I have a 2nd grader who really lacks self-confidence. He participates in regular math and language classes and I do pull-out reading with him. He doesn’t focus on teacher instruction and doesn’t make eye contact when we speak to him. He doesn’t talk much at all even when asked a question. He is successful, but I don’t think he sees himself that way. We use praise, stickers, points, etc. for motivation, but he is very reluctant to actively participate. Any ideas will be appreciated! Thanks!
Re: could it be his culture?
Culture is not the issue, but I will mention the eye contact to the speech pathologist. I never thought to let her now about it. Thanks!
Re: could be fear
My husband I did foster care for years and it was very common to have kids come to us that would not look you in the eye until you established trust.
Sometimes it was their fear of the unexpected, sometimes it was a result of abuse.
Time and understanding and showing the child respect that you value their ideas usually overcomes the detached behavior.
Re: could be fear
I agree it could be fear. One way I have given my students self-confidence is picking a topic in reading class or a favorite hobby that he really enjoys. We would go to the library find books on the subject, articles, websites, etc. It gave him even more knowledge about something he enjoyed and we then talked with his other teachers on letting him do a project or presentation to other students. For example, he took pride and joy in his pet dog. So we allowed him to do a separate project on the study of “taking care of pets”. He did very well when talking to his peers about the subject. However, it was a long-term project. But eventually, he began to smile, ask questions and participate with other students. It was probably the most exciting projects I had done in my college field experiences.
Re: self-confidence
It may take awhile. It may also be his personality. Some people remain shy throughout life. Perhaps he’s developing a comfort zone. I’ve had middle school students who still sound much like this child. He’s fortunate to have a teacher who is clearly willing to go the extra mile. I’m sure under your care if this child is destined to find his voice, he will.
any chance...
If this child is on the Autistic Spectrum, either HFA or Asperger’s avoiding eye contact is a result of their sensory integration and social isolation problems. As described by may adults with HFA, direct eye contact feels like an invasion, and can actually cause physical discomfort.
We were talking about this last night in one of my graduate seminars. Some children from other cultures have differences in the way that they address people and respond to questions. In some cultures it is a sign of respect to not look up when you are speaking to someone, and in others people think you are shy and possibly rude. Children from different cultural backgrounds could be thought of as shy and non-communicative. They may respond with appropriate eye contact when addressed one on one and not in a group. Another option is to have him participate in a pragmatics group led by a speech pathologist to help him give appropriate eye contact and how to communicate what he wants to say appropriately. It is hard to say what his issues are without knowing the whole picture.