My wonderful kid..

I probably shouldn’t be sharing this,it seems so personal. So PLEASE don’t tell my kid!!

Everyone knows me here,my life is basicly an open book. My oldest is AHD/Gifted/LD. He has tendencies to be anxious,or at least he did in public school.

The past week he has been telling me he has trouble sleeping,feels anxious,has butterflies in his stomach,etc. Told him because he is sleeping soo late during the day and not getting enough exercise that maybe the sleeplessness was due to that. We bought him Tea,do help relax him,he has taken baths,etc. I felt like something was bothering him,OR,at 13 he was starting to have issues with anxiety.

Well,finally,he tells me,”mom,I have done something sooo bad,so wrong,that the guilt is killing me.” My mind started screaming,I felt anxious,I mentally held my breath.” I said,Son,you know you can tell me anything,no matter what it is,I will still Love you”. I am thinking,okay,God help me,what has he done? What will I do?

“okay,but please don’t tell Dad”. Hmmm. “Son,I can’t promise that,come on and tell me.” “A friend at school gave me a CD of a naked women,and I put it in my laptop and looked at it.” It is in the history and I can’t get it out of my computer! DR. Stark will know and he will lose respect for me! Okay,I am thinking,that’s it? That’s what your so worried about? His little brother,age 12,was sitting there,obviously aware of his dilema,pipes in,”yeah,he made us watch the church channel!” “Shut up!” he yells at him.I honestly am trying to keep a staright face.”I destroyed the CD” ,”yeah is brother says,He broke it in a million pieces”. So once I get my composure,I say,”well I hope this is a lesson to you,you should not put CD’s in your laptop,especially inappropriate ones,AND,just because your friends are doing something wrong,you must make better choices,right?” “right” he says. “How do we get the file out of the laptop?” He seems to have stark fear that his teacher will see the history and find out that he looked at this CD. He is terribly afraid? This makes me terribly afraid. Why are you soo scared of the teacher? Has he done something to make you afraid? No!,I just don’t want him to lose respect for me. He’ll tell Mrs. V and she won’t have any respect for me. Please,Please,don’t tell Dad.
So,here we have it,he is anxious has been anxious all week long,over something he did. I said,well,you know the only way to feel better about this ,right? You have to go and tell all the people you are worried about and let them know you made a mistake,that you are sorry,and that you hope they remain having respect for you. I then say,have you ever seen DR Stark get upset with someone and stay upset with them? “no,mom,but noone has ever done something soo bad.” “listen,I got your back,I will go with you,I will stand by you,If you get stuck with what you want to say,I will help,but this is for you to do. It part of growing up,Son,when you make a mistake,you feel guilty,the only way to make it right,is to make amends,even if it means having consequences,sometimes the consequences are far less then the punnishment you put yourself through. I am sure standing up to what you did,like a man,noone will lose respect,they will probably have more” But what if he gets mad? Damn,why is my kid so afraid? It is making me very worried. So while both of my kids are standing in front of me,I say,”Listen,if your teacher ever did something inappropriate,you could tell me”. “GOD NO! MOM! both start laughing,DR. Stark would never do that! My youngest looks at me with sincerity and says,it’s just that we really really like our school,and don’t want to get kicked out”,”yeah,mom,that’s it”. My oldest chimes in. (The laptop is a school laptop,the students are not suppose to use it for any other reason.)
Wow,my kid is so worried about telling his teacher,because he doesn’t want to leave his school!All over a naked woman? Frankly at 13,I would be worried if he didn’t have curiousity about a naked woman! I sure won’t tell him that!God bless my kid for having a conscience,hopefully that will carry him through his teenage years. For now,we’ll be going to talk with his teacher,so he can enjoy the rest of his summer…. As he went onto bed,he stopped by in the Kitchen,and said,”mom,thanks for standing by me”,”as long as I live,son,I will do just that.”