butt and the whole process is just a pain in the butt. The principle often sighs loudly through-out meetings and constantly shifts in her chair as if to say..”Come on!! This is a waste of my time!!!!!” Oh and the look of complete dismay and disgust (especially if I’m readdressing a issue that continues to be a problem). She even told me at one point that she has a nephew with worse problems then my child and she thinks that our daughter is “fine”.

***I must say that I’ve NEVER gotten that feeling from ANY of the Regular Education Teachers my daughter has encountered in the past 5years. In fact„,last IEP meeting for the 6th grade, the reg ed. teacher avoided all eye contact w/me..even when I attemped eye contact w/ questions and concerns..this teacher never took the lead on answering questions neither…he always would just re-enforce the principle or Sped teacher…Never took the lead in addressing our daughters difficulties in his classroom. He was basically a follower..ALL THE WAY!

Honestly..In flashes of exhaustion between work, research, theriapies, housework, dealing w/3kids, other appts for kids, inservices for work, yada,yada, yada…I want to just throw up my hands and say “The Heck With IT!!!”…but then that lapse of insanity goes away and I refocus.

I ask this question ALOT…WITH NO ANSWER!!!!!! How can you gain the trust of regular education teacher to find out how your child is REALLY doing?(lack of eye contact and answering questions directed to him/her without SPED teacher or principle stepping in first?) I’m aware how things really are for the REG ED teachers…basically…they are the bottom of the totem pole and if they may referr too many kids it makes them look bad and/or thier job is at risk. I’ve had a teacher in the past express her concerns to me and I would never let it be known where the info came from….I would treat it as my own and research things out as well as find evidence to support what difficulties they were seeing so I could get the REG ED teacher and my daughter the help needed without anyone “suffering”….The “adminstration” would never have a clue were this info came from.

You know…from what I read under this thread…I WISH I WORKED WITH YOU FOLKS!!!!! You all seem sooooooooo committed to the kids TRUELY SUCCEEDING and VERY EXCITED BY PARENTAL EVOLVEMENT!!!!

This is just my 2 cents„,maybe my butt is out…but…..until the budget makers (priciples and up) are limited w/thier authourity AND DEFINITELY thier authority over what services a child recieves to be sucessful in a Itinerant Classroom..but held alot more accountable for the children within thier school succeeding (Like the teachers are) maybe thier “attitudes” would cease ALOT along with thier 2 faced attitudes about how much they care about the kids in thier school…LOL!!!!(Can you tell our LEA is “shifty”..sorry for the sarcaism)

Sorry to rant…but in a nutshell…..there are some parents that dooooo understand the implications of a teacher adovating for a student…SAD!!! Especially„,since in our place of employment we have teachers that work 2nd shift because of Lack of pay!!!! TEACHERS ARE VERY SPECIAL AND IMPORTANT..AND..THEY ARE THE ONES THAT HAVE THE MAJORITY OF THE ONE ON ONE W/the kids and REALLY KNOW WHERE THE DIFFICULITES ARE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Just frustrated with the system
Binky