Years of tears

Thanks AA,
I don’t want to be completely negative about the education of LD/ADHD kids in the US and about LD/ADHD adults entering the teaching field. Several points:
1. I taught for 7 years in North Dakota on a Sioux Reservation in a BIA school. The special education teachers there were extremly supportive to each other and to the students…maybe it was the “Indian Way”…because a person becomes a part of a “family”. Everything was done by the book and with the students best interest in mind. I also had positive experiences with the off-reservation schools in Bismarck, ND in programing for my severely ADHD son (who graduated with his class through the assisstance of the 504 coordinator at his school and who is now a General manager for Ruby Tuesday making more money than I). However, the reality is that systems and schools vary grteatly. I would recommend that a person check out the success rate and the morality level at a school before obtaining a job teaching. I have just had a very negative experience here, in southern Georgia.
2. LD and ADHD continue to be highly misunderstood. i was diagnosed at the beginning of recognizing that people don’t outgrow these neuro-biological conditions. They are life long. They can however be a “gift”. I think there is a great need for more LD/ADHD people in the education field. I once worked in a treatment setting for alcoholics and drug addicts. Most of the best counselors were recovering alcoholics. They had lived through what their patients were experiencing. Just as LD/ADHD adults can best understand the students with the same diagnoses. Of course there are some great counselors and teachers that are neither addicts or LD/ADHD. But they are few and far between.
3. What is needed is more support such as this bulletin board, more education by real experts in these areas. And more intervention and advocacy on the behalf of LD/ADHD kids, their parents and the adults whom tyhe kids inevitablly grow up to be.
Georgia

Georgia,

First of all, my heart goes out to you. Second of all, you bring up such good points about ADD and LD in the school systems. I really believe the “experts” in the schools do want to help, but sometimes the notions they have about these issues seem dated and incomplete. I think that sets a lot of these kids up to feel like failures and then have nothing to fall back on as ADHD adults.

Also, I feel odd mentioning it, because certainly you are more qualified to judge and you’ve been around others more qualified to judge, but it seems to me like you’re probably dealing with much more than the basics of ADHD. Mistaking girls for giraffe could be a visual or auditory processing disorder rather than a memory problem and, the short term memory problems could be somewhere in the dyslexia range. Have you considered an evaluation by an education specialist? Just a thought. Maybe there’s something else you can to to help get your powerful brain where it can do the most good!

Take care of yourself, and don’t give up. There are lots of kids out there looking for someone like you to help them!

Thanks LAS…
No, I have never been tested for LD formally, but I do know that I have severe processing deficits in sequencial memory. I HAVE to have things written down to understand… I will lipread a speakers words to help understand what is being said. I remember little auditorily, and not much more visually. Funny, but my uncle who is deaf has finger spelled words to me that created the same problem as oral spelling. I find myself trying to catch the letters, line them up in my “mind’s note pad” and then trying to read them. Fortunately, people rarely spell to me…. so…. That is the least of the problem. I have also been diagnosed with disthymia and occaisionally lapse into full blown dpression. This happens when I feel over whelmed and unsupported. After a 3 month hiatus from medication, I am starting on several anti depressants again (tonight). Unfortunately, it takes up to 3 weeks to kick in and nothing will take back my telling the boss that I was quitting my job on the spot and that I was tired of being “ttreated like a jack-ass”. That didn’t go over too well!! At one point we were between “I quit” and “You’re fired”. But, we talked it out and I was told to take a day off for my health. I am also dealing with my mother’s rapid decline of Multiple Myeloma (which is in the terminal stage). I did a good job advocating for myself today. And after getting a lecture on what I should have and should not have done, I asked the principal to lower her voice, I stated that when I am under stress, I may slip out of “professional” behavior and respond much as my students do, that I could not undo what I said, I said it and it is done, it was not good judgement, it was impusivity pure and simple and gave life to itself. This is the first time since September that I had done or said something “stupid”. But when I walked around all day thinking I was stupid and worthless, I knew that my depression was full blown and needing medical attention. I am usually pretty up and bouyant. Anyhow, I digress… but yes, it is also an LD that affects my life. Thanks for your sincere message. :0)

Thanks again AA. :o)
Georgia

Hearing your story just makes me want to cry. I do feel for you because I
have a son who has been diagnosed as being L.D. in the reading domain. He
actual diagnosis is that he is dyslexic. I have mananged to get him tutoring
paid for through our school district which is definately helping. He too would
have read “girls” as something else. Now they want me to have him tested
for ADHD, the more research I do I often wonder if I too should have been
diagnosised after all I see alot of me in him. Many of the same or similiar
problems. I feel for him and get very angry at people who cannot see past
the end of their nose to try to understand exactly what LD’s really are. Until
someone takes the time to understand and learn about LD’s they are the
ignorant ones. Not you or anyone dealing with these problems or dealing
with them for their children. Please don’t give up on teaching you need to
find a place where there is support for you. My son’s Tutor works at a
college for LD students.Then there are other private schools out there that
are for the LD student. Look for one and continue teaching. Our children
need more understanding teachers that know what it is like to have a LD,
and can work with them. Find yourself moral support be it friends or family,
even people over the internet. This I have found gives you the extra needed
support and strength that you need. It also gives you the ability to say I
can do this I am a much stronger person than they are, after all look what
I have had to go through to get where I am, I didn’t have this handed to
me on a silver platter I EARNED, And WORKED VERY HARD to make
this GREAT ACHIEVEMENT in my life. And I do believe you did!! You
are better than they are and you deserve the credit for what you have
accomplished. I APPLAUDE YOU!!!!!!! Keep up the great work, Our
kids need you.
In order to maybe show your co-workers what you have gone through,
there is a movie How Difficult Can this Be. Look for it, it was aired along
time ago on PBS, it is an excellent movie and really puts a so called normal
person in the shoes of a LD person. It is a real eye opener to the real
world and it is one I would recommend to everyone to watch. You can’t,
unlesse you don’t pay attention, to see how real a learning disability is and
how frustrating it can be. Find this movie and request it be shown in a
faculty meeting, or even in an assembly for the school. The children in the
school will learn that their piers aren’t different but that they see things in
a totally different way. Until people start learning this they will never
understand that everyone is equal, but some learn differently. Good luck to
you and let me know how things go for you. I’ll be here cheering you on!

Georgia—I don’t see ention of treatment for ADHD. Over 60% of LD students suffer ADHD also. The right medication would treat the impulsivity, racing mind, etc. I urge you to get a full psychiatric/educational evaluation to extend the means available to help you cope. Good luck

CA… thanks for your support… Yes I have been on Ritalin in the past, but presnetly take Wellbutrin for the ADHD. Ritilin made me feel “driven”. I was on no meds for about 3 months and just started them again recently. I hate the fact that I may need to take them forever to fit into the non-LD/ADHD world, but it does reduce problems enough to justify being on it.

Please don’t feel like *you’ve* failed because you have to quit. I also left the field — taught in three schools for 8 total years where I did okay, well sort of, but had real organizational issues — and then foudn a great job at a very supportive school and… the issues didn’t go away. I was there for five years, plugging away…had evaluations for ADD and a neuropsych battery… but yes, depression grabs you when you really do find the perfect job except you can’t do it. (If you can do it, get a good neuropsych battery. This guy was a: wise enough not to give me the tests I already knew all about :) and b: gave me lots of specific information about where my memory works and where it doesn’t!)
I look at it this way — teaching was a job that *almost* fit — like shoes. And if they’re tight in one spot, all the “breaking in” in the world will just raise blisters and eventually you throw your back out and you can’t even walk.
I didn’t finish the Instructional Technology degree I started because my mother called with her lung cancer diagnosis in April that first year and I went back to see her through that; but while that was happening I got a six-month stint thru a grant at LD OnLine, which led indirectly to some free-lance writing, and right now I’m working 20 hrs/week at the local community college, tutoring. And I’m still not organized, and boss-types still often find me threatening… but like Dr. Levine says, I work to my strenghts and it’s working.

Sue,
I found this web site by accident last week while looking for reading comprehension activities for my students. I agree that I need to find as job that “fits”. I’d love to be an advocate, and get paid for it, but have yet to come up with a job in that area. I think some of us should start our own REAL advocacy organization. Afterall, we’ve been there (and still are :o) ) I’m also planning a instructional guide for Math that I want to be a consult on, and planning to open an interior design and Feng Shui shop in 3 years. Right now, I’m leaning toward a job in teaching for 3 more years. If I can stick it out (who knows maybe I will like the next school), I will get a small monthly pension from the state of Georgia. Most importantly, I know that I can either flourish or wither depending on how much support I get on a job. My motto is: “Don’t stay anywhere too long where you are not appreciated”.

sigh…I’ve given up the dream of ever getting a degree in anything. I’ve self-taught myself so much, but to sit in a class and just be quiet and learn, even at the age of 42, just seems so…well…creepy. I can hold my own in conversations with PhD’s, and most people assume I do have a degree anyway. Except there are references made which I don’t click to…books read, courses taken, etc.

The one time I went back to college, I had to take a remedial math course. There was some ‘whatever’ (I hate math with a passion), and the teacher was saying we had to do it this one way…and well, I somehow did it quicker with a method I came up with on my own…and he said I couldn’t do that because it wasn’t the right way. I argued that I’d gotten the correct answer, so how could my method be wrong…and well…anyway, he won, and I quit.

I’m a word person…the other side of the brain which handles math just doesn’t cope well. I do think logic is fun, and since I homeschool my daughter (bipolar 1, possible seizure disorder of limbic region), I’ve had to dabble in math a bit. But my brain won’t hold anything in math that requires a mind that sticks math facts in certain pigeon-holes.

Despite my math stupid factor, when I took the MENSA test, I scored a 92 percent, which griped the hell outta me. I mean…two points below entry and official genius-dumb. Oh, well, chances lost.

I took a battery of neuro-psych tests that lasted about eight hours. Turns out I’m so left brained, that my right side is unevenly stronger than my left side, to the point where I can be clumsy due to lack of parity. My hand grip displayed the difference between the two sides of my body. I still believe it has something to do with the amygdala and whatever that thing is that passes info from one side of the brain to the other. I don’t have a barrier between the two hemispheres, I have a reinforced concrete wall.

I admire ‘anyone’, ADHD or not, who finishes college and gets their degree. It’s just not in my future, and I accept that. However, writing a bestseller might be possible if I can ever buckle down and write consistently.

Bonita

Hello,

I read your message and feel everything you talk about. I just quit a job 3 months ago having similar problems. I have ADD and am a licensed social worker with a BA in Liberal Arts and had worked in the field of mental health with adults, adolescents and young children for quite some time. In the job I just quit I was doing alcohol and drug as well as mental health assessments for the county. I have alot of experience working with LD, ADD/ADHD clients as well as being ADD and have a daughter who has ADHD. I too have found that stereotypes are extremely prevalent with not just the children but on the job as well. It made me sorry I ever told anyone I had ADD. So many professionals don’t understand it or don’t believe it. They want to call it something else. There were so many times that co-workers would look at me like I was crazy for wanting to diagnose someone with ADHD. Even when there was a clear history. I began my last job in 8/00. It was a job that like yours had a lot of paperwork involved and I had to find a lot of ways to structure myself. There were times when I would get behind but I was never the only one in my department behind. I was also in the process of changing medications and finding one that worked for me. When I started taking Concerta that was when I noticed how severe my attention defecit had been. I was able to notice that I didn’t feel the urge to get up and participate in a conversation going on in the hall that had nothing to do with me. It made me wish I had known long ago. I struggled through college just as you did but because I was not treated at that time and my grades suffered. I made it out with a 2.56. I felt lucky just to make it through. I was also proud of the fact that I got my LSW on the first try. It has affected my jobs over the years when I didn’t even know it. In the last job as I said, my attention defecit was targeted to a point and I ended up in a corrective action plan two months after my yearly review had said I was doing fine. I even got human resources involved but it wasn’t much help. I kept going trying to fix all the things they asked me to fix until it was to the point, if I was late by a second or got behind one bit or took too long to do an assessment that they were going to find some way to fire me. I ended up resigning. This took a toll on my health as well. I had been sick with something every month from 8/00 to 11/00 which caused me to be off of work a day or two here and there. My blood pressure had gone up. My anxiety had shot through the roof. I wasn’t sleeping well. I was crying all the time and was having alot of stomach problems. I contacted an attorney to see if I had any legal recourse if they fired me. That was before I decided to quit. The attorney basicly told me they could treat me any way they wanted to and that I had no recourse. My boss wasn’t a man, I was caucasian and so therefore I had nothing. Never mind that my boss was in a relationship with the psychologist who was also supervising me. They are both females and I could care less about that but when they use their relationship to mess with my job it was the most unethical thing I have ever seen. That is something else which I have noticed that is truly lacking in the field. Right now I am at home and wary of what job I decide to apply for. I don’t know if I will go back to the field or not. I am taking a break. I began to feel ineffective. Something else I had a problem with is that I am not a yes man and when I see soemthing that is not right I speak up. They didn’t like that about me either. So I guess this is to say I understand. I wish more people did. I applaud people who are having good experiences. I guess it depends on the area you live in and how they deal with these issues. My biggest concern right now is how to effectively parent my daughter. We seem to get on each others nerves to no end. IF there are any good books on being ADD and parenting and ADHD child someone let me know.

Gina

I am moving to MN from downunder early next year..I am 40 next January give or take a decade…yes 50
thank you for being you kd

Georgia,
You give us all a lesson in persistence and determination! I know sometimes trying treatments is so hit and miss, but one thing that helped my depression is using omega-3 supplementation.

I used to think, sure everyone would be depressed in my situation. Like you said, struggling with ADHD is hard enough. Constant criticism, missing goals, disappointing yourself and others… who wouldn’t be depressed!

I read an article about the omega-3 supplementation and how one Dr. was using it for depression with good results and had found older research that showed it was used successfully for manic-depression. I read a little more on it and found that most of the US is deficient and people suffering from ADHD are more so - either they can’t process it or don’t take enough in. I gave it a try. I used it without noticing much effect for a few weeks, then stopped. My husband noticed right away that I missed my dose. I was depressed AND raging. I went back on. My kids call it my happy pill. I’m at the point now, after 18 months, where I can miss a dose without too much ill effect, but more than that and I slip back into depression.

I just thought I’d mention it because depression happens so often with ADHD and this really helped me in measurable ways.

Laurie

Dear Georgia,

I certainly empathize with your struggles since they mimic my own life experiences. I had terrible experiences in school and starting work. I obtained a BS degree in SOWK and Psychology, with a minor in Sociology. I also earned a MS degree in Recreation, emphasis in Therapeutic Recreation. Last year I passed the national certification exam, a month later my only living grandmother passed away and then a few weeks after the funeral, I got a supplemental position in a large “trauma” hospital working with children with disabilities (I won’t go into all the details since it’s elsewhere on the message board - either here or on the LD board). Needless to say, I learned a lot from being fired from that job, the one I thought would be “the one”. I filled a suit with the EEOC, and the Civil Liberties Union, last year and haven’t heard anything back yet. I refuse to let people walk all over me and to assume untruths about me and my character. I believe that having LD and ADHD is both a blessing in disguise but also a cross I must carry.

The reason why I’m telling you all of this is that what I have read in your posting gives me reason to believe you might have a form of dyslexia, along with depression that usually “comes along for the ride”. I have learned a lot about my LD (dyslexic organization, reading comprehension, dyscalculia etc.) since I have been in the process of wrting my book about living with such disorders; I am learning so much because this new awareness has led me to wonderful people who have also written great books, such as “Driven to Distraction:” by Dr. Edward Hallowell, and “And the Sun Still Rises” by Deborah Renzi - Both authors have LD and ADHD quite similar to my own. I also would suggest that you get a thorough neuropsychological exam by a qualified professional (talk with your local CHADD coordinator for references). Even though I was diagnosed with LD, ADHD, and depression in 1989 the misdiagnoses still followed. I used Voc. Rehab. to my advantage (paying for my neuropsych. exam since their exam is just a few psy.tests) , which is a shame that I have to stay one step ahead of them. The Bazelon Center for Mental Health Law (on the web) is also a great resources.

I am confident that since you made it through all the hoops of higher academics that you can also make it through the quagmire of finding help to deal with your disorders. Don’t give up! You have a lot to offer and the world needs you! Even if you don’t see it right now, you have made a difference in many lives.

Yes, I to have to write down everything, even directions when I have to stop somewhere when I get lost. and people give me these weird looks like “why can’t you just remember the simple directions that I giving you instead of wasting time to write them down”.

At 36 I am learning that even though the working world seems to be light years behind me and other intelligent people like myself who I have found on (LD Online, CHADD, and Dr. Hallowell’s message boards) various message boards, it is my responsibility to educate others so that the children growing up now do not have to suffer as much as I had to growing up. I have found that many people in society are open minded and would like to help if they only knew more about how to help and had more information at their disposal; at the same time, it’s sad that the minority of people who are closed minded and ignorant taint the good intentions of others … believe me I have met a few of them and unfortunately let them “rent space in my mind” and take up too much of my time worrying about what they say. As long as I can feel good about myself every night (not hurting others intentionally, not lying intentionally to others, living by my values, morals. ethics which forms my character) by how I live my life then I can be satusfied with what I have done during the day … am I happy, I don’t know if I would go that far on some days because the truth is that there are others out there who are so unhappy with themselves that they unintentionally try to bring others down. I think that the “gift” of ADHD is that we perservere through all sorts of situations in life. I am happy to say that I have found a great support system of family, friends, faith and a great CHADD group.

Believe in yourself! Pamper yourself for a “job” well done so far!
Hope this helps.

Take care of yourself,
Maria

Thank you to all the replies, advice, support and encouragement. I do think that i will follow up with a complete neuro-psychological exam. it would be nice to see my LD on paper so to speak so that I can understand it better. Does anyone know of anyone in the Savannah Georgia area that may test me? Also, does anyone know of a CHADD group near here? Again, thanks to all of you!!
Georgia

Hi Georgia,

I think the best way to find a neuropsychologist is to contact your local CHADD chapter (www.chadd.org … and click on chapter locator) and ask them who they would reccomend since the National Chapter cannot offer such “advice” (your local chapter should have a link from the National site, with phone numbers and or e-mail addresses - both work great I think)..
I also noticed that at the home page (even at the top of this bulletin board) of the ldonline site is the section that has many links that you can click on for help, but I think the topic that would help you would be the section titled “finding help”, which is located on the bottom row and about a few colored blocks to the right of the link titled “Bulletin Boards”. My somewhat local CHADD chapter has been of enormous help to me and I don’t know what I would do without them. I talk to Joan Hart, who is the coordinator of the chapter I attend and she is absolutely great! I cannot say enough nice things about her - I e-mail her with my concerns, she sends me back understanding, and great contacts when I asked for a neuropyschologist. I love her honestly.

I have only been attending the CHADD mtgs. for a little over 6 months but I have to tell you that I love going to them because I have met so many highly intelligent people who also are having similar problems to mine. It’s so comforting and reassuring, at the same time, to be able to have an intellectual conversation while at the same time try to brain storm, or just talk about struggles … stategies that have worked in the past, etc., all without appearing dumb.
Hope this further helps you.

Take care,
Maria

OK, so I see all of you here. WHY, WHY, WHY, (!!!!???!!) do I have to be so alone where I live?

I am about to begin my hunt for a new pediatrician, because the old one hands us an Rx, and that’s all. I am also about to contact the Georgia Advocacy people to find out how to begin to get my boys what they need from the school system.
They are 17, (diagnosed at 6), and 11, (diagnosed at 6).I just now found out that such a thing as an IEP exists. Should be interesting.

This is only a part of the picture. I often feel as if I am barely able to “keep my head above water”, with my own severe ADD
problems.

Years of tears indeed!

Hey Audrey…..
Where in Georgia do you live? I live in Georgia too. Let me know if I can help you. I’m also a special ed teacher.
Georgia

Audrey….
You kids have a right to have an IEP as Other Health Impaired. Go to the school and tell them you want your kids evaluated and placed in OHI. Also, your kids have a right to a 504 Accommodation Plan (The same law that give people a ramp and the handicapped bathrooms). It is part of Civil Rights. Tell the school that you want a meeting to discuss these options. Ask why the school never initiated either special education referral or a 504 plan. If the kids are failing then it was the school responsibility to seek a remedy. Buy a tape recorder and from now on at every meeting inform the school personnel that you are taping the meeting. (You have to inform them and you have a right to record the meeting. Don’t ask if they mind, just tell them you are recording the meeting.) Get a hold of the Georgia Advocacy….Its through Civil Rights and based out of Atlanta I think. You have an excellent case of the school not following Due Process in identifying and evaluating and helping your kids be successful in school. Try try try to get a good advocate. The ones in North Dakota were great but I wasn’t as impressed with the Georgia Office. Still, it depends on who you get. Listen for turn offs such as “lazy” or “irresponsible” or “personality conflict”…If you hear those words or something similar, search on. By the way, next time you hear “lazy”, let the person know that you find that lack of knowlegde and lack of understanding demeaning, offensive and a form of harrassment. Thats what it is. By the way, I am south of Savannah.
Georgia

Georgia - Your story - difficulties with a short attention span and paying attention - sounds a lot like a book written years ago titled How to Cure Hyperactivity (1981) - an ADHD autobiography - by C. Thomas Wild with Anita Uhl Brothers, M.D. It was available through the non-profit LDA.

Wow! Am I ever glad I found this page!

You dear people. “Years of Tears” is such a perfect title for this thread. I have a grown son who has had ADHD, two nephews, two brothers and am now in the process of being diagnosed for ADD, myself. I always wondered why I had so much trouble keeping organized. It should have been clearer givin the family history, but I never added 1 + 1.

After starting teaching, I’ve felt as if I were drowning. Especially after moving from Kindergarten to second grade. Our campus has open classrooms with only partial wall dividers between classrooms and no doors. The distraction level beats on me all day. I can bring extensive lesson plans and not be able to follow them because of all the distractions. So I would be wandering around feeling at such a loss. We also have to change rooms every 2-3 months. That creates even more opportunities to lose things, lose pacing, classroom control, etc. We have to recreate the ideal structure over and over again all year.

The only partial solution I’ve found so far is to teach totally structured lessons. The children stayed engaged better and I could lead a class within the structure. But so many schools are entranced by centers and special buddy and or cooperative groups. I just don’t know how to deal with all of that. Maybe if I had an enclosed class with a real door. Oh what a delicious luxury that would be!!

The first psychologist found that her battery of tests showed classic ADD and she felt that my depression was partly due to my inability to function at full capacity and that my constant fatigue was probably exhaustion from having to expend so much energy in order to stay afloat. She referred me to a Psychiatric testing Doctor for cognitive functioning tests. He also gave me an MMPI and Milan inventory.

I have a high IQ in many areas (not in all) and that seems to be why I’ve coped thus far. But my grades have suffered over the years.

Does anyone know about ADA (Americans with Disabilities) provisions for people like us? In order to stay in teaching, I feel that I have to be placed in a classroom that stays in one place and has walls and a door. I did much better at my first teaching job — a private school with a real room.

Well, here’s to all of you. You are very brave souls indeed!

Ann

Oh, I didn’t check the e-mail box. I would love to hear from any of you!

Ann

I am a teacher too. I teach Language Arts to 7th graders. Yikes!
I recently found out that I have ADD. I was forced (or felt forced) to tell my principal that I had ADD and depression because she was on the verge of either moving me to teach social studies, or firing me. By the way, I told my union representative before I told my principal. She has been present at all of my meetings with my principal. I document everything that is said in a meeting or with another colleague. Very important.
Before I told my principal, I made it very clear to her that the only people who knew I had it were my doctor, husband, the union representative, and herself. If the information was leaked out, I would seek legal representation. Even though we work in a school setting, I hear some staff make some very inappropriate comments. I know that they would not be very understanding.
Well, once I told her, her whole attitude changed. I don’t know if it is for real or not, but I am much happier. I explained that I did not want anyone to know, but I did want to do some educating. So we talked about teaching a seminar before school started about ADHD/ADD, since we work with so many students who have it.
I also suggested that she read “Driven to Districation” by Hallowell. I bought a copy for her and my union representative. Once finished, she said she will put it in the professional library of our school. She is actually reading it and she treats me with much more respect, understanding, and she is actually listening to me.
I have also been researching on accomodations in the workplace. In the back of the book, “Driven to Distraction” are a list of great resources. There are government resources, ADD support resources, and informational resources. You can also check out the Internet and that will give you some information. I just searched “ADD” & “adults” & “worklplace” & “accomodations.”
I am collecting all of the information that would be important for my principal to know about. Whatever info. I collect that is personal, I will give to her to include in a folder that is seperate from my personnel file. I can’t remember where I read this, but by law, they are not to include confidential information in your personnel file, and you have the right to request a seperate folder.
I am asking my psychiatrist to type up a letter detailing my diagnosis, so it is official and I can give a copy to my principal. I also feel that I am LD in math, so I want to take a test and have that paperwork also included.
I am also sending off for newsletters, to have in the teacher’s workroom for other staff members to read.
I am going to create a poster of famous, intelligent, successful people who are said to have ADD and LD to post in my classroom for my students and other staff to see. (Ex: Albert Einstein, Benjamin Franklin, Dustin Hoffman, etc.)
I am on medication, so I am better able to focus. Because of that I am revamping my entire paperwork situation. This is my weak area. I have 115 students, which ends of being 1,000’s of papers that I have to grade. It is overwhelming and an area of weakness with me that my principal is not happy with. The ADD and LD contribute because there is all the math in figuring out the scores. It slows me way down.
So, I came up with some possible solutions: (By the way, I am sorry this is so long, but it is so nice to talk to someone else who is a teacher who has ADD. I know you understand, and that is what I really need now and ideas how to cope. Helping you helps me.)
Since I am terrible at math, and my next door neighbor at school is a math teacher, I bartered with him. He is terrible at organization and I am almost anal at it. I guess that is where the hyperfocus stuff comes in. I think it is also a coping skill that I have had to develop. If my organization system is messed with, I go beserk. Change can sometimes be difficult for me.
So I told him if he would set up my gradebook on the computer with the grade scale and add up the scores for assignments I grade, I would help him organize his room. I told him I would only let him do it, when he gave me a list of things he needed help with. He gladly accepted!
I am also color coding everything in my room. Score grading sheets will be color coded for each genre that I have to teach and stapled to each assignment that I have to grade. This will help me organize the massive amounts of paperwork. The grading sheets have simple check off categories for the state standards, portfolio requirements, and the 6 traits. For an accomodation, I want to see if I can get my principal to get some of the colored paper the district office has in their printing office for me to use.If I can figure out how to send attachments, I will be happy to send you some of my teaching forms and ideas.
As far as noise, I have a sign on my desk with a green and red side. The students know that if the sign is on green, they may come to me and ask me a question. If the sign is on red, they are not to bother me, because I am doing an editing conference. If they ignore the sign and just stand there, I ignore them. Sounds mean, but it is about following directions, responsibility, and accountability. The students learn quickly.
I also have “Consultants” in my classroom. These are dependable students who know what is going on. Students are instructed that if they have a question, they first ask their teammates at their table, then if that did not work, they go to a consultant. If that did not work, and my sign is on red, they write their name on the board and I call them over.
At the beginning of the year, I plan to explain to my students that I have a hard time hearing and concentrating when there is a lot of background noise. I did that this year after I found out about the ADD and asked the students that if there is noise going on and they are reading, if they have trouble remembering what they read and then they have to reread. Almost all of them raise their hands. I don’t tell them I have ADD, but I do tell them I need quiet. I think most of them can understand that. Of course, not all activities can be quiet, which I accept.
If a students is being disruptive, I give them one warning, and then the second time they are disruptive they are sent to time-out in another room. They learn I mean business.
If you want a classroom with walls and a door, I don’t see why that can’t be a part of your accomodations. My therapist (who has a husband with ADD) says she would be willing to speak to my principal if she has any questions. Maybe you could find an advocate for yourself who knows about ADD. My therapist and I are going to sit down and make a guideline of what issues we can discuss and what we should not discuss.
Another solution I have about noise, which is a huge issue with me too, is that I find early in the morning is the best time for me to grade. There is no one at school, I know that meetings won’t be scheduled, so that it is something that I can count on everyday, without it being interrupted. I force myself to grade, even though I have a million other things to do. I also lock my door, turn off my lights, and put my phone on voice mail. I have even had it suggested to me that I use earplugs. I couldn’t do that with my students in the room, but maybe during parts of the day when I am alone, but I still can hear noise outside.
I have a great student now who helps me with all of the time-consuming paperwork stuff. Like date stamping when assignments were turned in, or stapling the scoring sheets to assignments, or organizing assigments into piles. She will be in 8th grade next year. As another accomodation, I am going to ask my principal if for her exploratory next year, she could be my aide.
I hope this is some help to you. Sorry it’s so long. Let’s stay in touch. Let me know if you would like for me to e-mail you some of my forms.
Liz

Dear New Jersey,

Your husband is me!!! I just talked with my doctor about these issues finally and to my surprise he didn’t laugh me out of the office. He tried to understand and help. I hope for all of you that your husband will see the need for help, if he doesn’t no one can help him. I had my own little outburst today. My Mother in law lost her husband Oct. 2001 and just sold her home. She signed a 30 day contract against my husband’s express recommendation and then both of them started pressuring me to let her move in here. Needless to say, that was an arguement waiting to happen. We all have our good days and bad, were human. I agree with all the other posts from AA and Georgia sooooo much. Thanks so much to all for being on here.

Hey Bonita,

I just had to write about the college thing. I always thought what is wrong with me that I keep dropping out, three times so far. I felt like such a looser and was so ashamed to tell family and friends. I KNOW things were being said too, no one really understands this ADHD thing. They think I am being hypervigilent about my daughter’s withdrawal, ADHD, possibly dyslexic, issues. They tell me to GO EASY on her, like I am doing something bad to her trying to discover the truth behind her problems. It goes back to ignorance every time. Of course, not long ago I was there too, so I try to be patient and explain as best I can without getting emotional, but well, you can imagine.

Still, thanks for saying you successfully homeschool. That encourages me that there is hope for me yet. I think as I am having marital issues, financial issues, etc., I may yet again give the college thing a try. This time I am going to get some help from my doctor though. Say some prayers for me. Thanks again for helping me know I am not the only one.

Dear Debra…
It took me from 1971 to 1980 to bet my BS degree and from 1980 to 1996 to get my M.Ed…. :)
Georgia

I just read all of your messages and was practically in tears with identification. I was a special education teacher for four and a half years and left because I couldn’t cope. Then I worked as a statistical clerk for 11 years which I hated. When I did clerical work, I had trouble with some of the tasks that the other clerks did easily. I then went to social work school. It wasn’t until after I had a major job problem that I got tested and began to receive some remedial help. Still, the ADHD diagnosis didn’t come until about 8 years ago. (I’m now 60.)
I had had my own office at work, but due to a problem at the facility where I was working, we had to move and all of us were in one room except when we saw clients. My paperwork, that had always been very difficult for me, got so far behind that I couldn’t catch up. I had major physical problems and finally left work. I was afraid that if the stress didn’t lessen that I’d have a heart attack or stroke. I was a mess psychologically too.
I haven’t worked in five years and am better, but I regret how much in life I’ve missed as a result of my problems and of not getting the help that I needed.
Long before I was diagnosed, I suspected learning disabilities.
I was started on ritalin, but never reached a therapeutic dose due to high blood pressure. Because of high blood pressure, I was advised not to take stimulants.
I have problems with organization, short term memory, social skills, planning, etcetra. I get overwhelmed easily. I can’t deal with too many stimuli ,
have trouble with transitions, have very poor imagery (sometimes get confused when I watch a movie with characters with similar appearance), can’t read when people are talking, etc., etc. I have trouble staying focused, tend to ramble, etc, etc.
Anyway, enough for now.

Today on “Good Morning America” Dr. Patricia Quinn was discussing the book on adult ADD that she has just published. It discusses many of the topics that have been discussed in this thread.

Having read all of the posts here I am surprised yet relieved to know that many women suffer from ADD as I do. Dr. Quinn mentioned that there is a hormonal correlation with ADD and women. When she mentioned that, I felt as if I had been struck by lightening. Here is why…

In the mid-seventies I was diagnosed as having hypothydroidism. The thyroid gland is involved with (basically) all of the other chemical reactions in your body, including your mentrual cycle, Well, my doctor did not convey the importance of staying on synthroid (thyroid hormone) for the rest of my life. After I finished the medication, I thought I was done. Fast forward to the mid-eighties…I began having abdominal pain…and extreme pain at work. I am a middle school teacher and at the time I was teaching physical education. Not only was I displaying symptoms of hypothyroidism, but my ADD was out of control. (I did not know I had ADD at the time, though.) As time went on I got another teaching job in another school district. Because I had to drive the school bus as part of my resonsibilities as a high school coach, I had to have a physical exam. Well, the doctor discovered that I had uterine fibroids. He suggested that I visit a gynecologist…which I put off for three years. I was terrified at the prospect of having surgery. The pain in my abdomen continued (it was the fibroids reminding me that they were still there.) Having fibroids causes your body chemistry to be out of balance. So….this morning…Dr. Quinn…PMS…..hormones…..ADD….The picture was becoming clear to me. But wait! The plot thickens!

Well, by 1990 I was having pain when I walked, and so much pain that I could not run. Not only that, but I sincerely thought I was losing my mind because my anger and impatience were out of control. And teaching middle school students exacerbates the problem!! I finally decided to see a gynecologist and in 1991 I had a hysterectomy. By the time I got to the hospital to register I was feeling so badly that I was ready to jump on the gurney and be whisked away to the operating room. I just wanted the pain to stop. When I woke up from th anesthesia it felt as if an elephant had been removed from my abdomen. I realized that my emotions were back under my control. What a relief! I felt great! During the three weeks (it was supposed to be six weeks, but I couldn’t sit still that long!) of recuperation I realized that being on a dose of estrogen every day was making a tremendous difference in my life. (But anxiety attacks and depression began here…)

But then the symptoms of hypothyroidism began to show themselves with a vengeance. I was losing my hair and gaining weight but when I began having trouble swallowing, I went to see a doctor. I described my symptoms to him and he would not send me for blood tests because I did not have hypothyroidism…according to him just looking at me. I insisted and so he sent me. My thyroid hormones were off the scale! I went to an endocrinologist and the first thing she said to me was “We have to do something about that hair!” Though that hurt me very much, I realized that it was true and that I would feel better once my thyroid was under control. It was three years before we got the thyroid under control.

(Reminder) According to Dr. Quinn hormones are directly related to symptoms of ADD. So as you can imagine I was one wacky female teacher!!

Well, as fate would have it, my gynecologist changed my estrogen medication and I took a nose dive into depression and anxiety. The emotional pain was pure, unadulterated and exquisite…It cut as sure and as deeply as a knife.

Eventually, I found my way to a psychiatrist who helped me with the depression and the anxiety. By 2000 all of these chemical problems (female hormones, thyrid hormones, brain chemicals) were under control. But, believe it or not, I felt that there was still something wrong. All of these problems were buildt on something…there was something that was at the foundation of all of my physical problems. I had no clue what it was.

Due to my health insurance, I had to see a different psychiatrist about my depression and anxiety. After about 10 minutes of visiting with him he began to ask me some questions. I said yes to most of them. In the back of my mind I was very impressed that he knew me so well since we had never met. Then came the clencher…..He asked me if I thought I might have ADD. I looked at him in disbelief. Teachers don’t have ADD…only students do….I tried to deny his diagnosis, but he asked me even more questions, and I had to answer yes…I will never forget the drive home….I felt salvation….I was not the lazy, uncaring person that people thought I was. After a few months on Adderall I realized that it was ADD that was at the core of my problems. It was intertwined in my physical and emotional conditions. Now I knew that I had to develop coping skills and I had to be aware of my behaviors. I am happy and I function well at school. But it was a long, hard journey…

Please be assured that you won’t be alone in the world with ADD.
Looking at the latest figures, there will be “thousands” of ADD children entering adulthood soon. What is on the bottom will soon “rule” the top :)

Hi Georgia,

I just read your letter Years of tears. And thanks for the advise you gave to the other guy about his school difficulties.
I have had some help from my union, but have not disclosed my ADHD/

I always read/heard that you have to be able to DO the job in the first place and THEN you get some accomodations.

I need extra time for breaks and lunch to cool off from the stress sometimes. How can that be an accomodation?

Mostly I need extra time and consideration when I am learning parts of my job for the firsts time.
WHen you work with kids at a school as a para (teachers aid) a lot of your training is on the job training. Sort of catch as catch can.If you make mistakes, they can fire you for ANY reason. You are on probation the first year.
At least that is in the contract with the Union.

I wonder if the Disabilities act can still help? I too feel almost raped, but that doesn’t quite discribe it. I failed basic math in high school four years out of four!

That tops your experience. Though I got an A in world history and B’s in some other sujects.

I am excited by your suggestions. There are a lot of us out there who need this kind of help.

Ann

Wow Bonita,

I heard about three years ago that these message boards where important because there are people talking about things that haven’t gotten into the books yet and YOU are an example of that. This is the best message board I have ever read. The others are so….well, not as helpfull.

I didn’t get 8 hours of testing. I got about 5 hours. Didnt talk about my left and right sides. Maybe I should have another person look at the results.

I have discalculia as well/ Pronounced dis calc u lia, emphasis on one of the sylables or the other. Dis calc’ ulia or discal culia’

I say it both ways in conversaton. Most people have never heard of it.
I tell people it is math dyslexia.

What a great group we have going here.
I wish we COULD as someone suggested, set up an organization to help each other. CHADD is good, but we really need Each Other. A network we have. Maybe LDOnlne would let us set up a job problem referal site or some sort.
That is a list of ideas about help and where to go. What to do and not do and amessage board dedicated to it.???

Ann

Hi,

I know that these messages posted last April, but I just found them last night.
Have you gotten out of that school? I can;t imagine how you and all the other teachers cope with school rooms like that. Whose idea was it anyway???

I would really like to know how you are doing now.
Thanks,
Ann G.

HI,

I can’t get enough of these letters. Suddenly I have people who know exactly what has been happening to me all my life. In school and out.
Thanks
Ann G.

HI ,

I thought if I posted my post woudl go to the person I was replying to. Seems they are all at the bottom of this list. Hmmmm…..maybe I wasn’t supposed to click in that little box on the right just below the posted message.
Oh well. I will try it again.
Ann G.

I agree with the need for our own organization…. we collectively have alot of wisdom, experience and passion.
Georgia

Of course yo have to be able to “do” the job…but think about the other handicaps as well… deaf and blind people need accomodations to do the job. So do we at times. I asked for friendly nagging on my job…. my biggest handicap is losing these or forgetting things….. Otherwise I do an excellent job… even above and beyond what is required or asked of me. initiative speaks volumes!! Ocaissionally I have to take a “time out” so that I don’t fall out of professional behavior. Luckily, I have a para-professional… and I come up with a reason to leave the classroom briefly. I’ll write more when I have time.
Georgia

I recently received several messages from this message board, although I had not written in quite awhile. I forgot how good it is to hear other people who have similar experiences. Does anyone else relate to difficulty remembering what things feel like until they’re again felt?

I was telling my therapist today that it’s like I’m a computer that can only have one screen at a time. I know that there are other screens and I can cognitively remember much of their content, but I don’t have the ability to move from screen to screen voluntarily. I think people who don’t have the problems that I have (and maybe people on this message board can relate) can move back and forth between screens and can deal with several screens simultaneously. They can thus remember their experiences more fully and can have screens that enable them to look into the future and plan and to remember the past. I know that one problem in ADHD has to do with not being able to use past experiences (mental imagery) to make decisions.

If I worry about my future, it’s as if the future has taken over the present. It’s not like I’m in the present screen looking at the screen of the future. Does this make any sense? Does anyone want further clarification? Let me try clarifying a little. The present screen and the future screen seem to merge because of my inability to hold two screens simultaneously.

Years ago, if I was asked what I had had for breakfast, I might not remember. I had very little ability to go back into situations in my mind. Now I can do that much better.

I think most people have inner worlds that represent both themselves and the outer world. I believe that my inner world is defective. It’s almost as if I’m legally blind and deaf in my inner world. I have some imagery, but can’t remember things like whether people wear glasses or sometimes whether they have beards. I see parts of faces and may remember some items of clothing that someone has worn (e.g., the color of a skirt), but can’t form a full picture. When I took piano lessons, I couldn’t remember the melody that I had been practicing, even though I might have practiced for a week. (If I heard it, I might realize that that was the melody, but I couldn’t hum it without an external cue.) I can’t even fully picture my parents or remember how their voices sounded. In fact, I don’t know that I can remember what anyone’s voice sounds like. Yet I have no trouble recognizing voices. I recognize people visually, but have trouble following movies when the characters have similar appearance. Does anyone else have these kinds of problems?

Also, I have a question about using this message board. How can I reply to messages that are sent by this message board to my email address without losing annonymity? I would like to stay annonymous on this message board so that I can fully discuss my experiences, but would also like to communicate with people who send me emails. How do the rest of you do this?

Last time when I posted a message, I didn’t respond because of this. I felt badly because I appreciated the responses that I got and would have liked to respond.

I hadn’t used message boards before. I didn’t realize that email addresses are available to anyone who reads messages. I thought communications were sent by the message board without those who responded having the email address. I’ve decided to just live with this, so I don’t need a response to my previous questions.

I posted some additional concerns re: mental imagery as a new topic on this board.