I have to ask this questiion because my gut tells me something is not right . My 4th grade dd has a teacher that keeps a homework hero board with pockets for every one in the class .If you don’t finish an assignment or don’t do a homework you have to fill out a slip and place it in your pocket . Even if it is a few problems on a math page that you didn’t get. The whole class then gets or doesn’t get marbles toward their party in the class jar. My dd who is dyslexic and often doesn’t finish all her work ( or forgets assignments ) often has to fill out a slip . She says the whole class watches her and moans her name or says things to her when she puts in her slip . She says it is humiliating and she isn’t making friends in the class because she is adversly affecting their rewards ( her words not mine ). It is hard to motivate her to do homework but I’m uncomfortable wth this “motivation ” technique What should I do, if any thing?
thanks Cathy
This is not right
You don’t need us to tell you that this is humiliating for your child. Immediately schedule a conference with the teaher to discuss your concerns, and be sure to remain composed when you talk to her about this. Perhaps she doesn’t realize that what she is doing is using negative peer pressure as a goad to “force” your daughter to accomplish what will take years of positive reinforcement and gentle coaxing to accomplish. (If you could beat dyslexics and other children with LD’s into not having them, we would not need special ed services at all, just a supply of paddles.)
If the teacher remains unconvinced of the trauma that she is inflicting upon your child, schedule a conference with the prinicpal, special ed director, and a competant psychologist who understands LD’s.
Should that prove to be an exercise in futility, find a good advocate in your area to help you with the next step.
Children with LD’s very, very often suffer from post traumatic stress syndrome as they grow older, and this is very, very often caused by the subtle and not so subtle abuse they get when very young from family, teachers, and/or peers who do not understand why they are different and bully them for being stupid/lazy/slow/weird/etc.
Please do not allow this to continue with your daughter.
definitely speak with the teacher
as obvious as it may seem, she may not have thought about the reality this is supplying for your daughter
OTOH, I do think your daughter should have to participate with the system to some extent instead of being totally exempt. I do think there should be a modification, however-perhaps only being penalized for missed assignments, not incomplete ones.
Bypass the teacher-speak with the principal or someone highe
This teacher is highly insensitive and it is inexcusable. Even if you convince the teacher that she is wrong about this one thing, her level of thoughtlessness is sure to pervade other areas. Talk to the principal immediately. If the principal doesn’t listen, keep going higher up until someone does. Document.
If there is another class that your daughter could be transferred to, seriously consider it. My son’s worst school experiences were from teachers too insensitive to notice the damaging effects of peer pressure. It haunts my son to this day. He felt stupid, friendless, and helpless. He is a pleaser and didn’t want to worry me, so he told me it wasn’t so bad. Now that he no longer in public school, he tells me his horror stories. I feel so guilty that I didn’t do enough for him that it keeps me up some nights.
I would be very suprised if this method is helping your daughter learn. It seems to be handicapping her socially. It may be difficult for her to make the change, but what is the upside to her staying in her present classroom?
Oh, it makes me so angry for these poor children! Don’t they have a hard enough time without these ignorant teachers who think that the “normal students” are the only ones worthy of their teaching?
Re: Peer pressure vs. Self esteem
I would speak with the teacher. Does your daughter have an IEP? If so, the IEP could stipulate modified homework for her. If not, tell the teacher that your daughter’s dyslexia causes her to need to work longer hours on homework and so she is unable to always finish it. Explain that your daughter is very interested in her school work but dyslexia renders her a slower worker. Tell her also that your daughter is very upset at so often being the cause of the class losing marbles.
See how the teacher responds to this. Is it her intention that a dyslexic child always be made to feel this way? Perhaps the teacher will modify homework assignments. Perhaps between the two of you you can come up with a system of support such that your daughter will not forget her homework. Does she have an assignment book? Could the teacher e-mail you a weekly homework sheet?
Re: Peer pressure vs. Self esteem
She is trying to use a token system for behavior modification but isn’t doing it right. She should be putting in a token/marble for each instance of getting it right (getting homework done). X amount of tokens=some prize (a class party).
I wouldn’t tell her she isn’t doing it right, though. :) that’s the principal’s job. I would go to her and describe the reality for your child. Likely she has no idea. She may be hoping that peer pressure on non-performers in addition to positive reinforcement of correct behaviors will make her plan more effective.
See her immediately-a well meaning teacher who likes kids will back off immediately. The teacher that doesn’t will be threatened as she is insecure, inflexible, etc.
Approach her calmly and ask for her help for your daughter’s emotional well-being. Don’t make her feel under the gun. Explore the things that could be done to work this out. If she doesn’t respond appropriately by modifying her plan or your child’s part in the plan - them see the principal immediately and consider moving your child.
Re: Peer pressure vs. Self esteem
Do not wait on this…..Meet the teacher ASAP. If you do not like the response then go to the principal. Be kind but very firm. Your daughter does not need this added stress.
Get mods/accoms so daughter isn't
penalized! This teacher needs to provide the amount of work that your daughter CAN finish.
I agree - get accommodations for her !
I agree with Leah !!
The best thing that you can do is immediately get your daughter’s work reduced so that she CAN finish it !!!
Simple as that.
Thanks
Just wanted to say thanks ..Sometimes I think I just being over protective . Its good to know others are thinking the same way . I have a appt with the teacher for Wed afternoon . My husband can go with me . I will invite the resource room teacher to talk about appropriate accomadations . She does have modifications to homework and tests on her IEP . We just had a test come home on Math . She had gotten all 90’s on the review chapte r tests but a 67 on the final test. It was mostly careless mistakes , When I asked her why she didn’t check it she said she didnot have time . I asked her why she didn’t take it in the resource room and she said it wasn’t necessary since she had finished it in the class . I don’t thinkk a 9 yr old should be making that decision since extra time is written on the IEP. I’m beginning to think tired mom is correct if the teacher doesn’t get it She just won’t get it all year ? What do you think.
I have so been there.
If you find yourself micromanaging every little thing it is time to ask for a new teacher. It was one of the best things I ever did.
The right environment is so important for these kids. They have enough on their little shoulders lets not add the stress of a poor teacher/child match.
Re: I have so been there.
That is how I’m beginning to feel . I hate to be a pain but ….that’s how I feel the teacher is going to view me but maybe if I lay all the cards out at this meeting on Thurs I’ll get a feeling if we can work this out or if its a lost cause . My dd really hates change so i hate to have to pull her . Well we will see on Thurs.
re: being "a pain"
Sometimes if being a pain gets accomplished what needs to be accomplished, oh well.
I once told a teacher that she needed to oral test my daughter (she had just failed a test in the class - when I asked my dd why she failed it she looked at me like I was an idiot and said, “MOM, I couldn’t read the questions”!)
The teacher responded, Well, Mrs. ___________, you don’t need to work about that…”
To which I replied, “You’re right, and as long as you ORAL TEST my daughter, I won’t have to!” She got the message (BTW, my daughter made a 100% on the test and Shocked the socks off this teacher) :-)
nt