Immaturity and ADD

Social skills are the unwritten rules of life and those unwritten rules can pass by the short attention spans of some ADD/ADHD kids. It’s not true for every ADD/ADHD child that their social skills are less developed but it is certainly true for some.

Yet those children can ‘catch up’ in social skills as children with reading issues can ‘catch up’ in reading. It helped my own ADD son when I was pleasantly deliberate with him. I coached him through social situations. It can help to take a little more charge of the matter and,as a parent, to quietly instruct. I also found a play group for my son that met once a week that was run by a therapist whose goal was to help all the children grow and mature in their social skills.

I like a book called Educational Care by Mel Levine. It has some suggestions in there. Check out the websites for ADD as well. A group called CHADD can offer good advice around this issue.

Our son is definitely less mature than most kids his own age and is also dyslexic and ADD-inattentive. My perspective on the immaturity in the social skills area is that this it just one more developmental delay associated with the cause of the LD/ADD.

I have a feeling that social skills are somehow tied in to the “age of reason” which in our son also seemed to be delayed. I had heard 7 was the age of reason. I waited and waited for age 7, hoping that when he reached the age of reason we would be able to finally deal with the incredible temper tantrums. Age 7 came and went; then 8, then 9. Finally at age 10-1/2, I could finally see that we could reason with him, and he could grasp the impact of his behaviors on other people. We were finally able to get his temper tantrums under control (for the most part!). And his social skills started to show improvement around that same time.

He also started on Ritalin shortly after that, so I’ll never know if that also played a factor. Perhaps the medication helps him notice the social cues from others around him.

I find this to be very true! My son turned 10 in May and most of the time , even in social settings like school or BD parties, he acts more like he’a 6, 7 yrs old. He whines alot, gets his feelings hurt very easily, thinks everyone around him thinks that he is stupid (when in fact he is very intellegent),and plays excellent by himself. Sound familiar? My son was diagnosed in 2000, but I knew he had it from the time he was 2 yrs old…maybe even younger….I could go on and on….if U need more info or just want to compare stories, feel free to email me at [email protected]. Have a great weekend!

My son has a terrific personality—he is gentle, kind, and very loving—he just acts like he is about 7 when he will be 10 in February. He plays with toys made for younger kids, watches programs for younger kids, talks like a younger child, and just acts like a younger child in general. He even reasons and thinks like a younger child. Fortunately, he is able to keep up with his classmates in school with extra help. I do not know what to do to try to help him ‘grow’ into his age group.

I don’t know about others kids with ADHD, but I can certainly attest to that with my son. Luckily his birthday was right on the cut off and we kept him back a year, not because of academic but strickly the maturity. It definetly has helped, though it’s difficult to do that now.

Drae-

My son (age 9) has ADD and also acts immature for his age. It has been tough on him, as he is outgoing and very funny, but he can get very wild. He actually gave me a hard time today at the supermarket…we were waiting at the deli counter and he got bored and started crawling on the floor and acting silly and laughing, so I can relate to your situation. Is your son on medication? I have just started my son on Adderall and it seems to have some calming effect on him(not totally,though). I also try to get together with friends who have kids who are 2 or 3 years younger than my son, so he can blow off some steam.

My son is dyslexic and also very inattentive, despite not being formally dx as ADD. He’s clearly in that ballpark. And is socially immature. Some people have suggested his immature social skills are a sign of other disabilities (ie NLD) so I am happy to hear about all of your children. (If you know what I mean ..)

I will say that we had him in a social skills group in 1st grade when I really saw a lag between him and the other kids, and it did help. Now the tutoring needed for the reading (he’s in 3rd) prevents him from doing the social skills, but his skills have continued to develop. He’s on the young side but not so far out that he can’t make friends. I also think some of his immature behaviors are a result of anxiety which is a result of not being as successful at school.

I’m wondering about what type of school situation has worked well for your children that are dyslexic and ADD-inattentive? We are looking at making a change for 4th grade. Thanks!