hello,
i am under a tempory employment at a sixth-form college as a psychology teacher for A-Level students.
i have been working there since January and there is one young lady who is nearly 18 years old, is within a class of 16/17 year olds (as if held back a year) but acts really young.
I am wondering whether anybody here recognises these symptoms:
[list] she hardly works if sat down
she seems really aggressive and punches her friends “for fun”
whenever i ask her to do something she looks at me blankly as if she hasn’t heard what has been said
if she does know an answer she just shouts out dispite me telling everybody to raise their hand
she rarely finishes her work, and begins much later than everybody else, after the work has been explained, part by part, from her friends
if i tell her to sit still or quietly she becomes aggressive and either says “i ent doing anything” or “you always yell at me”
she has had occations when she has thrown rulers into the corner of the classroom
she seems to talk constantly yet never has eyecontact
even the wind blowing can distract her focus
she always seems to fidgit in her seat and mess with her friend’s things
she only ever truly participates when doing an active activity
she don’t take notes unless specifically told to do so
she swings on her chair and moves around non-stop [/list:u]
however, the few pieces of work that are handed in, are unfinished and untidy, with doodles and scribbles all over it, but it is usually very imaginitive and creative- when she designed posters, her work was displayed as one of the best of the class.
Whenever I have spoke to her, she always dismisses what i say. For example, we were talking last lesson, just me and herself…
me: what’s the matter with you today?
child: nothing
me: is there anything bothering you?
child: no
me: do you understand why you were sent out today?
child: you pick on me
me: no, consistant laughter for no reason was distracting the class, and so i sent you out to allow you time to calm down a little
child: you don’t understand me
me: i am TRYING to understand you
child: i can’t help it, i just giggle, i can’t concentrate, and the work you set is loads and takes forever!
that’s just an extract of what was said, but even in that demonstrates her attitude. In that lesson, the class were given one sheet to complete and some notes on the board. She giggled continuously throughout the lesson with no reason. The rest of the class usually complete the work in 5-10 minuites whereas her work is hardly began.
please help me to help this student!!!
i didn't really consider this an option...
hello,
well, i have had an intense chat with the young lady as previously mentioned. she has let me in on a few secrets such as she HAS had a rough past and she has been diagnosed with ADHD. she takes concerta xl and finds it hard to concentrate due to it.
As it happens, i teach another young lady, the same age but works in classes of her own age who i know was diagnosed with ADHD and she takes ritalin. I teach both ladies, but there are some big differences although similarities also.
Both ladies swing on their chairs, although V (the one previously mentioned) does this excessively. But A (the other ADHD student) has no problems with violence and aggression. Both A and V find the pace of my lessons much to quick although others complain they are too slow. Also, both have difficulties listening and writing and performing other multi-tasks.
Although there are similarities, it never occurred to me that V may have this condition. Both A and V also fail to abide by school rules such as raising their hand, listening whilst others are speaking and completing set tasks. Although both ladies, when working on an active activity such as matching cards or ‘blockbusters’ they both perform excedingly well.
Why didn’t this occur to me? Also does anybody have any suggestions as to how to help these students. Ideally things that I could help them with now, but will also help with their futures as i leaving the school, and so are they.
Please reply with comments and sugesstions
Relationships matter most
I wish I had some easy suggestions, but I don’t think there are any. You have done the most important thing - you have taken a risk and started a relationship with her. I was at a recent talk on the brain research from the 90s, and far from emphasizing the need for medical intervention, the research stresses the fact that diverse and close RELATIONSHIPS with many people are what lead to the best outcomes in terms of brain development. In other words, our relationships impact the PHYSICAL development of our brains! And the other good news from this talk was that it’s never too late to improve our brains.
Even though there are probably many developmental opportunites that your student has missed, they will also have interests and strengths that can be built upon, and the key is to utilize those strengths to overcome the perceived weaknesses. For example, my oldest son was able to use his incredible stubborness and his desire to accomplish his goals as a way to overcome his difficulties in concentration and organization. He committed himself to coming up with better ways of communicating and organizing his time, because it was important to HIM to succeed, and we helped by identifying and emphasizing his strengths and helping him come up with ways he could use those to his advantage.
This is not something you can do in a conversation or even in a couple of weeks. It requires a commitment to work over a long time period and to hang in when things get tough. Especially at this age, it will require overcoming BELIEFS that this young lady has developed that she CAN’T do certain things, that she is dumb, that it is hopeless to try, etc. Again, you have to LISTEN to these feelings and not invalidate them, but at the same time redirect her attention to the things that she does well.
Even if she doesn’t do well in school as a result, she will perceive that you care and that she is important to you. This is another well-researched item: kids from tough backgrounds report as adults that their ability to succeed despite the challenges they faced is highly dependent on whether or not they find another adult who really commits some time and energy and expresses their belief in them. You could be that person for her. I encourage you to spend that extra time and keep talking, now that you have made an initial contact. Maybe a weekly homework session would provide the opportunity for you to get to know her better without putting too much stress on her. I would also suggest that you consider making some adjustments in what you want her to do based on these discussions. If you can somehow get her interested in a project or area of exploration that no one else is doing, and can frame it as an opportunity for her to show her special skills or abilities to you or the class, you might be able to make her feel “special” rather than just weird. Maybe she can substitute some project of her own design instead of some of the things everyone else is expected to do. Anything you can have her to to help you out as one human being to another is also good. You will have to experiment around with it before you find the right thing, but listen to her and get feedback and ideas. The more you treat her like a person who has something to offer, the better her behavior should become. A positive adult relationship can bring about amazing results, but think beyond academics and get into finding out what is important to her.
Remember that lots of successful adults didn’t do all that well in school, including Edison, Einstein, Winston Churchill, and many more. We only measure a very narrow range of skills. If you can identify what she is good at and feels good about, and build on that, you can help her develop skills that will overcome her difficulty in sustaining attention on the highly verbal and highly linear tasks that our school system values. I admire you for taking on the task! We need more caring teachers like yourself. Good luck!
I would venture to guess that there is a LOT going on that you don’t know about. She sounds like a teen who may have had some questionable parenting or even some level of abuse or neglect in her background. (This can happen in well-to-do families just as easily in poor families, so don’t let socioeconomics be a consideration in your analysis.) It sounds to me like she is trying to control your classroom with her antics. At the same time, she is communicating something of her distress to you by her aggressive and passive-aggressive behavior.
I don’t think you will be able to know what is going on until you can get her to talk to you on a more meaningful level. The most promising thing she said to you was, “You don’t understand me.” This is probably her big deal issue - no one seems to understand her. So the next natural question is, what is it about her that you don’t understand? I would probably reply, “You are right - I DON’T understand you! That’s why I am talking to you, because I can see that I don’t understand what is happening with you, and I really WANT to understand where you are coming from. Can you explain what it is you feel I don’t understand about you?” But you’d better be ready to REALLy want to understand, because she will not like it if you say you are interested and then back down when things get ugly. If she does open up to you, you have to really be there for her and not worry about her disrupting your class for the moment, because she will know if you are interested or only faking to try to get her to behave herself.
A relatively safe topic to start on is school. Ask her how she feels about school. Whatever she says, don’t disagree. If she says school is a waste of time, have her explain what specifically she feels is a waste, and how she thinks it could be better. Ask her if she thinks YOUR class is sometimes a waste of time, and what she thinks you could do to improve it. Listen to the answers and don’t be defensive in the slightest way. If you really listen, she will be surprised, because most of the time, we adults don’t listen very well, and she may have particularly experienced adults as not caring much about her. This may or may not work, but it probably has the best chance of succeeding if she is from the kind of background I suspect.
The other possibility to consider is that she is bored to death because she is very bright and the classes are not a challenge. A lot of behavior problem kids are very bright. And both may be true. A very bright kid who is abused or neglected at home can be a holy terror in school. But the remedy is the same. You won’t find out unless you really want to know, and are willing to hear her harshest criticisms without flinching. Only after you have heard her out will it be possible to let her know that you ALSO have needs and frustrations, just like her, and that you really NEED HER HELP in order to run your class better.
I had this kind of a discussion with a boy in my high school chemistry class one time. He had been very disruptive, and I let him know that I was frustrated, because I knew there were a lot of kids wanting to learn chemistry, even if he didn’t, and I couldn’t do my job if he kept disrupting the class, but at the same time, I didn’t want to send him out of class all the time. And I asked him for the solution. He suggested that he be allowed to put his head down in class any time he wanted to, and if I didn’t bother him about it, he would not disrupt my class any more. I let him do that, and he never bothered me again. At the end of the year, he gave me a wallet photo of him, and wrote on the back that he “really respected” the way I had treated him, and said that he “probably learned a lot more chemistry than you think I did.” Respect is a very powerful tool.
Talk to her as an equal for a few minutes a day, ask her for feedback and accept it, and most importantly, let her know that she affects you PERSONALLY and that you need her help and are politely asking for it, rather than giving her the message (verbally or non-verbally) that she is messing up and that you are trying to be nice but that really she just needs to get her act together and stop bothering you. Be a real human with her, and invite her to share her humanity with you. Surprising things can happen when you do.