getting accommodations in school

I kept a diary of exactly what was coming home, how much time we were spending on it, how each homework session went (tears, temper tantrums, distractions), then recorded it all in a spreadsheet to present to the teacher. (This was my “you are ruining our lives” spreadsheet, but I didn’t call it that when I presented it to the teacher.) I also told them that the amount of work they sent home was designed for highly-motivated GT student, yet I had an LD/ADHD child.

I told them we desperately needed accommodations to get this child’s educational experience back on a positive track. And I did not leave until I got them. Even then I didn’t get as much as I wanted, so I decided if we worked on math 30 minutes and were only 1/2 done, I would write “30 minutes,” initial it, and send it back. Same with each of the other subjects. I didn’t care if they liked it or not. They can’t expect him to do 3 hours of homework a night, plus finish unfinished schoolwork. That is ridiculous!

If you don’t have any luck working with the teacher and the LD specialist, I’d call an IEP meeting and present the “you’re ruining our lives” spreadsheet there.

Forget about grades. Your child’s grades from 4th grade won’t make a bit of difference in his life. Keeping a positive attitute toward learning will. Once you throw the importance of grades out the window, YOU have control of the situation. Then work on making the time you spend together working on homework a positive, enjoyable experience.

In second grade it was actually the resource teacher who was “ruining our lives” with 2 hours of homework each night. I wrote her letters, even copied them to ESE director, but she ignored me. Finally, I brought it up at an IEP meeting and everyone ganged up on her in my favor. She was so mad at me that she didn’t give him ANY homework the rest of the year. Suited me fine.

Beth

Thanks to Beth and aj for the ideas and for listening. I have been keeping track of the hours he spends on homework and on different subjects (it totalled about 4 hours today!). He managed to keep a fairly cheerful attitude today, but often he becomes frustrated and exhausted, but also refuses to quit. He is really motivated to do well and he cares about grades because they are a big deal at his school. Something has to give here, though, like you said, it’s ridiculous for a 10 year old to be spending so much time on schoolwork at home. I might as well be homeschooling him (heaven forbid). I’m hoping the LD resource teacher will be “on my side” at the meeting about making some accommodations, but I can’t say for sure.

I agree that grades shouldn’t be that important in grade four, but I’m afraid in my son’s situation they actually might be. He will have to compete for a spot in our local magnet middle school in a couple of years and grades do matter for this application.

It was encouraging to hear how your strategies worked for your kids. Thanks again.

Maggie

If your son has an IEP the IEP MUST have the accomodations he needs in it.
I would request an IEP team meeting as soon as I could. One of the things I did was ask the “team” what they considered to be a fair time frame for homework. At the time my son was in 5th grade. They all agreed 30 minutes for my son.From that time on I would set a timer. Once the timer rang at 30 minutes,homework was done,period end of discussion. It was written into the IEP,so noone could say a word about it.

Aside from all of that,your son,by having an IEP, is also protected under a civil rights law called 504.( actually having ADHD he is covered,but most do not realiz that an IEP makes them covered also) In this law it states that the school,MUST provide reasonable accomodations,in order to progress through the regular ed curriculum. Period. If they are not providing this,they are discriminating against him for having a disability,which is illegal. Might want to ask about this:-)

A word about behavior. If his behavior is deteriorating, they MUST provide “postive” behavior interventions,which might include a Behavior plan,which in turn might include shortened assignments. You have the right to request a functional behavior assessment. By a qualified individual. This individual would sit and observe your son,determine what causes him to melt,and then provide, to the teacher,(actually to the IEP team) a plan. If everytime he can’t keep up, he melts down,then this will be obvious to the evaluator.I would keep any notes or documents stating anything about behavior,see if you can see a pattern,and then definitely have it ready to discuss at the IEP meeting.

Good Luck

Hi Socks and all, I’m sure you’ll remember me. First off, let me say that up until this past week, this had been the best school year yet. My son has been taking Concerta since the first of the school year. Grades have improved like you wouldn’t believe, so has his attitude. Last year, we were both struggling to keep him above passing, This year his current GPA is 2.85 and I”ve only had to help with homework maybe 3 times. Amazing!
But Friday, he called me as soon as he got home, the bomb dropped. Each student starts out the 9 weeks with 30 good behavior points, which they lose for bad behavior. He told me before Christmas break that the teacher told him he only 5 left. He was suprised, they don’t tell you when you lose them, they just take them away. He didn’t know where they had all gone. He did admit to getting caught chewing gum a few times. He said she showed him some of the slips and they didn’t even have dates on them, he questioned her about them and she said, well you did it, I’ll just have to find a date. WEll, anyway, if you get to 5 points, they send you to the alternative school for 3 days, which is like a military school, which is where they send kids who get caught smoking, fighting, skipping school,etc. Well, he’s going Monday, because on Friday he didn’t dress for gym, - 3 points,which made him below the 5 point mark. He said the principal called him to the office and told him he had to go and then when he looked over his offenses, he said this is silly, you don’t have to go. I guess he called him back before the end of the day, and said well you do have to go. The teachers had a fit and said a rule is a rule and it wasn’t fair to make an exception. I called and talked to the principal, he told me the same thing. Monday morning I will be going to the teacher, to see exactly what “criminal things” he has done. I”ve told my son the punishment doesn’t fit the crime, but you did break the rules, so there is nothing I can do, but I am livid. This kid has done a complete turn around and all they can do is keep on finding things to punish him for. I really think, part of the problem is me. He has one teacher ( the same one he has last year) who hates me, because I complained about her not following the IEP. I think this is her way of getting even. They aren’t following the IEP this year either, but I have let it go, because he was doing so well and he said Mom, please just drop it, it just makes them pick on me. Now, I feel horrible and I’m ready to
“get even”.
I’m ready to ask for a behavior modification plan if it will keep this from happening again, but I don’t know how to start, what to ask for, and how to accomplish it. What I’m really ready to do is go beat the crap out of the teacher, but I know that isn’t an option. I do feel like they are picking on him, because of me.
So what’s everyones advice, go complain, again, or leave it be. I really hate the thought of sitting back and doing nothing. But it seems by doing something,I’ve caused this. Plus, all this complaing has really gotten us no where, they still don’t follow the IEP. At the last meeting, one of the teachers, said, it’s not fair to the other children when I ask for accomodations for my son.
I know I’ve gone on and on and it might not even make since, but I know this is where I can always find help.
Thanks for any advice .

Just to give you an idea of what kind of school system I’m dealing with. The system has a policy that if you miss more than 4 days of school in a nine week grading period, you have to make that time up, by staying after school for 4 hours each night. When I read this policy I thought it meant if you were absent and it was unexcused. Nope! not so , My daughter had mono and the doctor wanted her home for 2 weeks. She completed all her work at home and still made the honor roll. Even with a doctors excuse she still has to make up that time. I called and talked to her prinicpal, he said that doesn’t matter, a rule is a rule. I ask what she would be doing in these four hours and he said making up her work. I explained her work was all made up, and he said well then she can clean the school, or I’ll give her F’s for this nine week. This in an honor student, a senior, whe missed more school this year than she has missed her whole school career. Are all school systems this way, or are we just “lucky”?

I’m absolutely stunned at the ridiculous “zero tolerance” policies you describe. I’m suspicious that the after-school hours for missing school has more to do with the school getting funding from the state. Is it possible that the four hours (considered a minimum day) would count for funding that the district would otherwise not receive? Most districts have Saturday school for students with behavior problems, but I’ve never heard of being punished for being sick.

What about going to the superintendant and/or the school board over these issues?

You would probably get a lot more responses if you posted all this in a new message so that it would be read by more people. I’ve found the “Parenting a Child With LD” gets the most traffic and would probably get some good ideas.

I agree, I tried to put up a note for others to see this but it is kind of far back.
Repost on parenting an ld child, you should get more responses.
Amy