Hello All,
This is my first time here so please be patient. I have a seven year old daughter, diagnosed ADD, predominately inattentive type, being treated with Adderal RX and Paxil(paxil because she has been so withdrawn, introverted, isolating herself, and sad). I have always known her to be a very sensitive child and when I first read the characteristics of ADD, they fit her like a glove. I KNEW that is what we were dealing with. Then in only days, as I continued researching, it came home to me that my daughter and I have the same characteristics, similar personality traits, and have suffered many of the same life events(loosing my mother, step father, father in law). In other words, I realized I too need help with ADD. I have spoken to my family practioner about this and have been taking Wellbuterin to see if it helped at all, but I really can’t see a difference in my lack of concentration, scatteredness, etc. I hope to discuss other alternatives with him and hoped that some of you might share with me what works for you?
Also, my daughter has begged me for the last year to home school her. She repeated first grade this past year and while she passed she still feels very uncomfortable there. She is extremely stressed in social settings with her peers. I have received such mixed advice about what is best. Her counselor believes that children need the public school experience to teach them social skills and how to cope. The Home Schoolers I know and speak with say that her sensitive nature, ADD, etc. would be better served by Home Schooling. After reading, praying, talking to anyone who will listen, I have come to understand the benefits of Home Schooling are tremendous and I would love to provide them to my daughter, and my four year old son, but….here’s the BIG question, …can I do it? I have NO confidence in myself when it comes to this. I have never been a very organized person, but since my mother passed away sixteen months ago, we inherited a majority of her things, then my father in law passed and we inherited a majority of his things, and our little house runneth over!!! Well, rocket scientist I am not, but I did finally get the idea that we had to unload, ALOT. Our twelve hundred square foot just couldn’t get organized with that much stuff in it. My husband finally figured out how to increase the size of our attic space and now we are slowly recoving our house. Still, the organization, consistency, patience, etc. that are all essential eliments to a successful Home Schooling experience are not things that come naturally or easily for me. We have struggled thrugh home work, we struggle through disapline issues, and I wonder if I could really handle such an enormous responsibility, or if I am fooling myself to even consider I ever could? I have heard from family and friends around me that I don’t have what it takes, which of course does little for my confidence or self esteem. Still, there’s my bright eyed little girl looking up at me wanting me to do this thing and I need to be able to know exactly what is the best course for our family to take, public school(which I have serious concerns about) or Home Schooling with an ADD parent(which I also have serious concerns about)? Any comments, suggestions, advice, opinions, etc. would be greatly appreciated. I feel as if I am at a crossroad and afraid to take a step for fear of making the wrong choice.
Please advise me,
Debra
Re: Any Home Schooling Parents with ADD?
Thanks Amy,
Sorry I haven’t replied before, sided tracked again. I have been reading about dyslexia and I want to get Lillie evaluated on that now as I know that she also is suffering silently with it as well, as have I been since I was small. Yikes, it is both scary and good to finally have a name to put of these problems. Thanks for your reply. I have backed off yet again from my homeschooling idea for fear of making matters worse as I feel I am not capable of it at present. I also feel the need to finish my scattered college experience. We could use some job security and extra income. I still worry though, as I have dropped out three times now if I can do it. I know your right, I will need to go get that help. I can see clearly how this is interfering with so many aspects of my life. Also, I did the same thing with Lillie’s adderal RX 5mg. Your right, it wasn’t much but it made working on chores sooooo much easier. I didn’t tell my husband what I had done, just asked if he could tell if I was behaving any different. Sometimes, when I forgot my antidepressants I would get weird, so he wouldn’t have necessarily suspected a experiment. He said yes, I had gotten more done (completed) in that one day than I have in months! He said I don’t know what you did, but keep doing it! Well, I guess I am going to have to press the doctor on the topic of stimulant medications. I am not really sure why, but a friend told me they are often reluctant to give them to adults. I think she didn’t do very much research if that is what she found. Everything I have read has indicated that most doctors are receptive to at least try them. Now it just has me worried. The whole, “He will think I am crazy thing”. Also, my daughter is difficult with homework as well, which is one of the reasons I have been fearful about three long hours of concentrated school work with just me and her. She seems to want to please her teachers more than me. I won’t say I won’t ever try homeschooling because I think it is wonderful, but just that I don’t think I am ready now. Thank goodness I can still be honest with myself, at least a little. Still avoid those mirrors, but we are working on that one too. Thanks for the encouraging words and I hope to hear from you again sometime.
Have a great day!
Deb
Re: Any Home Schooling Parents with ADD?
Instead of homeschooling, why not look into other options? I have ADD. I am 48 and was in grade school in the 60’s. I wish that they had known about ADD back then - medication and treatment would have been a BIG help.
BUT the one thing that probably saved me was that I attended a small Lutheran parochial school where the total enrollment for K-8 was less than 300. The individual attention I received from the teachers was invaluable to helping me learn. They kept me interested. And although I rarely, if ever did my homework, I was able to pay attention well enough during class that when combined with all of the interesting things that I was learning with OTHERS thought I was only distracted, allowed me to get by quite well.
I would really suggest against homeschooling because she HAS to learn to deal with people eventually, and shielding her now may cause more harm later.
Get her into an educational environment that is both knowledable and supportive of her condition!
A couple of things. First I have add/inattentive, I tried wellbutrin for 30 days, it worked great for my ‘agitation’, as my 13 yr old son described it. I asked my family to describe any changes they saw. They didn’t see any change nor did I in my disorganization or ability to follow through. I have muddled about since with no meds. This was about a year ago.
If you don’t see a change for the better from your meds, go back to the doc and see if you can try something else. I have tried my kids ritalin, just a 5mg tablet and there was a big difference, I didn’t feel speeded up but I was able to tell myself to finish the job I was working on each time I got the urge to watch tv or read instead. Normally I only half finish any job I am doing around the house.
What I am getting to is that if you get a med that works for you, to help you resist the impulses that get you sidetracked, you would most likely be able to organize yourself so that you would be able to successfully homeschool your daughter. Getting an add coach would also help, if that person were a psyche, then you could also get help/support for your self esteem. You seem to be a bright person who will probably do well.
I don’t homeschool my kids because we butt heads too much, just trying to get homework done in the early years with my older add son before he was on medicine was a nightmare. My youngest is adhd and on meds but he has always been much easier to work with. However, he doesn’t need the assistance academically that my older son needs and receives from sp.ed.
If you go on the bulletin board here called homeschooling an adhd(ld) child, there are lots of folks with homeschooling experience who could help you out with this question.