breaking the news to 12 year old

Tell the truth in simple terms. Ask him for his input on things that help/don’t help. Collaborate to be sure he’s getting meaningful instruction and accommodations/ modifications that are suitable.

This should be helpful, not hurtful. This isn’t a new problem for him, but it is a new solution.

One parent I know explained that minds are like plane engines — and her kiddo has one that didn’t come with a manual. SInce it has different features than other planes, it’s likely to crash while the pilot’s figuring out how to fly it — but who knows what it can do?

It’s a label — not a diagnosis. He hasn’t changed — he’s the same bright charming kiddo that he has been all his life. The school needs to give these labels out so they can get people to the right plzces. (Now, what I don’t know is how good the school situation is so I don’t know how you need to spin that part!)

Do ;you know what services will be provided in the middle school? You might explain it in terms of the specifics, ie 2nd period study hall will be in Mrs. X’s room now, and not make a big deal of the special ed. label; in my son’s middle school that’s the kiss of death, because the resource room’s associated with slow functioning students or behavior problems and detention.

Special ed services for our newly diagnosed 12 year old were a dissaster. She hated going to the resource room as there were primarily autistic and downsyndrom kids there. She felt the resource staff and student peer tutors talked down to her. They were offering so little in the way of services that it really didn’t compensate for the negative feelings that she had about going there. We discountinued after a few months and had her tutored privately. This way we were able to pick the tutor and the program (lindamood lips) that we thought would be the most appropriate. This year she is above class average in all her subjects and her self esteme is improving. (Not bad for a kid that had tested 3 years behind in reading and writing.)