[b]HELLO EVERYONE I'm NEW[/b]

I guess I would start by looking at his agenda when he comes home from school. I no longer have to generally sign my 11 year olds agenda book, except for spanish. He wasn’t doing his homework and as a result was flunking (fortunately it is a “special” which meets once a week and they only really get grades twice a year so he has time to bring up grade).

What I am saying is that there usually is a reason you have to sign the agenda book when they are 11. I think it is a sign that you need to provide the structure to make sure the work gets done and that they are not yet capable of managing the work load independently.

Personally, I think there is more than being difficult going on with a child who looks at the floor and says he didn’t want to study. Maybe he doesn’t understand it. If you know about the test before hand, you can help him study for it.

I will also tell you that it is not uncommon for parents of nonLD kids to monitor their kids agenda book and homework every day when they are in sixth grade. With an LD child, you can almost assume that you are going to have to keep track of what is due and what test is going to be when.

Beth

Serenity! It’s so unfair that your son ‘fell through the cracks’ in the system, but I’m glad you are on top of it now. This is a problem not just for LD kids — many of my former cub parents report this same thing for regular 6th graders, since the transition to middle school teaching and testing is a bit of a leap for many kids.

I echo Beth’s advice totally. I also wanted to add that sometimes the word ‘study’ means NOTHING to a kid! I sailed through school until about Gr. 10 when my lack of organization skills and study skills just about sunk me…no-one realized WHY I suddenly began to struggle, they just said ‘Elizabeth would do so much better if only she would apply herself’ and ‘Elizabeth must put an effort into her work’ etc. This only made me rebellious and unhappy — I was misunderstood, but felt guilty also, since I knew I was not perfect — but I had NO IDEA what to do!

When I went back to night school after a few years of work, I got a book with an early course called ‘Study Skills’ — this was a revelation to me! I thought ‘studying’ meant just re-reading — since I always knew it ‘cold’ when I had the notes in front of me, I would say ‘I know it’ and then when the test came, I’d blame myself for being stupid and ‘forgetting’. I have always been the ‘absentminded type’, so it SEEMED that was the root of the problem.

When I learned as an adult HOW to study, and especially how I must study, I began to do very well, and to ENJOY learning. One thing I learned is that re-reading is NOTenough for me. I MUST write the material out — so my studying is very hands-on, and consists of re-organizing and summarizing my notes. This REALLY makes a difference for me…part of the skill kids must develop is to learn HOW they study best — not everything works for every person.

Now, I am modelling study skills for my son. It is hard — he has 11YO attitude, and dislikes school, but he knows he must get C’s to keep his home privileges (unless I exempt him based on effort — I do make allowances for his academic problems, and if he has DONE the review work, and kept up his classwork, I don’t care if the tests don’t show it — Gr. 6 is not Gr. 11!) and he is learning that studying DOES make his life easier.

Best wishes, and welcome once again!

thank you both for your replies, thankyou Elizabeth for the WELCOME :)

Serenity,

I would just add, is your son on grade level in math? Or was this a math test from the LD teacher? Often kids try to avoid work they cannot do, and for good reason.

If it were me, I wouldn’t ground him. I’d just be sure I checked the agenda in the early evening in case there is something that needs to be competed or studied. I agree with the others that LD kids are often disorganized and sometimes forgetful, and they must be taught to have study skills. I have heard that Anita Archer’s study skills program from Curriculum Associates is good.

Janis

Hello Serenity. I know how frustrating it can be when you relaize your child hasn’t done their homework again. And I know the frustration that can make a parent snap at their child too. Until I got a total understanding of my three son’s disabilities I was really frustrated too. But then I started looking at it from their side (understanding is a wonderful thing indeed) and I have mellowed out a lot over the last couple of years.

I had to sign a ‘homework notebook’ every night when my 13yo was in public school. And I forgot sometimes until the next morning, but once I started checking it every day as soon as possible after school things got better for us. We also used a ‘communication notebook’ for his teachers and I to be able to give one another heads up on his behavior and moods (he is bipolar, ADHD, dyslexic, and dysgraphic). Once I got to checking and signing every night, there was also a change in the teachers because they realized we were on the same side, we all wanted him to learn.

If you want to talk, feel free to PM me or send and email. I also know what it is to need someone to talk to about things that has been there and understands.