Does you child have many friends

I hope you’ll get some ideas from parents. I wrote a post for “guest” with similar concerns for her daughter. Your son is younger, so do a lot of observing and talk to him about social situations as they come up. Coach him ahead of time about things he could say or do in social situations. Try small, but structured programs like scouts or martial arts. Sports are an option, too.

My daughter who does not have LDs had problems making many friends. This was first obvious in kindergarten. She knew it was a problem, because she has a very social (LD) older brother (and one time she asked me why he got invited places all the time, and she didn’t). What we did was talk about what makes people want to play with you. She tended to be a bit short and cold with people, didn’t remember names, and didn’t listen to what other kids were saying. To get her in situations where she had to practice social skills, we signed her up for girl scouts and sports. We role played with her dolls. She really did need to be taught how to be social. Now, she’s near the end of elementary school, and does have a few close friends. It would help if you observe your child, and see how he interacts with others. Watch carefully, subtle things like body language are important. You may be able to identify ways to help…thinking in terms of how you’d want to be treated. If he wants help, talk to him about what makes others want to be one’s friend.

Good luck!

KayR

My ADHD/LD son, age 9, is very social and outgoing. He has lots of friends. I don’t know if not having friends is related to being ADHD and/or LD.

In his old school there was a boy who none of the kids liked. He was not LD, but was unmedicated ADHD. There is another boy in my son’s class who is LD/ADHD (medicated) who none of the kids like, either. The common thing between these two boys is that they are so intense and have weird attention getting behavior, like jumping on the backs of unsuspecting kids. They are also aggressive with hair-trigger reactions, not flexible and can’t do the give and take thing. Both of them are also forbidden to play video games, unlike all the other boys, and don’t share that common experience and knowledge base. About 85% of my son’s conversations with other boys is about gaming. One mom of another boy (LD) who no one liked finally allowed her son to have video games and now the other boys are interacting with him bec he can contribute to the group.

I think some social skills can be taught and I think it helps to see what the other kids are doing, watch them interact, see what they are talking about and make your child more like them.

I did not find that sports or scouts did anything to facilitate friendships. It’s too structured to allow for kids to play on their own and interact with each other.

Would your son be a candidate for The Listening Program? I don’t know, but am just throwing it out there to see what others think.