Hi, my name is Jenny. I am working on my master’s degree in special education. I am taking an adolescent development class and one of the class requirements is to gather information from parents of teenagers. I chose this site because (I have been reading it for a while and) I am most interested in working with students with LDs. I would very much appreciate any input any of you may have about any of the following questions or about anything else you would like to tell me.
What are the biggest jobs and challenges in parenting a teenager (as opposed to a younger child)?
What types of disputes do you experience with your teen?
What type of guidelines or rules have you established?
Do you feel like your teen respects your decisions?
Do you feel like your teenager’s life is more or less stressful than your own teen experience?
What advice would you give to someone just starting to parent a teen?
What advice would you give to teachers of teenagers?
Thank you very much for your time and your help!
Jenny.
Re: Parents of Teens: Help with a project, please.
Thank you, Helen, for your reply! I really appreciate it!
Re: Parents of Teens: Help with a project, please.
What are the biggest jobs and challenges in parenting a teenager (as opposed to a younger child)?
Coping with independence…helping one’s teenager learn how to behave in a responsible manner without being overly controlling. You have to let your teenager make mistakes so that he/she can learn from them. However, you don’t want them to get in such deep trouble that they can’t get out. One example I can give is in regards to a parent I know that had to deal with a child that got involved with drugs. Peer pressure can outweigh parental pressure at time, and this parent’s child got involved with a group of kids abusing OTC medications and alcohol. It was a potentially dangerous situation that was discovered, and then the other parents had to figure out what to do to save their kids. My friend had to remove her child from the school she attended to eliminate the bad influence of those friends that got her into trouble. Younger children typically don’t get into this kind of trouble. I see competing with peer pressure as one of the biggest issues a parent of a teenager has to deal with.
What types of disputes do you experience with your teen?
Most involve either movies he wants to attend that I find inappropriate, or arguments about whether he can drive with other teenagers in the car. We’ve set a rule for the first year of having a license that he objects to.
What type of guidelines or rules have you established?
We expect to know where our teenager is. If he deviates from a normal routine, he is to call us and ask permission. (like, going to a friend’s house after school)
We expect basic chores to be done at home.
We expect our teenager to do what he’s asked to do, even if it’s not a normal chore.
We have set up specific driving rules.
We expect grades to be kept at a certain level (that fits with his dyslexia and dygraphia).
We require our children (both younger and teens) to treat adults with respect.
Do you feel like your teen respects your decisions?
Not really…he may abide by them, but not respect them.
Do you feel like your teenager’s life is more or less stressful than your own teen experience?
My current teenager is a very low stress individual. Any experience for him is lower stress than either I or his father experiences. I expect this to be different with his younger sister who isn’t a teenager yet.
What advice would you give to someone just starting to parent a teen?
Know where your teenager is.
Know who your teenager’s friends are.
Make sure your teenager keeps busy. Things like sports and music can help keep a teen away from drugs and illegal activities, just because they don’t have time to get involved in such activities.
What advice would you give to teachers of teenagers?
Don’t talk down to teenagers. They can tell, and really don’t like it. Treat them like adults. Expect them to take responsibility for their school work. Expect them to pay attention in class. Don’t try too hard to be their friends.
What are the biggest jobs and challenges in parenting a teenager (as opposed to a younger child)?
They want their independence but do not have the life experience to make decisions. Example 16-year-old gets license law states for six months they can’t drive anone under 25 around. Teen thinks this is a stupid rule and breaks the rule.
What types of disputes do you experience with your teen?
Older son; how late he could stay out and if he can drive other teens.
Younger son is compliant and we haven’t had much in the way of disputes.
What type of guidelines or rules have you established?
How late they can stay out, who they can drive, chores. The most important thing is to be consistant and reasonable. Don’t try to be you teen’s best friend.
Do you feel like your teen respects your decisions?
Younger one yes older one no.
Do you feel like your teenager’s life is more or less stressful than your own teen experience?
More
What advice would you give to someone just starting to parent a teen?
Look at the big picture and realize that most things that seem important do work out. Your job is to instill values in you teen. Pick your battles with you teen. Be consistant but reasonable.
What advice would you give to teachers of teenagers?
It takes a village to raise a teen.