Do not let your kids become victims of the system, please.
This is a true story that unfortuanatly repeats itself over and over. I got a call from a mom asking for help. Her 13 year old son has been expelled and has to now attend court school. He threatened a teacher this after numerous behavior difficulties in school.
History, kid was identified with LD’s in 1st grade and sent to resource, midway through 2nd sent to special day class with kids with very severe disabilites including profound developmental delays and major brain injuries. Note in file from special day teacher says “this class is not the right class for xxxx he needs social peers his intellect…but certainly needs major educational support”. No change in placement, 3rd grade behaviors, 4th grade getting worse…now we have a kid who is getting very close to the prison system and why. Mom all along listened to the “experts” at the schools say what was best for this kid, and mom listened. Her son took the damage…along the way the boy has said (for last 3 years) if the teacher would just teach me I would’t be so bad. He can tell you the kind of medication his teacher is on, all about her boyfriend and all her troubles. This kid has been crying out for years and no one has been there for him. Now he is on the edge, he can’t read, looking at his testing through the years he has baciscally STOPPED improving since 3rd grade. Now what, we have a kid who can’t read or write, is very angry and frustrated has been yelling out (clearly all these behaviors) and everyone just shoved him through the system, no respect, no interest….and you know what, you know who ultimately pays the price, our society! Just look at our juvinile justice system, unemployment lines and don’t forget the morgue.
Sorry, but I am frustrated. We all owe this boy something but who is there to help and please remember there are many more behind him following, STOP the cycle, advocate, fight, scream, yell and remember protect your babies and if you can help someone elses.
Leah
the other one
Thanks, Leah
As a parent advocate, stories like this would make me so furious but so profoundly sad. Our prisons are full of these kids. It is the reason I went back to school to get my teaching certificate. Maybe I’ll make a difference for a few of these.
Still brings me to tears, though. Some families just don’t have the money to fight the system. Some families cannot hardly feed themselves or find a place to sleep at night. Some kids fall through the cracks that way, too.
Re: Don't let your kids become victims
This is very sad, but from talking to other parents “misplaced” children is sortof common.
I think part of the problem is that parents wrongly assume that schools have all children’s best interests at heart all the time. They don’t understand that there are other motives behind why a school does what it does. It could be lack of money or personnel or programs in the district or in a particular school or at a particular grade level. The school can be saying “No” and the district “Yes” or vice versa for a million reasons that has nothing to do with an individual child.
It’s like when a school tells a disruptive child’s parents that their 6th grade is full and the child will have to go to another school this year. That school wants to get rid of this trouble maker. The old school tells the new school they ran out of room. The new school quickly figures out the kid is a behavior problem. Then the old school sends a bus load of overflow kids to the new school. The new school figures out the old school is picking and choosing who will be in their 6th grade this year. Maybe the old school’s test scores will improve if they do that? That’s what the old school is hoping.
Or a bipolar child is in need of emotional supports but the school has a big ESL population. Where will the bipolar child end up? In the only non-regular ed class there is - ESL. I’ve seen this happen to two children at two different schools in two different school districts.
Parents need to be educated, but not by the schools. The children need to be evaluated, but not by the schools. Parents must be advocates or retain an advocate.
Re: Don't let your kids become victims
Something that a friend of an LD child and I are thinking about is becoming involved in is as ESE chair for the PTA.
I just quit my job as a legal assistant and am really wanting to spend some time volunteering and helping the ESE students in my local elementary school.
We are looking into attending ESE meetings with newly classified parents/children and providing the “What Every Parent Should Know” booklet about what is available to ESE in the State of Florida. This is a book that is provided free of charge from the FDOE.
Unfortunately, it appears that the schools DO NOT want the parents to get this information and all they have on the coffee tables in the waiting room are Huntington and Sylvan tutoring services brochures. I want copies of the FDOE booklets on those coffee tables!
It really angers me that the schools are involved in what I consider a “conspiracy” (IS that really too strong a word?) to keep hidden from parents what rights their LD students have.
I have had to fight, write, and do all my own research to find out what the FDOE and IDEA/504 provides to special need students and to get the services to which my daughter is entitled. We even have an local organization that is supposed to be “educating” parents (they are getting $$$ from the government to do this) and those same brochures I mentioned above are sitting in cases in the hallway of their office. (They don’t like it when my friend and I come to “visit”).
We are considering calling the FDOE and requesting about 300 of the booklets in order to begin our advocacy work. Interestingly enough, when we offered to “volunteer” at the above agency (which shall remain unnamed), they told us they don’t need any help, but when I asked WHY someone from their organization wasn’t at every IEP meeting, they said they were unable to service all the students with needs! Sounds a little “fishy” to me.
Anyone done anything of this sort? We also have considered putting an ad in the newspaper to advertise for newly classified ESE parents. The school does not seem to want parents to know all that is available.
I’ll climb down off my soapbox now.
Re: Don't let your kids become victims
I completely agree with the comments everyone else has made about “trusting” the “experts”. I’ve lived through 8 years of very stressful, very agonizing, yet very rewarding years helping my son deal with Asperger’s Syndrome. When we look back at the mistakes we made, they all came down to times when we didn’t do our own homework, didn’t adequately scrutinize the source of the advice, etc. Don’t just put your child in the hands of ANY “professional”. Do your homework first, get books, read up, don’t let yourself be intimidated by BS artists.
After resting on our laurels and successes for a couple of years, we found ourselves under siege when our son entered 8th grade. He was being humiliated socially and academically and he as much as said so. As a result, we went back to the library, back to the Internet, etc. and eventually stumbled into an understanding that attention controls and issues of executive function were at the heart of our son’s problems, and really at the heart of most learning disabilities. When we went back to the “experts” in and out of the schools and asked what they could do for the specific problems we had identified, their eyes glazed over! They hadn’t done their homework, and hadn’t kept up with current research. We were horrified at some of the answers we got.
We’ve seen the best and the worst in educators, psychologists, psychiatrists, etc. and we can’t say strongly enough: DO YOUR OWN HOMEWORK, BE A SMART CONSUMER, ACT ON FACTS WHILE YOU FOLLOW YOUR HEART!
Leah,
Absolutely, don’t let your kids sent to an educational wasteland. Schools must be held accountable. If your child is sending you signals that all is not right, ACT!