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Depressed too?

Submitted by an LD OnLine user on

Last year we had major problems with our childs parochial school. When I say major, I mean the school is making life difficult for us even though there is no reason other than the child has capd.

Our child went through tutoring this summer with his teacher who evidently told the principal (& anyone within earshot) how great she tutored my son given all his problems? A total stranger approached him on this and the principal told my husband she and the other teachers are well aware of what went on in tutoring. So much for private tutoring. He’s a C student & I paid for the tutoring. I wasnt impressed. My only goal on tutoring was to give him a leg up academically for a good start this year.

But I do feel her big mouthitis contributed to my childs withdrawal. I also feel betrayed. This person was in my employ for tutoring at next grade level & there were no issues she brought to our attention.

I notice since tutoring that my son is more quiet, wont talk to us, we have difficulty getting him to eat or even interact with anyone other than siblings.

The first week of school was rocky and today he was up at 6 am sitting there like a zombie didnt want to eat, didnt want to talk, didnt want to stay home & didnt want to go to school. He went to school but I’m expecting the phone to ring any minute.

The public schools here are not an option. I’ve talked to too many parents of ld children that are moving away. We looked at new homes last week in better school area and he didnt even want to go in although they were very nice & brand new. I sense that my son feels this move is his fault but its not. His parents should have moved already.

Next psychologist appt isnt until October & I think we need to address this now. I am very concerned about the pressures on my 12 year old from the school and the burden he is placing on himself.

Biggest concern is my child wants desperately to fit in a place where he may not be able to. Or where they dont want him. Or is it they’re treating him like a science project? Anyway, this school is not a good fit. It may be parochial but these people are not exhibiting Christian behaviors.

I completely understand how anyone could be depressed in this situation but I dont know how to effectively protect him without getting him out of this school, this area. I also dont want to risk making him more depressed.

I know this is a tough topic but has anyone here dealt with an ld child and symptoms of depression?

Submitted by Anonymous on Tue, 09/02/2003 - 2:45 PM

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I don’t have any easy answers but I wanted to encourage you to hang in there and get your child the help he needs. We placed our anxious child in psychotherapy for a year and it did help alot. Its not a miracle cure, and you still have to address the school environment. I don’t know if its possible for you, but perhaps you can look at a private LD school. I think middle school is tough for even the happiest children. Good luck!!

Submitted by Lori on Tue, 09/02/2003 - 3:51 PM

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I really feel for you and your child. If I was in your position, I think I would do all possible to get him an appointment with a psychologist ASAP….I mean right away. Are you already a client? I would think they would take you right away (even today after school) if you explain how severely his behavior has changed. He needs to see someone now, IMHO. Someone (other than his parents) who he can talk to and can communicate to him what he needs to hear. If this guy won’t see him, I’d find someone who can!

Best of luck to you.

Lori

Submitted by Anonymous on Wed, 09/03/2003 - 12:50 AM

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My child was diagnosed with depression at age 9-10 as a result of her struggles with school work. For her, therapy and medication together helped.
Your son is 12— this is a age when many boys are overwhelmed with hormones, understanding their sexuality and all the strange ways their bodies are changing, etc, and they do often withdraw—especially from moms. they wonder if they are “normal” but are way to embarrassed to talk about it with parents. On top of this he struggles in school. As others posted, he needs someone to help him through all this. I wasn’t sure if the teacher/tutor is the same teacher he has this year? Even if he can’ t change schools, counseling could help him learn to deal with the situation as well as his learning differences. Oh, and please learn from my experience— we thought we were buying a house in the “good” school district but it turned out to be quite bad for our daughter. It really comes down to the individual school and teachers to create a good fit for a kid with special needs.

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