I am the mother of a 15yr old adhd/ld boy. We have had him tutored in Orton Gillingham for several years etc. I quit work so that I could take him and I have been actively involved in school etc. so that I can make sure that he is getting accomodations etc. My problem is that his grades are not great and he doesn’t study well. He is a star soccer player and that seems to help but no matter what I do to encourage him and point out that he must make grades to play soccer it is not enough. I feel like I am hovering but I don’t know how to stop and let him make his own mistakes. He is on Strattera and zoloft and does well with that but you hear so much about depression, suicide, drugs etc. in these kids and I am constantly waiting on the worst to happen. How do you know what is “normal” teenage behavior and when to be concerned. We have not been overly strict as far as grounding him etc. for grades because not much seems to work. It usually backfires. Positive rewards are not helping either. He also has a sibling that does well without studying etc.
My husband says that I won’t live long if I continue to worry like this! Any thoughts or inspiration would be appreciated. Perhaps I should just go back to work and let the chips fall where they may. :(
How does he feel about your involvement?
COuld it be possible that backing off will “let” him take responsibilities that, right now, would be too much “listening to mom” (instead of Doing It By Himself)?
Right now may well be the time to let him make mistakes… the cost won’t be free, but it’s less than putting it off. But I *would* want his input about it.