I have a 10th grade daughter who says she absolutely hates school, hates her teachers and just knows they are all out to get her. She’s also LD but doesn’t receive services and hasn’t since 5th grade. I just now emailed two of her teachers because I wanted to give her a chance to, hopefully, succeed on her own. Both told me they were concerned about her because she doesn’t turn in homework and doesn’t really want to participate in class. She is on 36 mg Concerta and for awhile, her 9th grade year, it seemed to help. She no longer bullies others. She resists all efforts of help from anyone, but also, refuses to help herself. We do see a psychologist, but not really sure if she benefits much. I’m just wondering what others in my situation have done for a kid who needs the help but refuses to ask and/or accept, from anybody. Thanks, Marcia
Re: ADD 10th Grade Daughter Who HATES School!
Right. It could well be that she thinks it through and decides even though high school is a bunbite, that she likes it better than other options - so her attitude could improve.
When it’s a sentence to be served, high school teaches all kinds of lessons that really don’t help at *all* after exiting.
Re: ADD 10th Grade Daughter Who HATES School!
both steve and sue raise valid points.. i work in an alternative setting that only works with teenagers with behavioural difficulties.. many of these kids thrive.. you will always get a small percentage that will slip through though..
mainstream schooling does not suit all.. it didn’t suit me, it doesn’t suit my child and it failed all my students..
Re: ADD 10th Grade Daughter Who HATES School!
I disliked college enough to drop out when the chance to go directly to college came up.
<yea, that was high school I dropped out of to go to college after 11th grade>
Re: ADD 10th Grade Daughter Who HATES School!
actually sue disliked hs…dropped out and went right to college. She liked that enough to get 2 degrees:)
peace,
marge
http://www.net-haven.net
We avoided much of the trouble you are experiencing by utilizing alternative school environments. There is not much sense in my mind in forcing a kid to go day after day into an environment that obviously does not work for them in any way. For some reason, in our culture we seem to believe that a standard high school is the only way a child can get an education, but this is clearly not true. Many great thinkers (like Einstein, Edison, Churchill, Gauss, and others) had a hard time with school, or perhaps it would be more accurate to say that school had a hard time with them.
Home education, alternative schools, taking classes at a community college, getting a GED and starting to work at a “real job”, all are viable alternatives for kids who don’t like high school in the standard sense. While there are pros and cons to any such arrangement, even having a discussion of the available alternatives will be a pleasant change of pace from “you have to do well in school, honey” which leaves the child feeling trapped and powerless. I hated high school with a passion and felt like I had been released from a P.O.W. camp when I finally graduated. But I LOVED college as much as I hated high school, mostly because I HAD CONTROL over my life.
I would have a talk with her and really listen to what she likes and doesn’t like about high school, and let her know that you are open to listening to alternative plans. Then LISTEN to her ideas, and don’t invalidate any of them, even if they seem outlandish (my son wants to start a rap group - I thought I was going to be an olympic athlete). See if you can get HER to take more responsiblity for either choosing a different path, or making the best of the one she has chosen currently. It’s not an easy prospect, but it can be done with patience and respect for her need to be autonomous and take control of her life.
It’s OK to hate high school. Many people do. The key is looking at what the other options are. If you can do that with her, you will be one big step ahead of where you are today.
–- Steve