This year has been an absolute NIGHTMARE!!! My 9 year old son goes to catholic school and they can’t handle him anymore, so they have decided to basically kick him out. His teacher has been unwilling to work with him and has ignored all of the reccomendations given to her from the public school district, me and the vice principal of the school. The principal is virtually nonexistent,and will not return any phone calls. I also left a message for the associate superintendent of schools and so far no response, so they are of no help. Unfortunately there is only 1 3rd grade class in this school, so she is it. She told me the other day that she was no longer going to make him do any work and that she was going to let him do whatever he wants to do. When she has had enough she sends him out of the classroom to the 4th grade room so now this teacher has had it with him before he is actually in her class. I say this move was either stupid or malicious, neither is a very desirable quality.
My dilemma is he is (supposably) currently at a 1st grade reading level. However, when he wants to read he tends to do better. I can’t decide if I should homeschool him or send him to the public school. If I homeschool him he will have the potential to completely catchup to a 4th grade level. If I send him to public school I am afraid that he will become even more frustrated and he will be “labeled” there as well. However if I homeschool him I am afraid that I will either miss something or I will be unable to accomplish the ultimate goal of getting him ready for 4th grade. I should also mention we are sending him to Sylvan Learning Center and he loves it. He says Sylvan gives him the learning feeling. He has even come up with a superhero named Super Sylvan and his trusty sidekick Alphaboy! Super Sylvan fights the evil Dr. Lazybrain. My son is incredibly creative and we know he is very intelligent, he is just not motivated and his ADHD only seems to be getting worse. I just don’t know what to do. Please help!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
P.S. if anyone knows of a really good curriculum please let me know.
Get him out of there!
I saw your other post, and I think you are smart to go the homeschooling route. We didn’t think we were up to it either, but it’s so much easier when you can tailor what you do to the kids’ needs on an individual basis! The real problem with most of these kids is that they don’t fit in well to the “normal” school model. They are punished for it, instead of folks asking how the environment can be changed to help accomodate their needs. As Esmom says, even an IEP or a 504 plan can be ignored if the school isn’t up for dealing with your kid.
We used homeschooling and alternative schools. Two of my kids were classic “ADHD” cases and both of them are doing just fine, without ever having been on a milligram of medication. Of course, we had to make some sacrifices, and spend a lot of time developing effective behavior plans and so forth (I am actually writing a book about what we did), but both of them were much easier to manage when they didn’t have to go through sitting still and doing worksheets and generally being bossed around all day. We didn’t even really have a curriculum - we just met once a week and talked over what we wanted to accomplish. Many things that take weeks or months at school were accomplished in days or even hours. We did use workbooks sparingly, but we also used community school classes, field trips, and impromptu activities in the kitchen and the garden and the park that we made into lessons. It was really pretty fun most of the time! And there are support groups all over the place for homeschoolers these days, which makes socialization a lot easier.
There are a couple of well-designed research studies in the 1970s which showed that “ADHD” kids in open classrooms were virtually indistinguishable from “normal” kids, whereas they stuck out like the proverbial sore thumb in “regular” classrooms. To me, this finding was so strong and so important, that I wondered why we haven’t created a whole system of open classrooms for “ADHD” kids where they will fit in without having to have big hunks of their personalities truncated by medication or by punishment and humiliation. Lacking that, homeschooling and alternative schools seemed the best alternative, and they have worked great for us. We even went to the length of helping to create a new charter school designed with kids like this in mind. Kevin is attending every day without the slightest complaint, and is thriving in that environment. I am quite certain I would NOT be saying that about our neighborhood school. Kevin likes to do his own thing and HATES to be told what to do. He would be a nightmare in a regular classroom, but the open classroom setting with learning goals and choice of activities works remarkably well for him. It probably would for your son, too.
Hope that is helpful! Don’t give up - you are right about your son. He will probably be fine, if the schools don’t ruin him. Homeschooling certainly can’t be any worse than what he has been exposed to, and the longer you do it, the better you will get, which is not necessarily true for the school. Good luck!
That’s really unfortunate. The private schools aren’t legally obligated to provide special ed services, and they know it, so it seems many of them won’t even try to implement the modifications and acccommodations that are contained within 504 plans and IEPs. Believe me, I’ve been there. I think you’re right that the only two options are homeschooling and public school.
My understanding is that even if your child is not in public school, if he or she has an IEP, the public school system is still obligated to provide services. I missed whether your child has either a 504 or IEP. If so, I’d look into getting the services while you are home schooling. I know depends upon what he needs.
I used to be concerned with labeling as well, and it’s a valid concern. But it’s better for you to get the help your child needs. For instance, I didn’t want to medicate my son, but now medication seems to be working so far. My son had ADHD symptoms but also some significant anxiety. He has started medication for the anxiety, and he is obviously calmer. Hopefully this will work for him. I also didn’t want an IEP (because he is of above average intelligence, and I don’t want him labeled), but it looks like we’re headed that way. The IEP protects him, and when he was acting before with aggression, he was being labeled then.
I share some of my experience with you to let you know you’re not alone. If you are able to do the homeschooling, I say try that, and make sure the public school provides any necessary evaluations and services.
Good luck.