You are correct. This method - originally proposed by Doman and Delacado - has been long shown to be incorrect in the concepts proposed and not successful as a treatment.

Your daughter will need both remedial tutoring and an education program that can accommodate for her special needs. If she is in a public school, these services should be available.

It is not uncommon for three year olds to not recognize letters and numbers. I suggest that you hold off on these exercises for now and just have fun with her.

Your description of his problems sound like a possible executive function disability (problems with organization and time planning).

Ask to meet with the principal of the school. Explain your concerns and the comments from his teacher.

Your daughter has what is called selective mutism. There are several possible causes. Have her evaluated by a child and adolescent psychiatrist.

You should be concerned. Have you discussed your questions with the professionals who have been working with your son?

I support your wish to have updated studies for your daughter done privately.

Go to the Office of Disability Services at the college you attended (or the one closest to you). Ask for names of professionals who evaluate and work with adults.

If your child is struggling with reading, testing should clarify why and how best to help him. If he is doing well in all other areas, retention may not be recommended.