Private school placement

It’s SO rare that a public school system recommends private placement for an LD student that I’d investigate every choice. In my area(Mass), private placements are for very multiply disabled students.

We live in NYC, and our son is in 3rd grade, dyslexic and inattentive. Not a behavior problem and very bright. There are plenty of special schools near us, but they serve kids with a wide range of issues. There is one school about 40 minutes away door to door on a good day that would meet his needs. If he gets in (its very competitive) we will send him. Then we have to decide if we should move closer to the school. I think if I lived in a more suburban area where everything is a 15 minute car ride anyway I wouldn’t worry about a 40 minute ride. But getting in and out of Manhattan can be difficult, and his bus ride could easily be over an hour one way. We have another child too, so we’d have to move her to a new school. I just don’t want everyone so spread out. Good luck.

Darlene,

we had the exact thoughts last year, but we knew we could not leave our son where he was- not only because of limited progress in academic skills- the major reason we wanted him out of his public school was the fact that he was “deeply saddened” as the psychologist has phrased it. He was simply depressed due to the burden of not doing well in school and mainly because the “open classroom” setting was so inappropriate for him- he was totally lost.

I copied below a message that I had sent some time ago about my son’s current school. Yes, he is commuting 35 miles each way- a total of two hours a day (he shares transportation with two other boys, so it takes over an hour to get to school and ~45 minutes to get back). Nevertheless, we feel it is all worth it (so far). We have a different child at home- his self esteem is through the ceiling. He is making good progress in his reading, but the major progress we see is in his communication skills and his writing. Yes, he misses (sometime badly) his friends from the old school, but this is easier to cope with than his daily struggles with HW from his old school. Yes, there are things that he (and we) miss- his science class in his old school and his art’s class (See below) not mentioning the “odyssey of mind” program we did last year. But, we realize some time by the end of last school year that at the moment, there is not a better place for him than his current school- he is not ready to go to boarding school, and this would be the only option if we wanted something else (see comments below).

Nearby us there is virtually nothing when
looking for private LD school, so we were left with
only two schools X (35 miles and a 15 years record)
or Y with 2 years experience.
I visited both schools and felt the Y was
still not enough (not intense enough to really make a
difference). X is not appealing at all when
visiting - they have a rather poor Web site at
… . If you know that tuition (when applied
privately and paid by parents) is 34k$, it does not go
into making the school to appear welcoming. (quiet as
you notice in the other school- my son said “it is
scary” when I visited and I said it is so quiet here;
now he is complaining that “A. makes noises when he
reads”, and this is in the class with just a few
children). It is very basic when one looks for
appearance; for example, classroom walls are virtually
empty. This is very different than any public school
I visited, but maybe it is what the kids need, since
~70% of students have second diagnosis of AD(H)D
(including my son). But, in the lower school (grades
2-6) there are 11 students and 4 teachers. The
children have to be of average or above intelligence
and cannot present any behavioral problems. When we
spoke with a new science teacher for the middle school
(new to this school) he said it is absolutely amazing how well
behaved all these children are (compare to regular
public school pupils).

The psychologist who evaluated our son said that he is
a prime candidate for a school like Forman or Landmark
et.c., a typicla case of gifted/LD but they are all too faraway from us, so at the
moment we just think we need to save money to send him
there for high school (at least for couple of years).

He loves arts (and is good in it), so the lack of arts
and science in the new school is hard to take, but…
one needs to give up something to have the extra
language arts classes he needs… It took me a while to
realize this and to “be in peace” with that
thought…

Yes,we are grateful for out Child Study Team support. We live in Northern New Jersey. His IEP was changed to label him multiply disabled due to his Learning Disability and Add. Thanks for any help you can offer.

Your child sounds exactly like mine. We live in northern New Jersey, could I ask the name of the School you are talking about? NYC is about 30 minutes from us, I would love to investigate the possibility although commuting to NY would not be ideal, if the school is really good, I would consider it. Thanks for your help.

Wow! You pinpointed the conflict, I am having, however, my son is very happy, he switched for the beginning of third grade from a private parochial school to this public school and a happier kid you could not find. He does not want to switch schools, but I know I am the grown-up and have to make the hard decisions. My problem is that my son is not a behaviour problem, he does not need the structure and sterness to be kept in line, I am afraid this would crush his spirit. His strengths are in his verbal abilities. He just needs more intense help with his basic skills. Do I get the skills and lose the kid? If he wasn’t happy, I could justify the switch, but he is happy. Thanks for your input, it really helped to have someone spell it out so clearly and to find a positive ending. Still trying to figure it out.

My son is also a happy kid, loves his school and his friends. But the school he is in is increasingly rigorous, and from what I understand 4th grade will be even harder. To keep his skills moving along we have him tutored twice a week, and although he is making progress, he can’t close the gap because the expectations keep rising too. Somethings got to give.

This is not an easy call, and I know that there are many parents who rejected my son’s school for the very reasons you are mentioning. I think parents know their children the best and they can make a call whether the placement will serve their children or not…

I should tell you that my son did not want to change school at all. He is still complaining occasionally that it is all because of us. I think at this age (he is in 5th grade now) most of the children in his school do not want to be where they are- the parents want this placement not the kids. Once you go into high school age children (the school is 2-12 grade) they may have a better idea why this school might served them better than a regular high school. But I cannot say for sure, I did not meet these children only from talking to parents and teachers I can assure you the children where quite frustrated or depressed before they switched schools. My son and the other boy with whom he is commuting (6th grader) are going through (as I called it) second grieving period at the moment. They have learned from the other kids that they are usually in this school for a couple of years at least, so they suspect they might stay there for at least another year.

The structure at school is not really for behavior. These children are not, and have not been, behaviour problem- the school does not accept such cases (this by the way, that was one of the reasons we rejected the self-contain class option- there were behaviour problem cases there). What the structure does (my mom’s opinion) it helps them stay focused and do what they need to do academically during the assigned time and just simply learn and gain academic skills. From such experience the children learn that they are capable of performing accademically. They need to forget the “helplessness” they had learned before and see that they are capable of keeping track of what needs to be done- either at school or at home for HW- they all have their daily planners where they write down every single assignment et.c. They also are very tightly monitored in terms of doing their HW- they need to error-repair until they get at least 85%. Since they have very individualized programs – everybody is really asked to do what they can do, which empowers the children tremendously.

I do not know how will it look like in a long run, but so far it is really working. Yes, he is tired and yes he complains sometimes, but… His therapist told me just last Tue., that yes, it was a very good choice – we have a joyful boy again (we were the only party pushing for this placement - the school accepted but felt it would be too intense).

Do I think this is perfect- by all means not. I would love him to have his “hands on” science- he loves it; but I realized last school year- there is no ideal placement for our son- we can only chose from what is available….

Darlene,

There is a school in Pennington New Jersey called The Cambridge school. It seems wonderful. They do lindamood bell and orton. It is very small and hasn’t even been around for that long. It was started by some faculty from the Lewis School which is another LD school in my area. I like Cambridge better.
Search The Cambridge school and New Jersey under google. It should come up.

Pennington is in central jersey just north of Princeton. It may be far from you depending on where you are in New Jersey.

Good Luck

Linda

Darlene,

There is a school in Pennington New Jersey called The Cambridge school. It seems wonderful. They do lindamood bell and orton. It is very small and hasn’t even been around for that long. It was started by some faculty from the Lewis School which is another LD school in my area. I like Cambridge better.
Search The Cambridge school and New Jersey under google. It should come up.

Pennington is in central jersey just north of Princeton. It may be far from you depending on where you are in New Jersey.

Good Luck

Linda

Darlene,

Your son sounds like my son. I just moved him out of a very, oh how should I put this, “intervention intense” environment. It just did not work for him. The more they did the more distracting it was for him. He needs a creative environment where he is allowed to move from his seat every once and awhile. His new teacher is like this and he is very happy. She seems more laid back and accepting than most. She doesn’t have alot of rigid requirements. Kind of a “as long as he is learning” approach.

He is doing much better removed from the intense environment that was more distracting than anything.

Linda

Thanks, I will look into it, but we are in Bergen County so it is a hike. I appreciate all information. Darlene

Thanks, I will look into it, but we are in Bergen County so it is a hike. I appreciate all information. Darlene

I appreciate all the information, and perspectives, it is very encouraging to have other scenarios to learn from. I just wish their was a place where my child could be happy and receive the skills he needs without having to commute 50 minutes. For now, I am going to keep on searching, then when I’ve exhausted every effort. I’ll weigh all the options and hopefully not have to choose between education and happiness. Thanks Darlene

My daughter is in a small, private LD school. It is one of the only ones in our area — and it is a 50 minute drive one-way for us. Her school is quite small (19 students) many of whom are dyslexic as well as ADD. They use Orton (Slingerland) and then use their experience to help them teach the balance of the subjects as best they can. The real emphasis is on reading. They do have music, art, and P.E. (they are even learning to fence!). They blend in a number of field trips into the curriculum — keeps the kids engaged. My daughter left the public school system in 2nd grade, with horrible self-esteem. She’s now on the student council, and is considered a leader. It has been well worth the drive! We tend to use that time to have her read alound to us, or work on her spelling words. Makes for more play time when she gets home!

Thanks for the input, sounds like a good plan. My only problem is that I have three other children, that I have to drive to school, so I would have to arrange some type of busing for him, somehow I doubt he will use the time wisely. I guess that the benefits would out weigh the minuses, it’s just a tough call. I am very happy to here your daughter is doing so well, the world of special ed, can be so disappointing that I really feel we all need to hear the successes too. Thanks Darlene