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Is it normal for frustrated children to act out?

Submitted by an LD OnLine user on

I live in MS. Here before a child can be evaluated, he has to go through a series of interventions lasting no more than 16 weeks. Well, my 11 yr old is on his second intervention with no success.
At the beginning of the year he was a good student who kept up ok in his other grades except for math. He has become very frustrated and angry, calling himself stupid and dumb. Now his other grades are slipping and he has started to get into a lot of trouble.
The lead teacher at his school, who is the one I have to go through, seems to think the behavior and academic problems are totally unrelated. My husband agrees. My son has never been a behavior problem, but has struggled with math since the third grade. This year has been especially hard and he knows there is no way he is going to pass.
It seems so clear to me that all this frustration has got to surface somewhere. Am I totally off base here?
Yesterday, Erik was written up again and I was in class and the school could not get me, so they called my husband. They wanted to know if they should suspend him or paddle him. My husband said paddle him. I was so angry. He is already angry and frustrated enough.
Help me out here. Is this normal? He is being punished, but should I be harder on him. I feel like I should hold back until something can be resolved at school.
Mary

Submitted by Anonymous on Sat, 02/05/2005 - 1:14 AM

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In my experience with my ADHD child - yes, it is very common for ADHD kids to act out when they’re frustrated. They get so overwhelmed with all the requirements to ‘focus’ that they do get frustrated. My son is almost 13, he still gets frustrated. He has to focus so hard at school - when he comes home — he is just absolutely worn out - and yes, he does get frustrated, especially when he has a lot of written assignments.

My son also has a disorder of written expression (dsygraphia). He has very much trouble with writing speed and copying information. We noticed when he was really acting out in 2nd Grade, he’d get mad in school, throw his books on the floor cry, and kick the desk in front of him. Naturally, we thought is was behavioral. He’d get in trouble at school, then come home and get punished again. He didn’t have a life. We finally had him evaluated for ADHD and LD. Since being treated, we have seen tremendous improvements in his grades and his additude about school. Other kids are more accepting of him. Now that he’s in middle school, most of the kids have forgotton what a horrible time he had in 2nd grade.
My son was able to get accomodations to help him in school. This has no effect on his grades, but it allows him some extra time to complete assignments, or to type his work in class. It has really helped.

Can you have the school evaluate your son, or find a psychologist to evaluate him privately (psychologists do educational testing to determine if there are any problems with how your child learns.)

Good luck. My husband and I knew we needed to get my child some help when his frustration became so bad that he didn’t have an enjoyable quality of life. IF you find out that your child just can’t help his problems at school with frustration because of a LD, you can justify not having to punish him as much.

We selected to medically treat my child in 2nd grade and what a difference it made for him!!! He was able to pay attention, sit still, learn, etc. without having to spend every day getting in trouble. I don’t think this would have even been possible without some type of intervention for him. Some people choose to have medical help, others find alternate ways to help their kids. Today, my son is an a wonderful kid, very well behaved, an A Honor’s student, and liked by his teachers — it’s such a change.

Submitted by Anonymous on Sat, 02/05/2005 - 3:29 AM

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My last post made it sound like ADHD kids were the only ones that tended to act out when frustrated, and that’s not what I meant.

I think any kid that has learning problems, emotional problems, physical problems, etc. tends to get frustrated at times and act out.

Have you ever heard about a learning disorder called Dsycalcula (it’s a learning disorder dealing with mathematical ability). It’s related to Dsylexia. Dsycalcula deals more with problems relating to mathematical computation? There may be some reference to this on ldonline.

Submitted by Anonymous on Sat, 02/05/2005 - 3:35 AM

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Dsycalcula is spelled Dyscalcula. I have a complex about spelling this word right, and always spell it the wrong way 1st.

Submitted by victoria on Sat, 02/05/2005 - 4:52 AM

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One more try on spelling: dyscalculia or sometimes dyscalculalia
An *awful* word to pronounce, we’ve got to find a better name.

My personal take on this is that like dyslexia, it tends to be overdiagnosed by people who want to wash their hands of the problem; it does exist but it’s not half the class.

There are a lot of posts about this on the Teaching Math page and the Adults With LD page and possibly some on the Postsecondary page.
There is a new but frequent poster called ellyodd who has set up her own website on this topic.
Use the search option at the top of this page, type in “dyscalculia” and check to search the whole post and not just the title, and you will find a bunch of stuff. Also go to ellyodd’s web page (PM to her for the site address if it doesn’t show up on your search) and get all sorts of info

Submitted by des on Sat, 02/05/2005 - 6:18 AM

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My feeling is that math is mostly not taught very well, so a lot of times it is dysteachia. I think that much of the time there is not enough time spent at the concrete level. But it does exist. With attentional problems math will be oh so much harder. In any case, you need to deal with the attention issues and deal with really teaching the math.

—des

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