We just had the IEP meeting for my son Sam who is in second grade. He is LD in reading and writing. However, in the last year, he has made a years worth of progress. Now he is not quite a year behind in reading and a little bit over a year behind in writing.
I was a bit surprised that the meeting concentrated less on his his academic skills than his social ones. Sam has always been they type of guy who gets a lot of information though the senses of taste, touch and feel.
He is always hanging on people and invading their “personal space”, stepping on their feet etc. He loves rubbing my hair. He loves to eat and put things in his mouth. He has a sense of smell like a cocker spaniel.
Sam also has a “spacey effect”. He tends to be oblivious to a good degree with the world around him. When he steps on your toe, he won’t comment, like it doesn’t register. He tends to be rather abrupt in asking for things. Point out that he asked rudely and he will happily correct himself, but the next time the same thing.
I always though—this is Sam. I was just happy that he wasn’t plumenting anybody anymore.
How does one deal with this? Remind him, remind him, remind him? Doesn’t work. I am a bit spacey myself, but I model good manners.
Re: Stepping on toes
I too have a son who is dianosised with NLD or PDD and he shows a lot of the same charactoristic. I have the book tho “out of sync child” I think Its a really good book too. Go out an get it at the library or buy it. Even if you do not thinks its as good as Margaret and I think it is, it couldn’t hurt and its an inexpensive investment. But I really do think it will help you understand a lot.
Thanks,
Sara Battles
Re: Stepping on toes
Reminding him and modeling it, working to set the pattern, is what we do. That can all begin though with a good conversation around the need for changing our ways. Rather than instructions, sitting him down and telling him this is something you and his teachers discussed. That you appreciate this friendly quality in him but in our society we work to be aware of other people’s privacy and this is an area where he could be doing a better job. Try to get on the same page with him in an understanding that this is a goal you’re both working on for him.
If you taught him to drive and he drove too fast, wouldn’t you remind him over and over again not to do it? Even if it had little impact? Because you knew eventually this would get him into trouble.
That the meeting concentrated on his social skills suggests his academic issues are resolving and that’s the good news. The teachers are giving you a “heads-up” on his social skills. Your son is young but as he gets older, the social issues you’re describing can prevent him from being invited to birthday parties and sleep overs and the other events that are important to children’s lives. Try to keep reminding him now so that when the day comes, this dear child will have learned, no matter with how many reminders, to be more aware of the physical presence of others and to treat their “space” with that awareness.
Re: Stepping on toes
I agree this sounds like possible sensory integration issues, which can be remediated through work with an occupational therapist trained in SI issues. School won’t pay and your medical insurance won’t either, but work with an OT is really worth it! Carol Kranowitz, Out of Sync Child book, will have references to national OT orgs. where you can get referalls to local therapists. I can’t remember is our ld site here has an OT section. Good luck.
Re: Stepping on toes
Some medical will cover it if you can find a doctor who knows about it and knows the system. We got a referal for OT and it is also covered. So don’t count insurance out.
Re: Stepping on toes
Hi Susan,
I am actually adding to your questions. My son is 8 and improved alot this year but it seems anytime I ask a question of why can’t he spend some time in a “regular class” his accomplishments seem forgotten.
They seem to enjoy concentrating on what the kid is having difficulting in and not giving them a chance to move forward in areas of strength.
Susan, Many of the charastics in your description you are describing reminds me of my SID’s. SID in this case stands for Sensory Intergation Dysfunction. There is a great book to read called “Out of Sync” child. Charastics of children, and adults, who have this and some why to deal with this. Many doctors do not still understand it.
I have a daughter who is very tactile densefive, and has oral sensitivie. Through therapy this can be help and in some cases cured. There are sites with good information related to this. Check out www.sinetwork.org.
There is also a post on this site under Teaching Student with LD on this subject and it’s relationship to other LD’s (SID’s - LD).