My son is 3.5 years. He was born at 25 weeks gestation and is the larger of twins. He has alot sensory problems. Sound and touch being his most challenging. He also has other issues that concern me. He obsesses about things eg. if he wants to do something he MUST do it or a major outburst as if someone has seriously injured him or something. He is quite clumbsy mostly because he lacks any motor planning abilities when he has an idea in mind DOES NOT listen (I mean will not even acknowledge that you have said anything at all) when he is told to not do something. He is my third child and I have attempted MANY forms of discipline for him but failed. My husband and I are trying very very hard to help him to have a normal relaxed environment, but he is so highly strung and single minded. To be honest I have not had any diagnosis’ as yet but I am hoping for one so I will know what I am dealing with. Your thoughts will be very much appreciated. Does anyone have any ideas as to what my son is trying to deal with.
Regards. Anita
“He has alot sensory problems. Sound and touch being his most challenging”
“To be honest I have not had any diagnosis’ as yet”
It’s hard to tell how informed you are about the sensory issues, you also talked about poor motor planning, so it seems you know something about it. Does he get therapy for these, and you just don’t have a dx for the behavior stuff? Or you have absolutley no dx yet?
My son has sensory integration dysfunction, motor planning problems, severe S&L disorder, and cognitive delay. He’s also ADD. And when he was 1 1/2 - 3 1/2 I was going crazy with him. Like your son, mine didn’t mind well at all, threw major temper tantrums, knocked chairs down and yelled at the top of his lungs, slammed doors, etc. It was a nightmare.
But in the past 8 months, since he began sensory therapy twice a week, I am pleased to say that I see a real peace growing inside him. He is more patient, less demanding, and alot more cooperative, not to mention more coordinated. It’s amazing. My hat goes off to his therapists. They helped me to understand him alot better too, so I could help him at home. I now have a cacoon swing, a bean pool, and other interesting kinethetic and tactile elements for him to explore.
If you do suspect your son is having sensory issues, you may want to try a local private a nuerodevelopmentalist. An occupational therapist can determine if your son has sensory deficits and the specific terapies that he needs. I say this because the school district does little if any sensory dx, and even the big professional hospital evals with the neuropsychologists don’t usually horn in on the sensory issues, they may see it as ADHD or something. From the outside in. Personally, I think just about every kid who’s ADHD has some sort of sensory dysfunction, and these kids frequently have behavior issues. Some more severe than others. Hence the ODD comorbid label.
If you already know about that and are getting him therapy, sorry to have misunderstood. But then my advise would be to hang in there and let the therapy do it’s wonders.
I’m not big on the ODD dx for my son because I see it as a coping mechanism from the speech disorder. It’s also like my son is delayed cognitively, and with all these other delays, he is like a big baby. If you look at your son, does he strike you as a 2 year old? Or less? 18 mnth? Having never met your son, I may be way off, but 25 weeks gestation is very premature and may have had some seriously lingering (but temporary) effects on his development. So when you look at his behavior, of say tuning you right out, or pitching a screaming fit, is it typical of what a toddler might be doing when they don’t get their way? Maybe a little worse due to a possible sensory precessing problem that he can’t describe, or know is different for him than everyone else?
As hard as it was, I have had to take a real look at that with my son, and deal with him on that level. What it meant was a hell of alot more work than I was prepared to bargain for. hahah! just kiddin’ But it’s hard because it’s like you have to stay in that early toddler teach everything for too long mode of parenting. And your biological parenting clock is ready to move on to the next phase. It’s long gruelling work but you gotta take the bull by the horns. And I’m a single parent - yes- God bless my soul!
The book 123 Magic by Thomas Phelan came in handy. Consistency is key, as long as it’s developmentally appropriate for the child. What is appropriate for my delayed 6 year old is not suitable for my maturing 10 yr.old
Good luck, let us know what you find out. In the meantime don’t get discouraged. This too shall pass.