Drained - Digging down deep

http://www.chadd.org/findchap2.cfm?cat_id=7&subcat_id=36&state=fl

That page above will list all the chapters in Florida for CHADD - an organization that you might find helpful to you and your son. I hope one is near to you. Also check your local papers. Sometimes informal support groups for ADD/ADHD parents meet at local YMCAs or churches.

I can understand why your young son doesn’t see the ‘positives’. School is such a big part of a child’s life and when school isn’t going well, nothing seems positive. Rather than getting him to focus on the positives, I’d focus effort on reducing the negatives. An IEP would be a good start. Continuing to work with his medications is also a good idea. Evening meltdowns are not uncommon for children on ADHD medication and I’d be sure his doctor knows about the evening meltdowns. Adjustments can be made in the medication so that the meltdowns are much less extreme.

And with an IEP some adjustments can be made in school for him. While ADD can be a sufficient reason to explain his troubles in school, at a certain point everyone, including you and your son, will be tired of the explanation and want some solution.

If I had to choose one thing above all others to work on with him, I’d choose the defiance to authority. Nothing presses the buttons of teachers and principals more than that. I taught my own son to agree with things he didn’t agree with as there’s really no fighting City Hall, as they say. Being defiant to authority will only increase the problems.

Your son is fortunate to have a mother who has a successful job and supports the family still while being a very caring and involved parent. Good luck to both of you.

That is what I have heard so I am reluctant to take their advice.

Don’t give up hope ! Tell your son he should try to turn this ADHD into a plus… Find some kids like him and serve as each other’s support system. This is a phase to go into but it will soon pass.

Linda,

I don’t know for sure where all of their funding comes from, but this is information from the CHADD website about what they are and what they do.

Welcome to CHADD - CHADD Fact Sheet #8

Children and Adults with Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder (CHADD) is a national non-profit organization founded in 1987 in response to the frustration and sense of isolation experienced by parents and their children with AD/HD. At that time, there were very few places individuals could turn to for support or information. Many people seriously misunderstood AD/HD. Many clinicians and educators knew little about the disability, and individuals with AD/HD were often mistakenly labeled “a behavior problem,” “unmotivated,” or “not intelligent enough.”

Individuals and families dealing with AD/HD turn to CHADD, the national organization representing individuals with AD/HD, for education, advocacy and support. AD/HD is medically and legally recognized as a treatable yet potentially serious disorder, affecting up to three to five percent of all children and approximately two to four percent of adults. Today, children with AD/HD may be eligible for special education services or accommodations within the regular classroom when needed, and adults with AD/HD may be eligible for accommodations in the workplace under the Americans with Disabilities Act.

CHADD is a success story inspired by the desire of countless parents to see their children with AD/HD succeed. From one parent support group in Florida, the organization has grown dramatically to become the leading non-profit national organization for children and adults with AD/HD. Today, the organization has a small national staff, which manages the day-to-day responsibilities, while its Board of Directors sets policy and oversees the organization’s well-being. The organization is composed of dedicated volunteers from around the country who play an integral part in the association’s success by providing support, education and encouragement to parents, educators and professionals on a grassroots level through CHADD chapters. Despite the association’s growth in membership and reputation, CHADD has not lost the passion and commitment from its founders.

CHADD at Work

CHADD has six primary objectives:

To maintain a support network for parents and caregivers who have children with AD/HD and for adults with AD/HD;
To provide a forum for continuing education on AD/HD for parents, professionals and adults;
To be a community resource and disseminate evidence-based information about AD/HD to parents, educators, professionals and the media;
To promote ongoing research;
To make the best educational experiences available to children with AD/HD so that their specific difficulties will be recognized and appropriately managed within educational settings; and
To promote and influence legislative activities at the national, state and local levels.
In order to execute CHADD’s primary objectives, the CHADD Board of Directors puts into place an annual strategic plan. This plan identifies strategic objectives that are measurable and provide action to support and promote CHADD’s mission and principles.

In 1993, CHADD officially changed the name of the organization from Children with Attention Deficit Disorders to Children and Adults with Attention Deficit Disorders. This change reflected the growing recognition that many children with AD/HD become adults with AD/HD, and that CHADD’s services and programs are increasingly important to adults as well. Presently, experts estimate that up to as many as 67 percent of children with AD/HD still manifest symptoms in adulthood.1 In 1998, in an effort to keep current with medically accepted terminology, CHADD again changed its name to Children and Adults with Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder.

CHADD is at the forefront of publishing and disseminating the most current scientifically-based and authoritative information about AD/HD to members and professionals in the areas of medicine, psychology, education, law and other professions. The members of CHADD’s Professional Advisory Board are experts in these and related fields. They play an integral part in keeping the organization abreast of the latest developments regarding all aspects of AD/HD, including research into cause and treatment, behavior management, employment, insurance, co-existing conditions and other issues surrounding AD/HD.

CHADD publishes a variety of printed materials to keep members and professionals current on research advances, medications and treatments affecting individuals with AD/HD. Attention!® magazine is published bi-monthly, and provides cutting-edge information on AD/HD and how it affects individuals from childhood through adulthood. Inside CHADD is a newsletter focusing on programs and services that make CHADD work on the grassroots level - it is written for CHADD members and by CHADD members. Other publications include the CHADD Educators Manual, a book offering teachers an in-depth examination of AD/HD in the classroom and concrete suggestions for effectively teaching a child with AD/HD. It is one of the most widely read publications about AD/HD and education. In 1996, CHADD published AD/HD and Adolescence, a collection of the most authoritative articles on the subject. In 1997, in response to increased demand for more information about adults with AD/HD, CHADD published AD/HD and Adults: Strategies for Success.

CHADD’s award-winning web site, located at www.chadd.org, offers visitors the most current information on AD/HD. It provides the latest information on research data, as well as links to numerous institutions where scientifically-based studies are currently underway. The members only site allows the membership to access past articles from CHADD publications, participate in monthly chats with an expert in the field, access transcripts from previous chats and chat rooms. In addition, CHADD’s renown web site provides technical assistance to our volunteer leaders in the field.

CHADD also sponsors the world’s preeminent conference on AD/HD. Held annually, the conference brings together thousands of parents, scientists, health care professionals, educators and other experts whose work involves individuals with AD/HD.

CHADD’s Public Policy Initiatives

CHADD’s local chapters sponsor parent and adult support groups, convene educational meetings featuring expert speakers, and work with local school systems to educate teachers about the disorder and accommodations for children with AD/HD.

In 1991, CHADD was instrumental in advocating for the U.S. Department of Education to recognize children with AD/HD as eligible for special education and related services.

As a result, the Department issued a “Policy Clarification Memorandum” on September 16, 1991. This memorandum, which carries the force of law, clarified that children with AD/HD may qualify for special education and related services solely on the basis of their AD/HD when it impairs educational performance or learning. The memorandum recognized children with AD/HD as eligible under both the Individuals with Disabilities Education Act (IDEA) and Section 504 of the Rehabilitation Act of 1973. CHADD went on to make significant contributions to the 1997 reauthorization of IDEA, and on March 11, 1999, AD/HD was formally listed in the IDEA Regulations under the category “Other Health Impairment.” Throughout the process, CHADD was consistently the most well represented group at IDEA Regulations hearings held across the country.

Grassroots advocacy also plays an important role in CHADD’s efforts to protect the rights of individuals with AD/HD. The CHADD Volunteer Action Network (VAN), initiated at CHADD’s 1999 Conference, links volunteers across the country to their elected officials. VAN members contact officials on specific legislation, inform the National office of proposed actions by state legislators, and enable CHADD’s advocacy efforts to have national stature.

To further aid legislative efforts, CHADD has added an exciting new feature to the web site: the Legislative Action Center. This feature enables visitors to access current information from Congress and to contact their elected officials about issues identified by CHADD. Status is updated automatically, and sample e-mail messages can be prepared and linked to specific legislative proposals.

CHADD’s message continues to be one of education and advocacy for all individuals with AD/HD. The challenges are clear and the course has been set, but as our mission statement reflects, CHADD will continue working to improve the lives of people affected by AD/HD through: collective leadership, advocacy, research, education and support.

Andrea

I bet things will get worse before they get better-that just seems to be the way these things work He has a right to be pissed at you for changing-how would you like to go to work monday and find theyd changed all the rules on clocking in, work hours, lunch breaks, etc. Yes, youd comply but, by golly, youd be upset. He’ll get over it and learn from it-you have made the right decision(its just not an easy one)

I just started teaching a head start class. They are out of control and have been through several teachers(its a bad mix-the other classes are reasonable). Its been very stressful-I ve been in the bathroom at work crying and think about quitting daily-and its only been 2 weeks!

Being consistent is exhausting. I know it is what they need and what they lack but its draining. I have 4 who destroy everything they can reach when angry, hurt the other children, throw furniture, clear the shelving-I have two facial bruises from them. Their outbursts can last 20-25 minutes on occassion. Its so tempting to give in and keep the peace. At least, I get to go home after 8 hours!

hang in there and be confident you are doing the right thing. All meds take some time to adjust to-dont get bent out of shape on side effects until you see them for more than 2-3 weeks(obviously Im not talking medical, fast heartbeat things here)

Expect problems-its a process. There arent any miracles available, gosh dang it! See the little bits of progress and revel in them. My head start kiddos are now crying,stamping their feet and pitching ‘normal fits’when angry 60% of the time. Thursday and Friday we had 2/4 not meltdown at all!!!!

But 4-5 days into this 10 day process(so far), well, thats when the bruises and bathroom tears happened

I’m not sure who funds CHADD. What advice have they given you?

I thought more that through CHADD this mother could access a weekly support group. Support groups should do more listening than advice giving and it can be very helpful to speak to what’s troubling us and have others give us a listening ear.

If you read the post about what they are truely about you will see their main focus is education.
I am not against meds for kids who need it. I do have a problem with an organization that does not support other types of therapies because of where they get there funding.
I think that education on a subject like this should be unbiased. It is difficult to be unbiased when your goals are set by your those who provide your funding.

They seem to be a well funded operation.

CHADD is a non-profit organization. From what I have seen of them, they are unbiased (I think alternative therapies were discussed in one of their recent magazine issues). Nor are they swimming in cash either.

They were just awarded a huge grant from the CDC. They *may* recieve some sort of funding by the drug co.’s (yes at conferences, on-going funding I’m not sure), but it is an organization led pretty much by parents of ADHD’ers who have done the long journey of raising successful and happy ADHD’ers - that is who I want to get my info from. There are also a lot of highly regarded ADHD experts aligned with CHADD - so I have a comfort level with them. Nothing they’ve offfered in their seminars, literature or magazine contradicts my independant research - in fact, it supports it.

It’s kinda of a don’t shoot the messenger analogy - they have to report what works/what doesn’t. Parents are the ones who have to sort through the scientific literature, talk to their doctors and make the decisions for their kids.

For my family, CHADD has been a great resource in so many areas (e.g., special ed and discipline “challenges”) particularly during dd’s really bad years when we were slowly but surely sorting things out. It’s a great support system too.

Read “Healing ADD” by Daniel G. Amen, MD. Lots of great information. You can get it from your local library. Good luck!

CHADD funded by pharmaceutical companies! That is an understatement!!!

I am truly sorry, I know the original poster is looking for help from others, but I read Dr. Amens books. 1st of all for him to title a book. “Curing 6 types of ADD” is a misconception to start with. I read thru the entire thing hoping to find his so called cure. Not one. He also describes, giving his patients, young children meds after meds and combo meds and just keep changing doses and increasing doses and playing around with the drug treatment on the kids he sees. This is where lab rat technics come from. However, he can not tell how to cure ADD. So he should not title his book with that statement. His book, training the brain, more contradictions. Especially his theories about how the brain needs stimulation but we should suppress it by medication. Anyone one who would like these books, I will send them to you free. They are not worth the money I spent for them.

I totally disagree in drugging your children to support the Drug Companies in America.

Not only do they drug our children but adults too.

The principal at my son’s school is in agreement with me. He believes that there are other alternatives besides drugs.

My son has gone through 2 other schools and the other 2 schools are both supported by the Drug Companies. I had complete pressure to have my son on drugs. Schools recieve money from the Drug Companies to promote them.

The principal also informed me that in latest studies of Ritalin that when children come off of the drug they experience tics (I believe this is probably when they are on it for a long period of time). I don’t think that there is enough study of this drug and they are using our kids as guinea pigs.

Check out the site gary.null.com under world issues.

I fought with the previous 2 schools that my son was in. I was even threatened if I don’t put my son on drugs.

I am very happy to find this Principal of this school who is in agreement with me. He apparently was a principal of a school with 14 special classes in it with all kinds of problems so he is very well experiences in these issue. Don’t let society pressure you into thinking that drugs are the only way.

I totally disagree in drugging your children to support the Drug Companies in America.

Not only do they drug our children but adults too.

The principal at my son’s school is in agreement with me. He believes that there are other alternatives besides drugs.

My son has gone through 2 other schools and the other 2 schools are both supported by the Drug Companies. I had complete pressure to have my son on drugs. Schools recieve money from the Drug Companies to promote them.

The principal also informed me that in latest studies of Ritalin that when children come off of the drug they experience tics (I believe this is probably when they are on it for a long period of time). I don’t think that there is enough study of this drug and they are using our kids as guinea pigs.

Check out the site gary.null.com under world issues.

I fought with the previous 2 schools that my son was in. I was even threatened if I don’t put my son on drugs.

I am very happy to find this Principal of this school who is in agreement with me. He apparently was a principal of a school with 14 special classes in it with all kinds of problems so he is very well experiences in these issue. Don’t let society pressure you into thinking that drugs are the only way.

I totally disagree in drugging your children to support the Drug Companies in America.

Not only do they drug our children but adults too.

The principal at my son’s school is in agreement with me. He believes that there are other alternatives besides drugs.

My son has gone through 2 other schools and the other 2 schools are both supported by the Drug Companies. I had complete pressure to have my son on drugs. Schools recieve money from the Drug Companies to promote them.

The principal also informed me that in latest studies of Ritalin that when children come off of the drug they experience tics (I believe this is probably when they are on it for a long period of time). I don’t think that there is enough study of this drug and they are using our kids as guinea pigs.

Check out the site gary.null.com under world issues.

I fought with the previous 2 schools that my son was in. I was even threatened if I don’t put my son on drugs.

I am very happy to find this Principal of this school who is in agreement with me. He apparently was a principal of a school with 14 special classes in it with all kinds of problems so he is very well experiences in these issue. Don’t let society pressure you into thinking that drugs are the only way.

Christine wrote:
>
> I think I just need someone to talk to, someone who knows
> exactly what I’m talking about and understands without having
> to be convinced of the validity of the disorder. My ten year
> old son is ADHD, and consequently, has behavioral problems.
> It’s been a long, trying journey. It’s only been very
> recently that I’ve COMPLETELY accepted the facts. I think I
> had hoped that it would just go away. First suggestion of
> ADHD in second grade. Ignored it. Third grade - horrible
> (very difficult teacher). Began to read & research it.
> Many, many hangups about medicating him. First med was
> Concerta. He didn’t eat and he didn’t sleep, broke my heart
> to see him lethargic. Took him off of it, thought all was
> well until his teacher advised otherwise. Blessedly THAT
> school year ended and we moved this summer to Florida. Fresh
> start for Collin. Fifth grade, same pattern of behavior &
> quality of work poor. Time to accept facts. I’ve also
> learned without a doubt that I am ADD. Single mom for seven
> years. I’ve made terrible mistakes with inconsistency,
> which I see was the worse thing I could do for him. He has
> two older brothers, 16 & 15. Alot of inappropriate
> influences. No learning disorder thank God, and all are
> above average in intelligence. Currently trying to pound it
> into older brothers heads that they must be careful of what
> they do & say, especially their brand of humor. Collin
> absorbs it all & cannot discern what is appropriate & what is
> not. This has been problem in past, especially in getting
> them to approach situation with more maturity than they seem
> to be capable of.
>
> Can’t remember altogether how many times he’s been suspended
> from school and bus. Five? Suspended twice this school year
> (it’s only October). His anger is quick and explosive and
> over the top for very minor things. Self esteem, in the
> toilet. Blames himself. Past problems with lying and
> stealing. Becoming more defiant to authority. However, also
> genuinely remorseful. Kind to elderly & very young, loving
> to animals.
>
> Encounter strong negative resistance from his father. ADHD a
> bunch of b.s. to him. Cannot talk to him about it (or
> anything for that matter). Can only thank God that I have
> sole custody, as he would ultimately do more damage by his
> refusal to see & accept. Ex is very controlling and
> dominating. Boys and I have unspoken rule that we do not
> speak about it to him. Ultimately he would find way to blame
> me, as is his pattern. He’s suddenly decided to pull his
> head out of his ass and wants to move here as well to be
> closer to our boys, after few years of distancing himself.
> Should be happy for boys but concerned about his influence.
> Tired of cleaning up his messes & undoing the damage. In
> fact, tired period, fighting hard to stay consistent and
> approach situations calmly, when all I really want to do is
> cry.
>
> Have son on Adderall RX 20 mgs for past month. At first,
> immediate improvement, though it seems to have leveled off &
> teacher feedback says he’s practically reverted to old
> behaviors. Doctor & I tweaking with the dosage. Have given
> him an additional 10 mgs. as well as the RX 20, but it seemed
> to be too much. Incident at school yesterday with other
> child, Collin unfairly blamed, (tagged a trouble maker I
> suspect), immediate reaction was tearful frustation and
> anger, became defiant with adults who responded. Desperate
> call to doctor, and now an additional prescription of
> clonedine - started today. Last two evenings very irritable,
> more tearful frustation, very hard to get through to, very
> negative - refusal to see positives. Defiant and then more
> tears. Hard time accepting Mom’s new attitude of
> consistency. Inabililty to maintain thought process,
> switching gears with lightening speed. Despite my attempts
> to keep situation under control with patience, went to bed
> tearful and angry. Tore bedding off. More problems with
> self worth. Finally, and God forgive me, blessedly cried
> himself to sleep. Adderall to blame for evening meltdowns??
> Same meds - different dosage a help? Forgot second dose of
> clonedine, direct result of my own ADD. Which leads me to
> another problem - both of us unorganized and forgetful,
> though I have learned to compensate for it through the
> years. I know he will benefit (me too) from charts to assist
> with time management - but I don’t know where to start.
> Obviously not my forte. (though I’m a legal secretary - go
> figure… actually, I have to force myself to be detail
> oriented at work).
>
> First meeting of school support team for Collin on Monday.
> Belive an IEP is needed. Was actually against it two years
> ago in NC. Mistaken impression that son would be ‘tagged’.
> Any advice/clarification of IDEA section 504 & IEP’s? Advice
> for approach to meeting?
>
> Will never give up on my son, I’m his biggest champion.
> Tired of trying to explain ADHD as underlying reason for most
> of Collin’s behavior - most think it’s offered as an excuse.
> Unable to find support group in my locale of St. Lucie
> County, feel like I’m ready to just break down from all of
> this, coupled with the usual teenage antics from the other two.
>
> Any advice welcome at this point. Exhusted now, going to bed.
> Chris ~ FL