Does my daugther have ADHD?

honestly, trust your instincts and consider finding another doctor who will listen to you. i would also see a specialist of some type as opposed to a pediatrician.

there is a difference between a ‘naughty’ child and one whose lack of self-control is dangerous. I agree, find another doctor who can hear you without dismissing you.

Our child are very high maintenance. You cannot ‘do’ for her unless you ‘do’ for you. We all have days when a bubble bath won’t bring us back but if you are having too many days of being ‘overwhelmed’ you need to let the doc know that too. Its tough to get help with our kids but ask if a relative can step up once in awhile to give you a break.

Welcome.

Thanks for the feedback.
It helps a lot just reading in here and seeing that I am not alone…

thanks

I wanted to mention another board that might be helpful also. Lots of parents there who have ‘high maintenance’ kids of many types. You could get some good advice re chasing down help from doctors, etc., how to get the best evaluation, etc. Go to www.conductdisorders.com

But don’t stop coming here — they often refer people to the LDOnline site for info re academic difficulties. And best wishes!

I raised a very, very active girl myself. People often do the sexist thing and refuse to admit that girls can be like this — believe me, several generations of my family can prove different.

My daughter never believed in sleep from earliest infancy. At a couple of *weeks* old she gave up sleeping in the day, period, and would only sleep at night when I was in bed and there was nothing to watch; six to eight hours tops. In the far north where I was (off the Alaska Highway) people wrap babies’ heads in blankets so their lungs won’t freeze outdoors; from birth she would not accept this, screamed and thrashed, so I finally after a few weeks figured out to diaper-pin a scarf across the hood of a snowsuit and let her be a baby-bandit with the eyes peeking out, and she was happy. She never had a bed, slept on a mattress on the floor until after she was three, because she kicked around so much she would have fallen and injured herself. She wore zip-up blanket sleepers until she was nine or ten for the same reason, couldn’t possibly keep a blanket on. In elementary school I had long since given up on trying to force her to sleep, a counterproductive effort if ever there was one, and she put herself to bed around 10PM and got up with her own alarm clock around 7AM.

So yes, there are many of us around here who have been there, done that!

Here’s some nitty-gritty practical advice:
Don’t try to force your daughter to be a quiet little sit-still mouse, and don’t let the schools try to force her either. She can’t be a different person that she is, and anyway why should she?
Find ways to use that energy in productive channels. At one point I had my daughter in three different sports activities plus school, as well as my own studies and tutoring, and it required a wipe-off marker board on the front door to figure out who was where at any time. Sure it takes effort — would you rather spend the effort as you are doing now, fighting and tantruming, or would you all be happier driving her around to sports where she can have fun and you can be proud?
Team sports also help with social development.
Housework can be reduced to the minimum for health; your daughter is your first priority and better to take her to soccer three times a week than to have beautiful kitchen floors.
Try letting her control her own sleep time as much as possible. She has to get up for school, so get her an electric alarm clock of her own. Set it as late as reasonable so she can get dressed and get out the door in good shape. If she eats a big breakfast, OK; if a slice of bread and peanut butter is enough for her first thing (my daughter could never eat a meal before 11) well, that’s plenty of nutrition and don’t worry. Try letting her go to bed when *she* feels tired. If she needs less sleep than most kids her age, staring at the ceiling is a good way to develop insomnia and frustration at any age, and a later bedtime can actually mean *more* sleep if you drop off better.
Encourage large-muscle activity like outdoor games or gymnastics or swimming; try to reduce screen time with computers or TV, which lead to mental fatigue but an excess of unused physical energy.
Get some information on truly effective ways to teach reading (not memorize-and-guess!) on this board, and then teach her how to read yourself. Then she can have a way to occupy herself when waiting or bored, instead of causing trouble. Once she knows how to read and can occupy her active mind with books, school can be a positive thing. Try if possible to find a school where kindergarten kids can play with the machines on the sand table (my daughter ran in early to hog it) and older kids at least run around the playground a few times a day, not a place where they try to get little girls to sit like statues.
You can get a very long way by redirecting energy this way. No, there will still be fights, often at a WW3 level, but try to reduce the frequency. As they say, pick your battles, and only fight over the things that are life-threatening.

Wow, such fantastic advice! You sound like a great mom!

To the original poster, I would add that these kids LOVE to do “real work”, so if housework is an issue, enlist their help. Boredom is the deadly enemy, and the advice of the above poster is fantastic for keeping boredom at bay. Also, it is important to reinforce a willingness to do “difficult things” in a positive way, rather than punishing noncompliance. I often made games out of the AM routine, betting that they couldn’t be done within a certain number of minutes, betting that I could get downstairs first, predicting that they would make me late so they could prove me wrong - anything to move away from the power struggle and make a game out of doing what is expected. Again, fun is the goal and boredom the enemy.

Sleep is the biggest challenge for us, too. Both our ADHD boys loved reading time, and I started making continued reading contingent upon laying still. I will stop reading without comment until the body is still, and then continue. Betting really helped here, too, as in betting that they couldn’t hold still more than a certain amount of time. It really taught my youngest that he CAN control his hyperactive movement if he is motivated to do so. I also have found a Stash herbal tea called “Sandman PM” which is very mild and appears to help Kevin get settled down for sleep with no apparent adverse effects in the AM. There are also homeopathic remedies that can be used. Nice thing about homeopathics is that they are in such small dosage that the risk of using them is very small.

Good luck!

[quote:d8ad4d9513=”Steve”]Wow, such fantastic advice! You sound like a great mom!

I also have found a Stash herbal tea called “Sandman PM” which is very mild and appears to help Kevin get settled down for sleep with no apparent adverse effects in the AM. [/quote]

Just a word of warning: this tea apparently contains St. John’s wort and Kava Kava. http://www.herbtrader.com/208499.html St. John’s wort may interact with some medications and may not be safe to use for some individuals, especially those with seizure disorders. Kava Kava is an herbal remedy that also has some potentially unsafe side effects. Please check with a doctor to be sure it is okay to use this tea for your child.

Wise advice!

HI THERE I JUST JOINED THIS WEBSITE AND I CAN TELL U MY SON AND I WENT THROUGH THE EXACT SAME THING AS U BUT I THINK U SHOULD FIRST SEE ANOTHER DR. LIKE THE OTHERS SUGGESTED BUT ALSO WHEN MY SON WAS IN KINDERGARTEN THE FIRST THING THEY DID WAS TEST HIM AND THEN IMMED. SUGGESTED MEDS. I GUESS THEY JUST DON’T REALY THINK ITS THAT IMPORTANT FOR U TO HAVE TO DEAL WITH HER ALONE BUT BELIEVE ME, ONCE THEY SCHOOL SYSTEM HAS IT ON THEIR HANDS THEY WON’T WANT TO DEAL WITH THE STRESS THAT COMES WITH OUR KIDS SO THEY WANT THEM FIXED AND FAST.[/url][/list][/list][/code][/i][/b]

THIS IS FOR THE WOMAN WITH THE 3 YR OLD WHO CAN’T GET DRS HELP[

quote=”chylo”]HI THERE I JUST JOINED THIS WEBSITE AND I CAN TELL U MY SON AND I WENT THROUGH THE EXACT SAME THING AS U BUT I THINK U SHOULD FIRST SEE ANOTHER DR. LIKE THE OTHERS SUGGESTED BUT ALSO WHEN MY SON WAS IN KINDERGARTEN THE FIRST THING THEY DID WAS TEST HIM AND THEN IMMED. SUGGESTED MEDS. I GUESS THEY JUST DON’T REALY THINK ITS THAT IMPORTANT FOR U TO HAVE TO DEAL WITH HER ALONE BUT BELIEVE ME, ONCE THEY SCHOOL SYSTEM HAS IT ON THEIR HANDS THEY WON’T WANT TO DEAL WITH THE STRESS THAT COMES WITH OUR KIDS SO THEY WANT THEM FIXED AND FAST[/img]

chylo — Nice to hear from you. Can you please unclick the caps lock? When you write in all caps, it is understood to be yelling. Thanks.

I have recently been quite shocked; I have a couple of new tutoring students in mid-Grade 2, where the schools have finally admitted that everything is not going as wonderfully as they claimed for the previous two years, and now they are pressuring the parents to medicate the kids. No proper evaluation, no testing, no attempts at re-teaching skills.

This is illegal and highly inappropriate. Parents should be prepared to fight this, and remember it is *illegal* for teachers to prescribe drugs — get a lawyer involved if you can.