hi,
is there anyonw here from new zealand.. who can give me info on a specilist who deals with addlt add.
went to a physcoligist had the iq tests etc.. n they are putting it down to early hild abuse.. rubbishhhh. i’ve delt with that.
but my life is a mess. constant kaos at home.. nothing eva gets done.. well nothing i want to try n do i always find myself doing something else instead.. then keep on getting sidetracked.. alwasy late for appts.. if i rerember them at all.
read driven to distraction n this fits me to a T. cried as i read the book cuz i knew it was me.
read a day in the life of a a.d. d. women at addmirablewoman.com..
*copied here*
A day in the life of an ADD woman is never simple. She has
a constant dialogue in her head, telling her everything she should be doing and more. The house is a mess … dirty dishes, piles of laundry, stacks of papers, last month’s newspapers, and just general clutter everywhere. The electric company is at the door for the overdue payment, which wasn’t paid not because she didn’t have the money, but because she just didn’t get around to paying it for one of the usual reasons
(she couldn’t find her checkbook, misplaced the bill, didn’t have any stamps, etc.). The doctor’s office is phoning to see
why she didn’t show up for her appointment this morning –
she simply forgot. It was written on her big calendar on the
fridge, but she hasn’t looked at the calendar yet. They say
they can see her if she comes right away, but again she
doesn’t make it – for the life of her she can’t find her car
keys. The kids are phoning from school because she forgot
to send their lunches. No car keys, so she has to walk the
lunches to school, too rushed and frazzled to realize that she
forgot to pack drinks.
When she returns home her best friend is there to pick her
up for their lunch date. Lunch??? She hasn’t even brushed
her hair today! So off she goes for lunch, feeling
self-conscious because her hair’s a mess, she has no make-up on, and her friend looks like a million bucks. Lunch runs into a quick trip to the mall where she gets immersed in the craft and decorating aisles. Three hours later, on the way home, her friend asks for the blouse back that she borrowed last month. She’s done with it, but has no idea where it is and
knows it’s not clean. So she makes up the excuse that she’ll
need it one more time this weekend, so she doesn’t have to
turn her upside-down house right-side up looking for it, and
so her friend has no reason to come in and see what a
disaster her house is.
She returns home to find her kids sitting on the porch crying
… they got home 20 minutes ago. Once in the house she tells
them to do their homework, but they say they need her help
so she tells them to wait until later – she needs to make supper. Then an interesting talk show comes on TV, so she
decides to sit and watch for a minute, while she figures out
what to make for supper. An hour later, her husband walks
through the door and says, “Where’s supper?� She races
around trying to throw together something that is edible.
Over dinner her husband reminds her of the presentation
he’ll be giving at a business seminar that night, and says how
glad he is that she agreed to go with him. Seminar??? She
forgot to book a babysitter, she didn’t pick up her husband’s
suit at the cleaners (which is now closed), and she still hasn’t
done anything with her hair. After some frantic hair-washing, closet-raiding, and about a dozen phone calls, she’s ready to go and the babysitter’s on her way.
When the babysitter arrives, she spends half an hour
apologizing and making up excuses for the house being such a mess. She offers to pay the babysitter an extra hour if she
would clean the table and do the dishes. Her husband is in
the car honking the horn, already grumpy over the suit, so
away she goes. But all the way there, all she can think about
is how she forgot to tell the babysitter where they’d be, and
she forget to ask her to make sure the kids did their
homework. She’ll have to call home once they get there.
Upon arriving at the seminar, she immediately gets nervous
and anxious, and wonders why she agreed to come in the first
place. All of her husband’s co-workers wives are there. She
has net them all before, but just doesn’t feel like she fits in.
Although she knows she’s just as intelligent and interesting as
they are, she always seems to have trouble starting a
conversation or keeping one going. She knows which one is
whose wife, but she can’t remember most of their names.
hey are talking mostly about all the clubs and organizations
and associations that they belong to. She doesn’t belong to
anything, for the exact same reasons as why she feels she
doesn’t belong here – she just can’t seem to fit in. So she
sits. And she sits. Her body is with them, but her mind is
somewhere else. She gets mad at herself for being so shy
and feeling so inferior. But she knows that if she joins in on
the conversation, she’ll either talk too much and not know
when to shut up, or she’ll say something really stupid. She
wants so much for them to include her, and she is longing for
their acceptance. But her body language shows that they
bore her, and her inability to make eye contact tells them
that she’s not interested. So for the next two hours she just
sits there and fidgets … appearing bored on the outside, but
on the inside her mind is doing cartwheels. She is beating
herself up for being so stupid. She feels like a failure, like
a misfit, and like she’s totally inferior and incompetent. At
least if her husband were sitting with her, she wouldn’t feel
quite as uncomfortable, and maybe she’d be able to contribute to the conversation.
Finally the seminar is over. All the way home she replays the
evening in her mind, wishing she had at least made an effort
to be more sociable. Those women must think she’s a total
snob. Meanwhile, her husband quietly drives, waiting for a
compliment on his presentation that will never come.
Upon arriving home, she pays the babysitter, thanks her for
coming on such short notice, and again apologizes that the
house was such a mess. She changes, throws her clothes in a pile on the floor, and crawls into bed. She wants to cuddle … it’s been a long day and she needs to be comforted. But her husband is not very responsive. After some coaxing, he
finally admits that he’s upset because she never said a word
about his presentation. She apologizes, and tells him that his
presentation was wonderful (although she didn’t hear a word
of it and has no idea what it was about). He doesn’t want to
hear it now – she’s only saying it now to make him feel better. They turn their backs to each other and go to sleep.
The next morning she gets up, gets her husband off to work,
gets her kids off to school, fixes her hair, and puts some
make-up on. The sun is shining, she’s had a good night’s sleep, and she feels energetic. She looks around at her messy house and decides that today is the day. She throws a batch of cookies in the oven, picks up the piles off the floor, and heads for the vacuum. Upon walking down the hallway, she trips over her bags of crafts that she bought yesterday.
She stands and stares for a moment … it’s early … there
should be enough time to do one quick project and still get
the house cleaned. Then the doorbell rings … the cable
company is there to disconnect her because the bill wasn’t
paid. Then the phone rings … her son’s teacher is calling to
tell her that he didn’t do his homework yesterday. The smoke
detector goes off … her cookies are burning.
… It’s just another day in the life of a woman with ADD.
Copyright 1999 Patti L. Petit
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but WHO is in new zealand that specialises in addult add. where can i go.. this stupid physicaligist.. didnt think that addults could get ADD. *well duhhhh* so help please if you know of anyone i can see.. please post a reply here. thankiesss. ;-)