NVLD question-- Could this be it?

Hi-

I am just beginning looking into my GFG’s problems from a medical perspective (8 years old, 3rd grade). She recently saw the pediatrician and she agreed that something is amiss. I have a referral to a Psychiatrist next but could only get referred for 2 appointments. Unfortunately, my HMO does not offer a lot in terms of mental health care so GFG will only be able to see the phyc a few times. We also cannot afford for GFG to see someone out of pocket. The pediatrician said to expect the phyc to dish out meds. I’m not too comfortable with that given that wrong diagnosis (which I would think would be common if you only see a phyc a few times) and incorrect meds given could be disastrous. I really don’t think meds are the answer in her case anyway.

I’ve been doing A LOT of homework to be prepared for the appointment with the phyc. GFG’s teacher, doc, me & DH all see signs of anxiety (usually centered around school as opposed to home), ADHD and some oppositional behavior (but more in an introverted manner— never slamming doors, aggressive, etc. She listens to the lectures, is fairly cooperative when she is disciplined but then just turns around and does whatever she desires like she was not a part of that conversation). Even though she seems to have a lot of symptoms associated with these disorders none of them quite hit the nail on the head either. Then I ran across NVLD and the little hairs stood up on the back of my neck.

Aside from some ADHD/ODD/Anxiety symptoms, NVLD also explains:

1. her very high intelligence (past educators labeled her a highly gifted which probably lead to “emotional problems” and “lack of effort,laziness or boredom” on her part. They also cited her intelligence as the reason why she is “manipulative & knows exactly what she is doing”— basically they said she annoyed and disobeyed on purpose because she is too bright for her own good, etc.). She performs very well orally, spelling, vocabulary, can memorize material very well, etc. Uncharacteristically, she is very good at math (we are doing 4th grade math at home because she loves it so much) but she does have problems aligning numbers in the proper columns. She also has a horrible time with word problems, real world money calculations and she still can’t tell time very well.
2. Her tendency to spell unfamiliar words VERY phonetically (we always thought that was just a kid thing and was “cute.”)
3. her terrible motor skills (the classic— still can’t tie shoes, button her pants, ride a bike, dress barbie’s or write quickly and legibly in 3rd grade). Never was a physical child, no monkey bars, group sports, etc. Very uncoordinated with running, calisthenics, sports in general. Does have a bit of balance problems— falling & bumping into things A LOT. Teachers and us always thought it was on purpose and she was exaggerating on purpose for attention.
4. her tendency to “favor” the left side of her body when running, etc.
5. Her very literal translation of things and inability to get/make jokes, sarcasm, etc.
6. Her poor social skills and inability to interact with peers on an expected level. She lacks tact and does not know the first thing about interacting with other 3rd graders on a conversational level. She’s better with younger kids or adults. However, many times you will ask her a question and her answer will be about something TOTALLY different.
7. her very different behavior at home vs. at school. Has A LOT of anxiety with school but is okay at home because even though she wears us thin sometimes, we know exactly how to explain things to get her to accomplish them (and it’s still a CHORE!).
8. Her uncanny ability to get lost even though she’s in a place she’s been a million times (i.e. she can’t tell you which corner at the intersection we wait for the school bus is the correct one to stand on even though she stands there EVERY DAY— learned that one the hard way! Also she has no clue which door she goes in to go to school. She goes in that same door multiple times each day but unless she following the kids in line, she has no clue).

There are so many other things I read about NLVD that fit her to a T. I really feel this may be it. I’m now trying to do all of my research so I can get the phyc to give her the proper tests or refer her to another specialist to look more into NLVD. I’m expecting opposition— nothing is ever easy and I also don’t know how familiar the Phyc is with this. To make matters worse, the initial “on the side” opinion of her current teacher is she is bipolar and/or OCD which I think is totally incorrect. I believe this is because GFG exhibits some strange behaviors at school. She acts completely different at home and I believe some of the things the teacher describes are a result of anxiety/coping mechanism from NVLD. School is the place that stresses her out.

I have been asking GFG more specific questions and making certain observations to see if NVLD fits. My question is about the ability to not pick up nonverbal ques. The set up:

This morning we were in the car going to school. I was kind of crabby anyway and I was trying to have a serious conversation with her. She kept acting goofy trying to make jokes about the things I was saying (her jokes are NEVER very funny and often times don’t make any sense). A few times I kept going on with what I was talking about but added a very irritated edge to my voice (which anyone else would clearly interpret as “knock it off”). She kept going right along with the jokes like nothing happened. So I asked “did you notice how irritated my voice is?” Do you think I’m trying to tell you something by doing that?” She said she noticed my voice was different and just figured that must have meant “pay attention” because that is what everyone is always telling her to do all the time. She couldn’t specifically tell me what she was doing that I may have been responding to. She figured it must have been SOMETHING but really wasn’t sure what so she just ignored it.

For those of you familiar, in NLVD is it that the kids don’t even NOTICE the NV communication? Or is it they may notice something is going on nonverbally but don’t really know how to interpret it so it just kind of goes over their head?

Also, any general opinions on if you think I’m looking down the right road with NVLD are welcome.