Don't Forget!! Net-haven chat tonight..

hi socks,

I have a question that I know you can probably answer for me. Going over all of the stuff, I have the sense that the school is on to me (they know I’m becoming informed) and it seems that they are trying to build the case that I (mom) has stood in the way of my son’s progress. I’ll try to be brief.

Ever since all of this began and the pull out was happening, my son has been very resistant to it. The pull out (for past 3 years) has been sporadic, no systematic intervention happening and I believe that this is where the resistance set in. They would pull him out of computers, recess, science (to work on reading papers) etc.

The frustration escalated to where it all fell apart this year. I have been telling them, since the beginning, how he views pull out as punishment. I did this in hopes of them possibly creating a better plan of action. I thought I was being very clear about this. My concerns kept getting documented as parental concerns and them telling me that we cannot let him make decisions about this, “we are the adults here.”

Finally when he said he wanted to kill himself because of school, I went in there (called an IEP meeting) and said this is the last straw, we need to change things NOW! They told me they couldn’t help, we had to see the private psychologist. We have been ever since. He says too, his anxiety is due to improper education. I said that his emotional well-being takes priority over academic achievement. ( I think that was a big mistake, but we were running on desperation at that point)

At our annual review, I told them, we do not want to make any decisions until we get our neuropsych eval done. Well as you know, that turned out to be a bust with the PDD diagnosis that none of our professionals agree with.

Well, the sped director sent me a summary of events that basically says that my comments of not wanting him to be pulled out, for his 40 minutes A WEEK for resource, has caused his lack of progress.

As you know, we follow the inclusion model, so they had agreed to bring the assistance to him in the classroom. Well, when my son started being uncooperative with her assistance, she stopped helping him and documented this as him being “sensitive to her assistance, so she stopped pursuing him.”

Finally the point: Since we follow inclusion model, is it not their responsibility to bring the assistance to him to meet his IEP goals for the year, they even agreed to do this? Now, his report card says Cs, when I average everything I get Ds and Fs for classroom performance. District-wide achievement tests are atrocious (they wont consider those, we’ve been through that) So now I compared WISC-III and WIATs from 1999 to the recent ones done last month (2002) and he has regressed according to these scores.

I have no control over what happens during the school day, and to the best of my knowledge the IEP was still to be active even though they are stating that basically, I (bad mom), have stood in the way of his progression. Is the ridiculous or have I just totally blown everything by trying to be open, honest and an active participant in my son’s well-being. I think they are trying to say that mom is responsible for him not progressing, when it is actually a lack of systematic intervention for his problems and the fact that he truly does not belong in a general education classroom.

What direction can I go for help at this point, is legal counsel the next logical avenue or am I overreacting?

Your expertise is much anticipated and appreciated.

because our boys are the same age/grade and have some similarities. Mine differs in that he is visual.

I cannot understand how pulling him out at different times of the day could be acceptable. I do not blame you/him for being upset. But, you have apparently shown some discomfort over the situation and perhaps, as Dr. Phil would say, you have to own that.

They are being defensive and you dont need to feed or join in. Admit you had a problem with the pullout as it was done but would be supportive if it was provided at a regular time. Perhaps if it needs to be switched because of a school assembly, etc, you can write in he skip that day rather than have his routine altered.

My son was pulled at the same time daily except for 1/2 days, etc when everyones schedule was off!

when you criticize inclusion are you wanting pullout in a separate room(as opposed to in class) or total separation. I dont see that your son would warrant being in a fulltime resource situation-his scores are not THAT low(well, the ones Im familiar with :))

Id hesitate to put him in with kids performing at a much lower level than him.

And dont worry about becoming educated-yes, it will change the way the teachers treat you but, in the long run, it will probably be better treatment.

My sons 2nd grade teacher would not send him to resource-she felt he did not need it and would only oblige if he remembered on his own and asked to go at the appropriate time. I was relatively undeucated at the time-and wanted to be liked-so I went along. Stuff like that shouldnt happen and the more we educate ourselves the less it can happen

A lot of what teachers tell you is only because of money, they won’t provide fully what a child needs. Keep up with your own investigating and don’t stop until your child gets what he needs.

My teahers told my parents “She’s making wonderful progress”, which wasn’t the case. I went into the 6th on a second grade reading level and thats how I came out, even with inclusion and 90 minutes of resource reading class (using Wilson Reading program). My report card said A and B, except for a C in math. How does a 6th grader with a second grade reading level get an A in History class? They didn’t care, they just were passing me through.

My parents fought for two years too outplace me in an LD school. Within two years also using the wilson program again, but taught correctly I was reading above grade level. It always helped that had a reading tutor 3x a week. Point is if I had gotton the right help when I needed it I wouldn’t have had to go through all of this. After I was back in a regular school, but private thought. Mostly because with my severe CAPD (major audio overload) a small class make all the difference for me to learn, even after being all caught up. We still got the school system to pay for it because the public school doesn’t have small classes for bright LD students who are fuctioning at grade level. Like there are no small chemistry classes in public school and science was important to me.

Personally,I would turn around and send this director a summary of events your view. As what you explained to me seemed very clear to me. They possibly need to see your side of the fence.

Telling you they can’t help you is false. If his emotional state is such thn it is effecting educational progress and they certainly are obligated to provide. If they stated they were not going to help they should have given this answer in writing. How much of this is documented on or in writing or on tape??
I wish you had come on over to the chat.this way we can brain storm on what possible things you can do. Not just with me but ohers who have been there also:-) We are there Mon,wed,thurs and Sun. 9pEST it doesn’t matter what day or what topic,we do whatever needs to be talked about,basicly.

nfm