Hi all. I have a son who has some learning issues. I am really trying to get him to be more interested in school type things., He has an assignment to write a paper. He has a good topic, one that he picked. The teacher has the parents sign a paper saying that we would help the child. My child does not want my help. He does the least and is not concerned with how the work looks, how it is spelled, and which words he uses to convey his ideas.. Tonight I looked over an assignment. It was so messy. He cried and felt humilated by me that I thought it could be neater. I a not out to destroy the soul of my child but I do want him to strive for more. It would have taken 15 minutes to rewrite the work. He claims that he met the assignment requirements and that it would be fine, I told him he was making the decision. I was encouraging him to redo but he felt that he had fullfilled the assignment. I don’t want to create a wedge between us. I know he has a writing IEP but with perserverence he could have created a better impression. I think he is playing me a little, I want your advice. How much do I push?
Re: Motivation and a 9th Graders
I think your son must feel just awful that even his own parent thinks he is lazy, when the real problem is that he has an LD that makes writing very difficult for him. Perhaps he can sometimes produce neater work, if he makes a great effort, but that kind of effort is very tiring and cannot always be sustained. This is especially true when a child has just finished working on an assignment. I think perhaps it would help if you encouraged him to type assignments that require neatness.
Re: Motivation and a 9th Graders
I see mixed issues here. One is the actual quality of the paper, the choice of words etc. One is the use of language, spelling etc. And one is appearance, neatness.
You are putting all these demands on at once and he is probably overwhelmed.
To me, the quality of the writing is most important, followed fairly closely by good use of language (since even good ideas will not be communicated if they cannot be read nor understood), with neatness coming in far behind.
Your help would be more welcome and so more helpful if you concentrated on the most important things and either ignored or worked around the less important. He could type the paper, or you could type it from his copy, and then you could go over it and look for ways to make the sentences better. Even handwritten, you could ignore a few errors and cross-outs — I promise you, they are not deadly sins — and help him focus on content improvements.
If he does need to rewrite it, it is a good idea to refresh the mind by taking a break first anyway.
It seems self-contradictory, but a more laid-back approach can get better (and neater) results in the long run.
I never make my LD son recopy work. It would never take 15 minutes. Does your son type? Right now I type any work of my son’s that needs to look good. I certainly plan for him to be able to type himself by the time he is in high school.
I personally don’t think any 9th grade child would cry just to manipulate their parents. I can’t help but think it is more effort for him to do what you would like him to do than you think.
Beth