I am very worried about my partner’s son. He is 15, has Asperger’s, dyslexia, and ADHD. He lost his mother two years ago today and he has never dealt with it, in my opinion. He will not discuss her at all. Lately, he’s been having trouble in school and at home. We found out he’s been skipping school, even though he denies it. His teachers have verified he wasn’t in school and he won’t tell us where he was. He is flunking all his classes. Yesterday there was an incident where he slugged another student. He is very passive/agressive at home, especially about his chores. I can tell he has a great deal of anger, and his father and I have tried to get him to talk about what’s bothering him, but he says nothing. I moved in with them in July. There have no outward issues between he and I and I believe he likes having me in the house. We get along well, I think. His father asked him if his problems have anything to do with my moving in and he said not at all. I should mention I’m a reading specialist on medical leave at the moment. So I am familiar with Special Ed. His case manager is great—we love her. She lost her father at 14, so she’s been trying to get him to talk to her about his mom’s death.
I am very worried—afraid this boy’s anger is going to explode at some point and he’ll end up on a rooftop with an AK-47. I know this sounds drastic, but it’s how I feel. He absolutely refuses to go for counseling. He was taken to a therapist a while back and he wouldn’t speak at all in the session. Completely silent.
I really need some feedback and ideas. I love this boy and want to help.
Re: Struggling boy with Aspergers
>I am very worried about my partner’s son. He is 15, has Asperger’s, dyslexia, and ADHD. He lost his mother two years ago today and he has never dealt with it, in my opinion. He will not discuss her at all. Lately, he’s been having trouble in school and at home. We found out he’s been skipping school, even though he denies it. His teachers have verified he wasn’t in school and he won’t tell us where he was. He is flunking all his
It is most likely that the Aspergers is not the cause of his anger and frustration. I’m not saying it would help matters. I lot of times people with AS have problems with anger, I’m not sure what it all means. Before I was put on Tegretol, I got very angry for no apparent reason. I know several others for whom this is true.
>I am very worried—afraid this boy’s anger is going to explode at some point and he’ll end up on a rooftop with an AK-47. I know this sounds drastic, but it’s how I feel. He absolutely refuses to go for counseling. He was taken to a therapist a while back and he wouldn’t speak at all in the session. Completely silent.
I would guess some counseling might be in order. AS people can definitely benefit from it. But you need to look for someone who does understand it and knows which part of the problem is AS and which is not. If they have never heard of AS then look elsewhere.
Also I think that with AS kids they do go thru periods of being angry and frustrated. My nephew certainly did and we thought the same thing about him. All of a sudden, he is happy. Part of it, is having a job. IN his case, he really likes to work and has a very strong work ethic. You should find out what he wants to do, what his interests are, and go out of your way to help him with these interests. AS people usually have one overriding interest and it is great when we can go about and do those.
I would guess that you need to go with him and act like this is a group problem/family issues rather than selecting him out.
>I really need some feedback and ideas. I love this boy and want to help.[/quote]
HTH,
—des
I think the tendency is to focus on the mothers death as this is such a a trauma, but wow, you’ve got ADHD, LDs and apparently a spectrum disorder. Not to mention the teenage years!!!!
Is the ADHD being treated and/or dealt with? How?
Is the Aspergers official or someones opinion? How are his social skills? Friends? How does he spend his time? What is he doing when he skips schoo?
How is his schoolwork? Does he have an IEP? Is this his freshman or sophomore year? Could it be a high school adjustment?
I think I would try putting the mother aspect on the back burner for now and address some other stuff. It will probably resurface but there are too many other choices that cant be ignored