Hey, as you can see this is my first time here and glad to see this board’s around. Anyway, I’m a 20 year old guy and I was diagnosed with auditory processing disorder a few years ago. Up until I started going to college and working, I didn’t have too many problems with my APD since I was homeschooled. I had loads of issues with processing sound and all that but I think because I was kind of quiet and I liked writing it sort of blended into background.
College hasn’t been too bad, except that means dealing with the lectures and all the campus background noise. I’m currently on break until fall. I’m working as a freelance writer right now, so that means I don’t necessarily have to deal with hearing or talking to people unless I get the occasional client who wants a phone or Skype interview.
But it really wasn’t until I got with my partner that I noticed all my issues. I’m the first person he’s ever been with who’s had some kind of LD.
For one, there’s the music. He loves music and I don’t mind it once in a while. But having music blasting in the bedroom, car, etc means it’s almost impossible for me to understand what’s going on. I don’t want to be a jerk and tell him he can’t enjoy something he’s loved for years but sometimes I just want him to turn the music down. But he gets really annoyed when I ask him, even if he plays it off.
Then, the memory thing. I have a hard time remembering certain things people have told me. This really annoys him.
Loads of times, people open their mouths and I can’t process anything they’re saying if I’m stressed or there’s too much background noise. It kind of scares me when that happens. And he’s all “well, why didn’t you hear me? i was right next to you.”
I’ve always been really self-concious about my hearing. But hearing it from him, it’s like I’m not trying hard enough. I’m trying, okay? Every day I have to strain and focus just to have a basic conversation. Sometimes I’m just drained and exhausted by the end of the day. I can’t just pop on a hearing aid and make everything better.
Honestly, lately I’ve been kind of depressed. I’m ashamed of how stupid I probably come across to everyone. And half the time I don’t want to interact with people or go out because I’ll just look stupid. I don’t really have resources in the area or even really online.
How do I explain why I feel the way I do and what my LD means to my partner? And how do I deal with life in general?
Thanks.