i need more enlightening please!!

Well, I think you need to consider. I’m thinking back to your previous post. Does your daughter in general have difficulty with organization, attention, attitude? And I understand sometimes it’s very difficult to figure this out. I forgot if you’ve had testing through your school, or outside of school. If you haven’t had testing consider doing it, because it may help you understand or rule out any possible LD. Another thing, if you’re unsure of how your daughter is doing with math have another teacher or maybe a math tutor evaluate her skills.

If she does have organizational difficulties (and a lot of people with or without LDs do! I fit that mold myself!!!). At our school all the students have reminder binders and each day they must write in assignments.

You can also go one step further with this. Like with her last project that she had a month to do. Backtrack from the due date and make a schedule….each day or so indicate how much must be read, notes, where the prewriting, then writing must be done. Have her use a check-off or cross-out system when done.

Sometimes it is very difficult to figure this all out. You might want to read as much as possible and carefully observe your daughter. Consider some testing and if it does appear there is an attentional element you might consider a med trial (just trying out ADHD meds for a short time to see if they help). Good luck!

Brooklea,

Everything you are describing is very common with kids who have ADD. She has been this way for years…and now you are trying to change old habits…That is the HARDEST PART!!!

Are the herbs helping with anything? Is she more even tempered? I would go to a psychiatrist or MD and start a trial of meds. However, even so…her outward behavior may not change with the meds because she is so used to doing what she does to survive and she may also need counseling to change her behavior.

It is going to get harder before it gets better…been there done that…and it is going to take a ton of consistency on the part of the team that works with your daughter in regards to taking meds and teaching her strategies to change her behavior. I really don’t know what resources are available in Australia either…

thanks for the replies.. i have replies for the both of you.. i just want to say that i am sorry that i sound so pathetic and whiny but i just don’t know what to do.. its almost as if there are two ppl with distinct personalities living in my dd - the charming and the ‘other’..

laura in ca : she has been tested outside school.. testing isn’t that common in schools in australia, or the state of victoria where i live.. also she is at a private school and they seem to only test children who are struggling academically..
her ld is her inconsistency.. she is 10 and in grade 5 and is more than comfortable doing year 7 maths.. but at times struggles to do the most basic of tasks..
the maths project for example.. she had around 2 months to do it and finally after screams, cries and much whining, completed it in 2 hours.. the hardest part was getting her to actually start it..
the organisational system that you write about is great but my dd has a tendency to lie about what is due and how much work she has actually done..

pattim: i am so anxious about giving her medication.. i too was medicated when i was young (i was a teenager though) and still haven’t forgotten how much of a zombie i felt like.. i also worry about the long term effects and how if it is the right thing..
but on the other hand she can’t continue on with the path she is on.. i don’t know if the herbs are really working - she is very good at masking her behaviour - but i really can’t see much improvement except with her hair and skin..
there isn’t that many places to go to here either.. its pretty much ritalin or neurofeedback..
how is your child going with everything?? how did you go about things?? it sounds like the kids are very similar..

Brooklea,

I think learning disability is not the correct term for your daughter’s problems. It sounds like attention, attitude, and behavior are the problems. I agree with the others who say she needs a combination of counseling and medication, more than likely. Medication that is properly dosed does not make one feel like a zombie.

Janis

There is a common saying in the states…Apples don’t fall far from trees…meaning that like mother like daughter and I will share the painful experience I went through with my mom and then my daughter.

My mom is also ADD-Inattentive, she has impulsivity, and can be argumentative not to mention she has a hard time following through on projects and flakes out on things all the time. When I was a kid I wondered why she would say she would take me somewhere and then she would always flake out on me. I just couldn’t understand it…But as an adult I understand now…

My mom’s ADD was untreated until she was an adult and in major financial straights, due to her impulsive out of control spending which led to severe anxiety and depression. I drug my mother kicking and screaming to a psychiatrist because she couldnt’ get out of bed, said she wanted to die and my Dad was overwhelmed with her irrational behavior and didn’t know what to do with her either. The Dr. treated the depression but what I had to deal with later on was how she hid her impulsive spending from me and the $70K mountain of credit card debt she had been juggling on a $900 a month social security income!!! The truth finally came out after my dad died which resulted in my husband and I paying for my fathers internment. I then had to go through the piles of unopened mail and take them to a credit counselor because she couldnt’ face what she had done. The lesson here is my Mom’s UNTREATED ADD made life very difficult for her entire family.

Meds were the last resort but like you I hit a wall and I knew I had to do something about it because if I didn’t I also knew what happened to my mother could have happened to my daughter. The choice was obvious… My daughter has been on Ritalin/Concerta for about 6 years…on top of intensive therapy for her ld’s. Meds gave my daughter the ability to focus on her future opportunities. She became a child I could work with, teach and remediate instead of a sullen overwhelmed child who was acting out because she wondered why she couldn’t learn to read like everyone else. When she started meds it was like…”Mom, is this what it feels like to focus?” That comment said it all to me.

With meds my mom has been on an even keel…her spending is under control and she doesn’t have any credit cards anymore either. The right medication and proper amount can and will do wonders for your family. I am sorry that you are having such a difficult time with this but you are experiencing what I call a “growing season” as we definitely grow through the refining times we have in our life.

that is an incredible story pattim.. i’m speechless - it made me look at my life much more clearly.. you have obviously made the right choice because it is working and you dd has greatly improved..
will your dd need to be on medication for life?? did you ever have doubts that your dd had adhd??
i’m still waiting for a hard copy of the psyche’s report so my dd can see the paediatrician..

janis - thanks for the reply.. i think you are spot on..

btw: my dd math’s project got through to the state finals.. all that screaming and avoiding and lying for nothing..

I have NO DOUBTS that ADD runs is in my family. I was diagnosed the same time as my daughter. My childhood made so much more sense to me in hindsight when I understood what caused my mom’s problems and how it continued into her adulthood. My mom’s depression was a direct result of untreated ADD. Her depression is under control however, she is still ADD, her home is like a bomb went off and it has been that way for years.

Initially the meds help the person realize what it feels like to be “normal” in regards to their ADD type of behaviors. Once their brain is on an even keel, and their behaviors are in control then you can remediate and help them reach their potential. My DD knows what it is like to focus now. She knows she is capable of it and she is now one of the most organized people I know. She still has language issues but we are chipping away at them. I don’t think she will need to be on meds as an adult.

Through this whole refining time with my family I have learned ways or strategies I use to control my ADD, I take vitamins, get sufficient sleep, make organizers and schedules to keep myself on track. I am the caretaker in my family. :-)

You will too find ways you can deal with this issue in your family. You can e-mail me privately through Ld-0nline if you need more specific help. Take care!!

pattim, thanks for the offer.. i shall be taking it up soon!!